If Only You Knew
by YaoiWhore
Summary: Sometimes it sucks having to put on a facade, especially for people I can't stand... Yaoi. KakaNaru. Don't like, then skedaddle.
1. Prologue

I **do not**own Naruto in any way, shape, or form.

_People have complained in later chapters of this fic that a twelve year old Naruto having sexual urges is borderline pedophilia. Therefore in order to preserve certain peoples' moral instabilities I am warning you now that I refuse to change my story. If you don't like the idea of Naruto being able to have sex at age twelve and in turn being lusted after I ask you to refrain from reading on the grounds that your sensibilities may be offended. Also, this is not, I repeat not, the usual take on Naruto. In fact he is much different than his usual self. I am writing this fic because I like the idea of a Naruto who is not as forgiving and naive as in the anime and manga. Oh, and if you like the Fourth Hokage then you might also be offended because he is not a good man in this fic. Sakura bashing as well. _

_All right to people who have read this, or really whomever,_

I finally got a beta! Therefore all of the chapters will be going through reconstruction. Before you get all up in arms I WILL still be updating so don't flip out. That's really all I wanted to say. I really like what my freaking awesome Beta purefoysgirl has done with my fic—or as I call it "My little Mess"--so if you guys have time definitely check out her stuff...it's great. Okay...well enjoy.

**Prologue**

Another blow could be heard in the otherwise soundless night. I should know, it was me being hit. I curled into a ball and just took it because I knew that after awhile it would stop…it always did. I don't know exactly what it was that I did to infuriate the villagers tonight, but the beatings are becoming more and more frequent.

I barely feel the pain anymore, it's like I'm just dead inside.

When it had first started, I hadn't done _anything_ to antagonize the villagers—I'd avoided them and they, in turn, had ignored me. And then one night for no discernible reason, they had suddenly struck.

No part of my body had been left unscathed.

Not long after that I had started playing my pranks. The way I see it, if they were going to attack me anyway, I might as well get something out of it, get my own dig in.

But there had been no pranks today. No, today they were using the same old justification, and as if to confirm this theory they spoke one word aloud.

"_Monster_!"

It was a word I was more than familiar with by now.

"_Monster_!"

And the kicking continued.

I didn't even warrant enough importance for them to use their fists.

After all, dirt will stain your hands, but will wash right off of your shoes.

One of them gave me a final kick and then, spitting on me for good measure, they all walked away with smug, satisfied smiles on their faces.

"Stupid fox," I heard one of them say. "Not so tough _now_, are you? How does it feel to be helpless? As helpless as _we_ were when you killed the Fourth and nearly destroyed our home!"

As the laughter faded away I got up and made my pained way back to the place where I slept. I wouldn't call it _home_—that's a concept I just can't understand. I have no home, only a place where I sleep.

Climbing through the front door, I closed it and immediately went to bed, burrowing under the covers. I knew they had broken some bones, maybe popped some things inside me. At the very least there would be bad bruising, but I wasn't worried. I knew I would be healed by morning, I always was, I always have been, so why worry? Anything they've done to me, I've _undone_, and inwardly I laughed at the stupidity of those villagers who still haven't caught on. They really thought I didn't know! But I knew, I've _always _known.

I've always known _everything_.

They thought I didn't know that I'm the container of _Kyuubi no Kitsune_*, ha! What a joke _that_ is! Ever since I can remember I've had conversations with it. Supposedly, the Third Hokage had decreed that no one was to speak of it, else they would face harsh punishment. So instead of speaking with their mouths, they used the next best thing and thought themselves safe...Safe from the Third Hokage's retribution, safe from Kyuubi's wrath.

And Kyuubi had certainly had a perfectly good reason to be wrathful, for attacking their precious village of Konoha. The village had blindly killed its kind without knowing or caring anything about it. I say "it" because Kyuubi is neither male nor female, it simply _is_. And what it _had_ been was outraged at the slaughter. Wouldn't _you_ strike back at those who killed your people? I know _I_ would!

It's common knowledge that Kyuubi had been "killed" by the Fourth Hokage. What _wasn't_ common knowledge is that the ANBU* had been dispatched before Kyuubi's attack on the village. Their mission had been to kill all of the _kitsune youkai_* that they could find. Since Kyuubi was the undisputed leader of the _kitsune youkai_—of the _youkai_ kind in general—it defended its charges and attacked the source.

The Fourth Hokage had been no hero—_he'd_ been the monster, the murderer. _He_ had first blood upon his hands. And they fancied him a hero. What a joke! Some kind of hero, committing genocide on anything and anyone more powerful than him. And when he bit off more than he could chew with Kyuubi, he did the only thing he could to get his last bid in—he sealed it inside me, his newborn son. His "sacrifice" was just melodramatic overacting, and very much what the people wanted in a martyr, in a _hero_.

Not a lot of people know that I'm his son, and the ones who _do_ don't know that I'm ashamed that I _am_ his son. What kind of person would want a father like that? If they knew the truth, they'd be horrified, too—but, no, he's the ultimate hero. They even put his goddamned face on Hokage Mountain next to previous leaders who _had_ actually cared about their people. Hell, the First had been able to communicate and even control _youkai_. Key word here is "communicate" as opposed to "eradicate" like my dear old father. Like I said, some _hero_, but it all boils down to people seeing what they want to see.

Tired and worn out, I found myself seeking out Kyuubi. Most people assumed that I was Kyuubi in human form, and in a way they were right—it lived inside me, sharing my thoughts and experiences, always there when I needed it…the only constant thing I had.

**So how was the beating tonight, brat?**

I laughed, amused by the undertone of concern I heard in its voice.

_Does it matter? It isn't like either of us cares, Kyuubi—I'd have to have emotions for _that_. And what're you asking _me _for, stupid fox! You were there, too!_

**I know pest, **it chuckled, **but I can't help but worry about you, especially seeing as I won't be here much longer—**

_Don't talk like that, you stupid old fox! You're the only parent I've ever had! You can't just leave me!_

**Don't worry, brat, I'm not going anywhere right now. Even though you were born human, I still think of you as **_**youkai**_**, at least as an equal to **_**hanyou**_…**You know, when the time comes that I cease to exist, you will be fully one of the **_**youkai**_—**and quite possibly one of the most powerful beings on earth. When that day finally arrives, I want you to do something for me.**

_What, Kyuubi? Just tell me what you want me to do._

**I want you to find any remaining **_**youkai**_**, no matter the species, and protect them as I did.**

_Yes—_it was a confident promise. _Anything else?_

**Yes, child. Be happy.**

I tried to smile, wondering if this fondness I felt for _Kyuubi_ was something like love. Emotions were things I had no basis in; I had too little experience with them to really know what they were. Bitterness, anger, sadness—these were things I knew, but this _happiness_ that _Kyuubi_ spoke of might never be within my power.

_I will try_

**Hmmph. Go to sleep, then. The healing has started but it will go more swiftly with rest.**

_Yes, Kyuubi_, I mocked, purposefully childish.

**Gods, sometimes I forget how young you really are! Just nine, you little **_**chibi**_**!**

_Shut _up_, stupid fox!_

I could feel Kyuubi's amusement, that vast weight of knowledge and life all swirling around in my head, the kind of experience that allows it to so benignly tease a being hardly a fraction of its age.

**Stupid is something neither of us will ever be…Even if you **_**do **_**make a study of being annoying.**

_I'm ignoring you, now,_ I told it. I turned over to go to sleep, already more comfortable, and heard Kyuubi murmur, **Goodnight, little **_**youkai**_**.**

**End of Prologue**

_Kyuubi no Kitsune: _Nine-tailed fox demon

_chibi-_spoiled child

_hanyou-_half demon

_youkai-_demonkind, demon

_kitsune-_fox

_Hokage-_"fire shadow" leader of Konoha (village hidden in the leaves).


	2. Chapter 1 Irritating Situations

I **DO NOT **own Naruto, nor do I make any money from the writing of this fic.

_Thanks goes out to Purefoysgirl once more for taking my horrible writing and turning it into something salvageable. _ _To anyone reading this for the first time I hope you enjoy it. To anyone returning to read it again I hope you like the changes that have been made. I know I Do._

**Chapter 1 Irritating Situations**

_Three Years Later_

Having pulled my usual prank of the day, I ran from the men who were chasing me.

"Naruto!" they shouted. "This is the final straw!"

The 'final straw' as they put it was my defacing _Hokage_ Mountain by painting graffiti on the _Hokages'_ faces. The Fourth had received an especially interesting array of symbols.

The symbols were actually _youkai_. The ones that I'd painted onto the Fourth's face meant "murderer." The villagers, blissfully ignorant fools that they were, had no clue. They figured it was just childish scrawls from a demon-possessed—or _murderous_, as they secretly commented—child's mind.

Finally losing sight of them, I sensed Umino Iruka's chakra signature ahead of me. He is the _sensei_ for Konoha's _Shinobi_ Academy and one of the few people who willingly deal with me. Still, feigning stupidity on his behalf is really getting tedious. _Really_.

When he jumped out at me, I shouted aloud in false surprise, slapping that stupid-astonished look on my face. After all of this time, after all of these years, I take some pride in knowing that it's perfectly convincing, at least.

"Caught you, Naruto!" he snarled, incensed.

"Iruka-_sensei_!" I cried, pretending to be nothing less than awe-struck. "What are you doing here?"

"Catching _you_!" he growled, and dragged me back to the Academy by the scruff of my neck like a recalcitrant dog, mumbling under his breath about wayward students the whole way there.

When we arrived, Iruka dumped me onto the floor and gave me a thorough chewing out, complete with arms crossed over his chest and aggravated pacing. The pacing was the only interesting thing about an otherwise yawn-worthy ass-chewing, made worse by the fact that he has bad breath. Lacking any other escape at the moment, I chose to ignore him.

Snorting at me with disdain, Iruka called everyone up to the front of the class as punishment for my actions.

"Everyone will perform the transformation _jutsu_. The target transformation is me. Haruno Sakura you're up first."

While we all waited in line, I could hear them muttering about me, saying it was my fault, that they all had to suffer for my screw up. If I cared about any of them, it might have mattered, but their petty and stupid lives—comfortable and placid and full of loving families—didn't interest me in the least. I tuned out their complaints and turned my attention to something that _wasn't_ an utter waste of my time—observing those classmates of mine who _weren't_ mentally challenged and perfect little imitations of mindless villagers.

Unfortunately, that did _not_ include the vast majority of my class, it only allowed for the observation of Ino, Shikamaru, Kiba, Lee, Sakura, Chojji, Ten Ten, Hinata, and Sasuke. They were the only ones with the slightest hint of being interesting, the most promising of them all being Uchiha Sasuke

Everyone knows _his_ tragic story of woe—and please notice that this statement is heavy on the sarcasm. He came from the beloved Uchiha clan and carries a deep and abiding hatred for his brother, Itachi. Itachi, of course, in the way of all dramatic tales, is rumored to have murdered his entire clan…save for Sasuke. Oh _irony_. Itachi, apparently, encouraged Sasuke to hate until it has festered to the point to no return…and then try to kill him. So, basically, Sasuke lives for revenge and the revival of his clan. Which begs the question—does he kill his brother first and risk dying himself, or does he go knock someone up? You decide. I don't think _he_ has, yet.

Personally, I think there is more to the story, but I have more important things to worry about than that idiot Uchiha who allows hate to epitomize his reason for living. Still—and I would never admit this out loud—he's not bad-looking.

"Uzumaki, Naruto," Iruka's voice brought me out of my reverie. Inwardly, I smirked. Guess it's my turn, huh? Taking my place at the front of the class, I made the proper signs…but instead of the Transformation Jutsu I performed my Sexy Jutsu.

Iruka got a nosebleed, recovered, and proceeded to yell at me nonstop for ten minutes. Once he was done, he gave me a look of utter disgust.

I pushed back a twinge of disappointment. People have always treated me like dirt and that I can handle. Iruka, however, has been nice to me on several occasions, with nothing more prompting it than a good heart. Having him look at me the same way as everyone else made me wish he'd only ever been cruel, because then it wouldn't bother me that he turned out to be just like them when it came down to it. _Worse_ than them, even, because at least they never pretended to care.

I told myself it didn't matter, I clung to my apathy in desperation.

But I knew it was a lie.

I've always tried to understand how I could be this way, and I've always held the cautious hope that Iruka—my _sensei_—might be able to help me feel. I mean, I could _feel_ things, but not like other people. I never learned how. I never had a mother and father to teach me, friends to share with me, anyone to learn from. I could feel curiosity, disappointment, hurt, confusion, but anything that remotely resembled love, caring, even giving a shit about life…I just came up with a cold void. I knew, having lived without it, that such emotions weren't a necessity, but just once I wanted to feel _something_ that went deep, that went all the way to the bone. In the end, I guess, it doesn't really matter.

Avoiding my disappointment, I turned my thoughts to other things and observed Haruno Sakura out of the corner of one eye. She was one of the brightest people in our class. Unfortunately, she was also one of Sasuke's fan-girls, so most of the time she acted like an imbecile. For instance, she was currently fighting with another girl to sit next to Sasuke, who looked like he couldn't give less of a damn.

Because I constantly observe Sakura and her ridiculous crush on Sasuke, people have mistakenly taken that to mean that I, of course, have a crush on her myself. I think they all need hobbies and to stay out of my business, but that's just my opinion. Personally, I shudder at the thought of myself with that pink-haired monstrosity. Yet, I couldn't _not_ observe her—watching her make over Sasuke was like watching an accident, I just couldn't look away. Morbidly, I wondered what on earth could be so fascinating about someone who couldn't give two shits and a fart about her that would keep Sakura so devotedly determined to get his attention.

To get a better look at this situation, I leapt up onto Sasuke's desk to peer down at him.

Before I could do much more than cock my head, I was rudely interrupted by an elbow that sent me crashing to the ground on top of Sasuke.

Everything else just blanked out as his lips met mine.

I didn't move from where I lay sprawled on top of him, I was just…_there_. I had never been touched by another human being in any significant way outside of beatings or punishment, so kissing was definitely a foreign concept and just a bit of sensory overload. Sasuke, however, seemed to know _exactly_ what to do. His tongue parted my lax lips and snaked into my mouth. It was such an odd, alien feeling that I didn't move or even respond.

The kiss only lasted a heartbeat before I was bodily pulled off of Sasuke and beaten by an angry bunch of hormone-driven teenage girls.

When they were done, I pulled myself off of the floor and went back to my seat, but I could still hear the whispers.

"Did you see that?!"

"The Uchiha will be traumatized for life!"

"That freak _kissed_ him!"

Okay, _this_ I could deal with. People have always thought that I'm a freak and now they think I'm a _gay_ freak—but I wouldn't really argue that. I didn't have enough experience in the matter to really know anything beyond the fact that Sasuke's lips were really soft, and Sakura grossed me out.

By the time class was over, I was a little less bewildered. The classroom was empty by the time I was ready to leave. As I walked towards the door, a voice that I _really_ wasn't in the mood to hear called after me, "Where are you going? _Dobe__?"_

Uchiha, Sasuke—a.k.a. _Teme._

Not in any mood to play cheerful, energetic Naruto, I was blunt with him. "None of your business." And, just for good measure, "_Teme_."

He looked slightly taken aback, as if he didn't expect me to call him that. Recovering quickly, he replied, "Tsch! As if I really cared, Uzumaki."

"Then why did you ask?" I pointed out, forgetting for a moment that I was supposed to be a brainless _baka_* with nothing intelligent to say.

"I…I…" Uchiha, Sasuke—prodigy of the Uchiha clan—was actually stuttering because of something the Kyuubi no Kitsune Vessel had said. Would wonders _never_ cease?

Before I could stop it, I was smirking. Mockingly, I asked, "What's wrong, Sasuke-kun? At a loss for words? Well, now you know how your fan-girls feel…"

Sasuke's cheeks took on a reddish tint.

I sighed. As much fun as it was to tease Sasuke, who took like _way_ too seriously, I had more important things to tend to.

Without another word, I started to leave, but the bastard was blocking the exit.

"What are you trying to pull, Uchiha?" I coldly asked. "You're not cool and collected, but that's _your_ problem—not mine. Now get out of the damned way!"

"No."

One word, but the tone said so much more—_I like a challenge._

I realized at once that his momentary discomfit had passed and he was once again his usual bastard self.

I started to respond but the Uchiha came closer, invading my personal space so that I had to back up. Without realizing it, I found my back against a wall.

Sasuke then leaned towards me, bracing his hands on either side of my head, his face looming to fill my vision.

This was _beyond_ weird! I was actually _letting_ some person I _cannot stand back me into a wall_?! Hell, no!

"Uchiha," I said through gritted teeth. "You have five seconds to get out of my face!"

In my head I counted to five. Looking at the bastard's face he was showing no inclination of moving. Instead he seemed amused, which only made me angrier. He must've been counting down the five seconds, because when I hit zero, he did something _entirely_ unexpected.

He kissed me.

Once again, I found myself too shocked to kick his ass or make him back off, I just held still for the gentle pressure of his lips. It was…vibrant, warm, it made me _feel_. I felt it clear down to my toes and back up again—I've never felt more alive in my life!

He made a low, frustrated, growling sound as he tried to part my lips with his tongue. Even though I liked his embrace so far, I wasn't about to make it easy for him—no amount of ambush-kissing could get me _that_ far gone.

Oddly enough, my body didn't seem to mind Sasuke's touch. I got hot in places I didn't think were possible—my cock, for one, twitched and began to rise.

I gasped in surprise and Sasuke pressed his advantage—his tongue slid into my mouth in eager exploration.

I tried holding back the moan that threatened but I couldn't. The noise I made caused his eyes to flare with triumph, but I was too wrapped up in what was happening to care about his petty power-trips. _Feeling_—_that_ was more important to me, and I felt so _much_!

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, Sasuke pressed flush against me, pushing me hard into the wall. His hands drifted over me while his lips held mine. One of his tense thighs worked its way between mine, brushing against my straining erection.

I slowly lifted my hands, unsure of what to do but wanting to encourage more of this _feeling_. I twined my arms around his neck in invitation and he didn't disappoint. He twisted a little against me and dropped his hands to my hips, pulling me hard against him as he rocked his own hips forward.

I moaned again, shuddering in his grasp at the delicious friction of it, the hard heat of his own cock pushing and rubbing against mine. Even through our clothing it was electric, amazing, and I didn't bother to contain my moans. It seemed to affect him—he pushed against me with greater insistence, almost frantic, almost hard enough to cause pain. I realized that it was getting out of control but I couldn't force myself to break away, to push him, to _stop_ this intense and amazing pleasure.

But suddenly, it hit me.

_Why is he doing this_?

My body tried to shut down this train of thought because what Sasuke was doing felt _good_, and he was actually _touching_ me as no one ever had before—and that was the problem. That very lack of human contact made me suspicious of his reasoning, and my naturally mistrustful nature overrode the foreign and delightful sensations that the Uchiha was provoking in me. With a strength born of long years of neglect and abuse, I pulled away completely.

For a moment we just stared at each other, panting, trying to catch our breath.

I knew I looked as disheveled as I felt, but Sasuke looked _tousled_. Believe me when I say this only makes him look that much more fuckable.

When I'd finally recovered enough to speak I snarled at him, "What the hell are you trying to pull Uchiha!"

He still seemed to be a little dazed, and when I yelled at him he just seemed confused. Hmmph! I wasn't about to fall for _that_ act!

"Listen you bast—"

"What on earth!"

Iruka. _Great_, just what I needed.

Iruka came bustling into the room and squinted at us for a moment, trying to identify who we were.

"Naruto? Sasuke? What are both still doing here?"

I decided to lie. What, like I could tell him the _truth_?

"Nothing," I replied, glaring at Sasuke and daring him to disagree. "Right, Uchiha?"

Sasuke glared right back. He clearly considered me a coward for my lie, but I didn't see _him_ taking the plunge. He just scowled and tightly said, "Right."

"In fact, we were just leaving," I added.

Iruka looked suspicious, but he didn't question either of us further.

"Sasuke go home," he said, never taking his eyes off me.

Sasuke's eyes slid over me and then back up to my face.

The message in them was clear—this wasn't finished, not by a long shot.

After he left I waited impatiently for Iruka to begin his lecture; however, all he said was, "Naruto come with me."

Curious and with no other recourse, I decided to humor him and follow.

He led me to Hokage Mountain where the evidence of my earlier artwork still remained.

"Clean off the paint," he said, and motioned towards a bucket full of suds with a green sponge laying next to it.

I looked at him incredulously and asked, "What makes you think I'm going to listen to anything you tell me to do?"

Iruka flinched as though I'd hit him. I almost felt bad for him. _Almost_.

"Please," he asked. "Just do it."

Grumbling to myself, I grabbed the bucket and sponge and started scrubbing off the symbols I'd written. The entire time I cleaned, Iruka chattered at me like a monkey. I should have found it annoying, but it was comforting somehow.

By the time I was finished Iruka was talking about tomorrow's final test before graduation.

I was more than familiar with this particular test. After all I've failed it twice before. Of course I'd failed on _purpose_. Being a _shinobi_ held no appeal from me. It's not as though my future lay in being Konoha's bitch. There is no way I would ever die for this village. I could pass the stupid test easily enough. All that was required was to make a doppelganger, which I could do in my sleep.

No, I would never sacrifice myself for a village that so selfishly demanded its people be willing to give up their body and soul for its continued existence. This village that was so close-minded to anything beyond its own limited knowledge—that, in fact, killed what it didn't understand. How could I ever willingly give my life for such a place?

A lot of people might ask why I would stay here when it's obvious I'm not treated as a human being. The answer is simple—Kyuubi told me to stay here, and here I will stay until it decides it wants me elsewhere. I might not be willing to follow Konoha's orders but Kyuubi is a whole different story.

"So Naruto…" Iruka's voice brought me out of my musings.

"Hn," I grunted.

He giggled.

He actually g_iggled._ Like a teenage girl!

"What is so damned funny?" I demanded to know.

"You sound just like Uchiha Sasuke."

Now _that_ brought a scowl to my face. At my look of distaste Iruka started giggling again.

I shuddered at the sound and quickly asked, "What did you want to know?"

He scratched his head, as if trying to recover his train of thought.

"Oh yeah. Will you try really hard to pass the test tomorrow?"

I arched an eyebrow at his choice of words. Really, at times Iruka could be _such_ a child. I really didn't even know how to respond to that—this was the first time anyone had asked me such a question.

"Ugh…sure," is what managed to stumble its way out of my mouth.

Iruka's face lit up and he said, "Great! I'm sure you'll do it this time!"

Inwardly I shook my head. How could a man who'd achieved the rank of _chuunin_ still have such a naïve belief in people? It was truly mind-boggling.

He stood up from where he'd been sitting so comfortably the whole time I'd been scrubbing. He stretched his spine for a moment and looked at Hokage Mountain, surveying my work.

"Good job! If I didn't know better, I'd say that nothing had been done to it in the first place," he said, stretching again. In a _far_ too cheerful voice, he said, "Let's go."

I watched him walk away.

For about the millionth time today, I shook my head but followed anyway.

Don't ask me why

***********************************End of Chapter**********************************

Thanks for reading guys, please stay tuned.

Teme-Bastard

Dobe-dead last; loser


	3. Chapter 2 Waiting in the End

**Chapter 12 Waiting in the end**

I didn't have long to wait as Iruka led me to the popular local ramen shop I bit back a moan. Damn.

One of the trademarks of my 'mask'—as I call it—is having an obsession of all things ramen. In truth I can barely stand the stuff.

The idea to create a cover personality had come to me one night while I was having one of my chats with Kyuubi.

**Gaki?**

_What?_

**You do realize how important it is for these humans not to realize that we interact; not to mention, you being in ignorance about my presence right?**

_Psssh,_I'd scoffed, _if those fools didn't want me to know about you then maybe they shouldn't call out "demon" or "monster" as they're beating me._

**I realize the stupidity of humans gaki, trust me. But these imbeciles still expect you to have remained ignorant of my presence. Therefore, I suggest you use this to your advantage.**

_How exactly would I go about implementing this to my advantage?_Suddenly it dawned on me exactly what Kyuubi meant. _Wait you don't mean…_

**Very good gaki, yes that's exactly what I mean, create an alternate personality. This 'mask' should be almost the complete opposite of your true self. That way no one will suspect.**

_Not a bad idea,_I conceded. (Okay so the idea was originally Kyuubi's, but what the hell? In a way Kyuubi is me, so whatever). _So I should go for an energetic, cheerful loudmouth, who is mostly an idiot, would that work?_

**Yes,**Kyuubi chuckled as if amused by the picture, **add an obsession with ramen to go with it. That will make it just perfect.**Kyuubi's laugh turned into an all-out laugh.

_I'm glad this is so amusing to you,_I replied dryly. _You're not the one who has to make a fool of yourself._

**All right, All right,**Kyuubi managed to settle down, **make sure you wear loud, obnoxious clothing as well.**It started chuckling again**, I think orange would be an appropriate color, don't you think?**

_There is no way,_I protested, _t__hat is where I draw the line. It's bad enough I have to act like the polar opposite of myself, but I absolutely, positively refuse to yield to that._

In the end I ended up admitting defeat to it all.

At first it took effort on my part to play a convincing role so different from my real personality. Needless to say, I tripped and fell a few paces along the way; however, now it was second nature.

"Naruto?" Iruka's voice dispelled the memory. "Go ahead and order." The employee taking orders looked at me with clear distaste as he prepared to write my order down. I ignored him, and ordered a bowl of Pork ramen.

While we waited for our food, Iruka and I sat at the 'bar'. Just before our food was carried out, I saw the server spit in my bowl when she thought I wasn't looking. As our bowls were placed in front of us, the server smiled flirtatiously at Iruka and looked distastefully at me.

Suddenly her features warped into one of the most eerie grins I had ever seen.

"Enjoy your meal. Let me know how it was." As she walked away she cackled. Iruka frowned and looked from me to her and back again.

"What was that all about?" he asked, confused.

"It's nothing." I dismissed.

At my reluctance to talk about it Iruka started clucking about my earlier prank.

"You know what the Hokage are right Naruto?" _Oh Gods here we go, I do so love playing stupid._

"Yeah they're the top ninjas in village, ne?"

"Then why did you do it?" Iruka asked, crossing his arms, expecting nothing less than a truthful answer. _Shit_, well I sure as hell wasn't going to tell him the truth, so as usual, I lied.

"Because I'm going to surpass them all, I'm going to be the greatest Hokage the world has ever seen!" I blurted out.

Spur of the moment lying isn't really my thing. I usually need time to think of a master plan before I go forward.

Iruka didn't say anything at first, but his eyes said it all. _What a dream. Nobody will ever accept you as Hokage because of the Kyuubi._Then he looked at me with something akin to sadness and pity in his gaze.

"That's an admirable goal."

_Hmm, as if I want or need your pity_, _it's not like I am__actually__going to attempt to become Hokage, which would truly be a waste of time._

The employees at Ichiraku who had overheard my declaration were laughing so hard they had tears running out of their eyes. At the laughter, Iruka eyes them strangely, but said nothing. Wanting to change the subject I asked the first thing that came to mind, once again really beyond caring at this point what it was.

"Iruka sensei? I asked. "Can I try on your headband?"

"What this?" He fingered his hitai-ate. "No way, you don't get to wear this until you graduate. This is a sign that you've graduated and are no longer a child, but a full-fledged shinobi; neither of which you are as of yet."

Acting affronted at this I yelled.

"I want more ramen!" (The previous bowl of which, I had made the contents of disappear with a simple youkai technique.)

Iruka laughed and motioned towards the server.

I glared at her while Iruka's head was turned, daring her to spit in it again. Needless to say she got the message and this time I could actually eat it.

After Iruka had paid for the meal I thanked him and headed for back to my apartment.

Finally I could be myself, I could feel my face drop from its usual happy-go-lucky restraint, back into the expressionless face I usually wore when alone.

Instantly my body went from its seemingly normal posture, to a stance that let anyone who might want to mess with me know that they wouldn't be able to touch me without a fight.

The same stance I took two years ago when the beatings had stopped.

The reason?

I had beaten the villagers to the point of where now they would far rather hate me from a distance then attempt touching me again.

Finally at the apartment, I laid down on my bed sighing all the while.

**Long day, gaki?**

_You have no idea, well maybe you do. Let's just say after tomorrow's test I'll be more than glad to rid of this burden._

**Which burden? The burden of keeping this secret, of pretending to be something you're not, pretending that the Uchiha's kiss didn't stir you, or is it the warmth you feel towards Umino, Iruka?**

I sighed again, a_ll of the above, and to top it all off I kind of told Iruka that I want to become the next Hokage._

Kyuubi laughed outright, **y****ou what?**

_Well, the guy asked me why I defaced Hokage Mountain. I couldn't tell him the truth could I?_

**Hmm, I suppose not, but even if you had told him he wouldn't have believed you.**

_I know Kyuubi, but I wanted to be sure._

**Well, Umino will definitely never guess now. Plus, you have an even more convincing cover story.**

_Whatever,_I mumbled, _I'm going to sleep now._

**Goodnight gaki.**

_The Next Day_

When I arrived at the Academy the next morning everyone seemed to be full of tension. After all, today was the day of the final exam. I felt nothing but mild relief, after today I'd be done with the Ninja Academy forever.

The reason being once you failed the three times you were done with no hope of being a shinobi, ever.

I couldn't wait, finally I could finally be myself again. Not to mention actually do what I'm supposed to be doing, which did not include being a shinobi.

I was as close to excited as I ever get. I got in line with the other students I was last in line, big surprise there. By the time it was my turn to go, almost everyone else had passed with flying colors.

Inwardly I smiled, _this is going to be amusing._

When my name was called, I approached the senseis' table.

Iruka and Mizuki, another teacher, were the two handing out a hitai-ate, when the student completed the exam jutsu successfully.

As I approached the table, Iruka's eyes were full of hope and shining encouragingly at me. Too bad I was about to disappoint him. Mizuki's face was the ideal shinobi mask, emotionless.

Getting into position I prepared to make my move. Oh, I made the correct hand signs, but I didn't release enough chakra for the jutsu to be performed successfully.

The result was indeed a clone that resembled me, but had a vacant look in its eyes. It didn't move either, just lay on the ground with its tongue sticking out. Really it was the most miserable-looking copy I had ever made. I was proud of myself, only I could manage to screw up a jutsu this horribly.

Iruka took one look at it, gave me a disgusted look and screamed

"YOU FAIL!"

I walked out without a word, out to the yard behind the academy and sat on the swing as I watched everyone celebrate their graduation with their families. The swing was the equivalent of my safety net. Whenever I felt as though my mask might start slipping I came here. The gentle rocking motion of this old swing helped to somewhat calm my nerves and maintain my composure.

Suddenly I found myself under the scrutiny of two older females. Judging by their age they were old enough to have been alive during the whole Fourth Hokage incident.

"Is that him?" one of them asked the other.

"Yes, I'd recognize him anywhere. That blonde hair and blue eyes, _its whiskers_, that's him all right." the other replied disdainfully, the loathing practically oozing out of every pore in her body

"Thank the gods he didn't graduate. Could you imagine if they let someone like that become a shinobi?"

I just shrugged it off and left, I'd definitely been insulted far worse than that. I found myself at a ledge overlooking the village and forest. Just as I was about to leave a somewhat-familiar voice stopped me.

"Naruto?" Turning I was surprised to see Mizuki standing behind me, a gentle smile filling his usually stoic features.

"What?" I didn't feel like acting happy at that moment, luckily circumstances being what they were I didn't have to.

He took a seat right next to where I was standing and after a moment he finally spoke.

"You know the reason Iruka-sensei is hard on you is because he cares."

_Pshh,_ my mind scoffed, _yeah right, I don't know what kind of drugs you're on but maybe you should cut back._

"Look," I said rather curtly "I failed the test three times and that's all there is to it. Three strikes and you're out, and that's all ther—"

"—Naruto there is a way you can pass." after going through all of the trouble of interrupting me he paused, I suppose, for dramatic emphasis. I rolled my eyes and waited for him to continue. "If you can show Iruka-sensei that you can produce at least three clones."

I didn't like the tone of his voice, something was definitely up. Mizuki crept closer, and I discreetly moved back as he moved forward. Nobody invaded my personal space, _no one,_but he didn't seem to notice as he went on.

"There is a forbidden scroll with forbidden jutsus, and other _things_ contained within it."

I added a curious note to my voice as I asked

"Other things?" A mild hint of something ran through my veins, what if something fatal to Kyuubi was written in these scrolls? I had to find out, I left Mizuki sitting there on the ledge, but not before I caught the look on his face when he thought I wasn't looking.

A triumphant smile had made its way across his face.

I knew where the scrolls were kept, being as Kyuubi's knowledge was partially my own knowledge.

Once I had arrived at Hokage Tower I scanned my surroundings, the Hokage was the only one there.

_Huh, unusual, you would think the humans would protect their prized leader much better than that._

The third Hokage's name was Sarutobi. Unlike the Fourth Hokage, the third actually cared about Konoha and its inhabitants. Although it was true that I was the bane of the old man's existence, I held a modicum of respect for him, though I would never admit it.

I knew I would have to take care of the Third before I acquired the scrolls, so I used a youkai illusion spell of a sexy blonde woman, of which left him lying there gushing blood like a geyser. I didn't stop to think about the implications of a man of his age still being able to have an erection, there were just some places the mind shouldn't wander.

I proceeded to the archives and after some fumbling around, found the scroll Mizuki had described.

I decided to go to my usual spot in the forest where I trained. This area was next to an abandoned shed in the forest that hardly anyone from the village ever bothered with, some nonsense about it being haunted for such.

I knew I didn't have long, the Hokage would have recovered by now and sent his pet shinobi to recover the scroll.

As I read the scrolls all that I found that could have been considered "forbidden," were a few jutsus and the ceremony that had been used to seal away Kyuubi. I destroyed that part of the scroll, or rather I made it disappear and put nonsensical writing that not even the best scholar would ever be able to decipher. As for the forbidden jutsus, I left them as they were, they were special techniques that had been developed in Konoha.

Even though I hold no love for the village or its people, it is not my place to destroy the work of people before me.

Besides, Kyuubi had already taught me far more advanced techniques.

Rolling the scroll back up, I sensed Iruka rapidly approaching. I make myself look disheveled and sweaty as if I'd been practicing one of the forbidden jutsus. As he approached I made an effort to look surprised.

"Found you Naruto!"

I laughed a seemingly nervous sound and made sure Iruka took note of my appearance. At that moment I was pretty sure he was thinking I'd been practicing one of the jutsus.

I realized I would have some explaining to do.

"Iruka-sensei you'll have to let me graduate now!" I shouted at him.

Looking bemused he replied.

"How's that?"

"Mizuki-sensei told me about the scroll and this place!" I replied enthusiastically, jumping up and down for emphasis, and then pointing to the scroll. "He said if I learned just one jutsu from this scroll that you would have to let me graduate.

Before he could reply, Iruka suddenly pushed me out of the way, taking several hits from kunai for his trouble.

It appeared he too had sensed Mizuki's presence before he'd felt the surge of chakra.

Hmmm_,_who knew? _I guess there is a reason Iruka is a Chuunin._

The force of the attack threw Iruka against the wall of the shed, and pinned him to it like a skewered pig.

Still, what the hell had he been thinking? I had sensed Mizuki's chakra signature way before he had, fully prepared to throw a kunai when he'd pushed me.

Mizuki appeared a moment later, apparently not too happy that his kunai hadn't hit his intended mark.

"Naruto," he said to me in falsely sweet voice, "give me the scroll."

There was no way that was going to happen.

But a normal person would have been torn between his two teachers in this situation.

So I put on what I hoped was a confused face and looked back and forth between the two.

"Naruto," Iruka ordered, pulling kunai out of his body one by one, "Don't give Mizuki the scrolls, he just wants them to serve his own purpose, he lied to you."

"I lied to him?!" Mizuki laughed incredulously "That's a laugh considering the village has been lying to him his entire life."

"Be quiet Mizuki!" Iruka growled at him. "It's forbidden to speak of such things."

"Don't I know it," Mizuki drawled, "however, seeing as how I don't really care about such things anymore I think I'll tell Naruto about the decree that was put forth twelve years ago."

Even though I knew all about this I had to pretend didn't, so I asked.

"What is this decree, and why does everyone but me know about it?!"

"The decree is—." Mizuki stated.

"—Mizuki!" Iruka interrupted. "Shut up!"

Of course Mizuki went on anyway.

"—that no one is to speak of is that the demon fox that tried to destroy out village twelve years ago lives inside you, you are the demon fox!"

Stupid me didn't take kindly to the news.

"No!" I shouted dramatically, making my chakra blaze out of control. "No! No! No! No! No!"

"Naruto..." I heard Iruka groan in sympathy.

Then I did what anyone would more-than-likely do in that kind of situation, I ran away.

Mizuki took off after me in hot pursuit, but I had gained quite a head start. So I used a clone and had it take my place. I hid in a nearby tree and watched in amusement as Mizuki the idiot took off after it.

Much to my surprise I hadn't needed to do this.

Iruka appeared near my doppelganger and grabbed it, of course thinking it was me. He quickly told 'me' to go hide while he performed a henge of me with the scroll.

Mizuki, meanwhile, had seen Iruka grab what he thought was me and waited for me to escape. He hadn't seen Iruka grab my clone, so he decided to henge into Iruka, thinking that would be the perfect way to trap me.

"Naruto!" I heard the fake Iruka shout. "Give me the scrolls, Mizuki was just using you to get them."

Iruka disguised as me, rammed into Mizuki headfirst, sending him careening back to the ground.

"How did you know...Naruto?" Mizuki's henge of Iruka dropped. "How did you know I wasn't Iruka?"

"Because," Iruka panting himself stated, dropping his own henge, "I'm Iruka."

"Why do you persist on defending that demon brat?" Mizuki snarled at Iruka. "He killed your parents."

"You can say whatever you want," Iruka stated coldly, "but you're not getting your hands on that scroll."

"Not only will I get my hands on that scroll, but Naruto will hand them to me himself." Mizuki stated calmly. "After he gets revenge on the village, he is just like me after all."

Iruka arched an eyebrow at this, ironically at that moment so did I, from my cover behind a nearby tree. _I was like that moron?_ What a laugh.

"How's that?" Iruka asked dryly.

"That's just how beasts are."

Okay at this point I had had enough of this idiot.

I jumped in front of Iruka.

"Naruto!" he screamed at me. "You idiot, what are you thinking?"

I stayed silent, ignoring his questions.

"So you finally decided to come out and play, huh demon fox?" Mizuki said challengingly. Thinking he was being slick, he nonchalantly unclipped one of two shuriken from their position on his back.

"Try dodging this!" he shouted and flung it at me.

Shit, if I dodged the stupid thing at this angle Iruka would get suspicious.

Luckily I didn't need to come up with a plan. Iruka did all the work for me.

"Naruto!" He screamed "Get down!"

Once again knocking me out of the way he took another hit mean for me, this time directly in the back.

Once I'd brought my hand from behind my head, like the good little coward my mask was I looked up at Iruka and saw the extent of his injury.

"Why did you do that?!" I screamed at him and actually somewhat meant the question. All my life I've known the reason behind why things were the way they were. But this action seemingly had no logic.

Especially considering this was the second time he had done it.

"Because," he managed to gasp out, "we're the same." I stared at him like he was some foreign creature.

"I used to pretend like everything was okay and I became the class clown during my academy years, I did it all to mask the pain."

Then to add insult to injury he began to cry.

"I'm so sorry Naruto, I should have been there for you, but I wasn't. Could you forgive me?"

Sarcastic laughter filled the air, then a voice filled with loathing took its place.

"Don't make me laugh!" Mizuki chortled, quite an annoying sound too. "Iruka always hated you, it was the nine-tailed fox that killed his parents!"

I already knew this, although what I knew was the way it had happened. Kyuubi had killed several people in order to avenge its kind, Iruka's parents had unfortunately been there.

At this I decided to make a tactical exit by appearing to be hurt.

Iruka of course assumed this was the case.

"NARUTO!" he shouted as I once again took off using the cover of the bushes.

"Did you see his eyes?"

Mizuki stated in more of a sentence than a question, not waiting for a reply he sneered.

"Those are the eyes of a monster, now Naruto will take his revenge out on the village and everyone in it!"

Inwardly I scoffed at that, y_eah I'm the monster, yet you are trying to kill not only me, but Iruka as well. And for what, a stupid piece of paper._

"Yeah, you're right." Iruka confirmed.

I'd felt a pain I'd never felt before blossom in my chest, it only lasted for a brief moment, but it was there.

_So he does hate me after all…_ a_nd I was beginning to think_…I went back to my usual indifferent zone. The one I was comfortable in.

For some reason I continued to listen.

"That is the behavior of a monster," Iruka went on to say, "but that's not who Naruto is. There is so much more to him than people think."

I froze at that, _there is no possible way he could know._

My worry was short-lived, though.

"Naruto is one-of-a-kind and works hard. Sure he messes up sometimes and everyone jumps on him for it, but that just makes him even more determined to rise above everyone's opinion."

Feeling a surge of admiration for him I immediately squelched it.

He was wrong, yes, horribly so, but no one had ever said anything good about me before. Well Kyuubi, but that didn't count.

Mizuki took Iruka's praise of me in a different matter altogether.

He had a look of utter disgust on his face, and then it melted into what I guess he considered his angry face, he unclipped his remaining shuriken which he'd kept secured at his back.

"Iruka, I was going to save you for later, but I've changed my mind." He started spinning the shuriken and advanced toward Iruka.

Iruka, being the self-sacrificing fool he is, had closed his eyes and seemingly accepted his fate.

_Stupid humans!_ _Always ready to throw their lives away for such stupid things!_

It took me a split second to make a decision, a decision I knew I would grow to regret.

I jumped out of my hiding spot, easily kicking Mizuki back several feet just as he'd thrown his shuriken, which was not way off course.

He sat up dazed and bleeding from the mouth.

More of my true nature was present at this moment.

"If you every lay a hand on Iruka again I will kill you." I stated this in a clear, cold voice, which could not be mistaken for anything other than what it was.

Deadly intent.

Mizuki actually paled for a second or two. T

Then he recovered his arrogant look, wiped the blood from his lip, and snarled.

"Not bad for a little runt! Show me what you can really do, demon fox!"

Really human beings are so very predictable. I easily created a thousand clones one of the so-called forbidden jutsus that Kyuubi had taught me years ago. (Anything more elaborate might cause Iruka to get suspicious). The clones were really just a ruse.

I crossed my arms and watched from the sidelines as my clones did a rather impressive job of kicking his ass.

Once they were finished, I dispelled the jutsu and left Mizuki in a pile of drool and pain. _Let the Hokage's precious ANBU deal with him._

I walked over to Iruka, removed the shuriken from his back, ignoring his cries of pain, and helped him up.

I could see him staring at me as if he couldn't believe it was me.

"Hey Naruto." he gasped, grabbing a nearby tree to use as crutch. "Close your eyes."

I gave him a puzzled look, but obliged. It was only when I felt him tie something around my head that my dread started to grow.

My suspicions were confirmed when I opened my eyes and his hitai-ate was no longer attached to his forehead.

_Oh hell no!_ _I'd just ensure my way out of this ninja shit!_

Now I was stuck. _It looks as though this was going to be a bigger problem than I had anticipated._

"Ugh…thanks." was all I managed to sputter out to Iruka, who must have taken it as being moved to silence, then he proceeded to tickle me.

I myself was not ticklish, but the other me was, I pretended to laugh hysterically and tickle him back.

By the time I got back to the aprtment I was more than ready for bed, but before I drifted off I thought about the brief sense of pain and then warmth I'd felt. Was this emotion? Was this what I'd been missing out on?

**It's a brief taste, gaki,**Kyuubi explained. **But you will know when you feel emotion, true emotion, for the first time. Love will make you feel like you can do anything (even more than you already can), and hate will make you feel like you have a gaping hole where your chest once was.**

_Kyuubi, will I ever feel emotion?_

**You will gaki, you will. You may not know it yet, but you have a huge capacity for emotion.**

_Thanks Kyuubi, and goodnight._

**Goodnight, gaki.**

Before I drift off I thought to myself

_Iruka is the one I owe my thanks to, he is the one who gave me, if even for a moment, a brief burst of emotion. For that I will make sure no one ever harms him._

Meanwhile I wait for the day when I will fully feel emotions.

Love or hate, joy or sorrow.

To feel anything I think, would be better than this void.

So I continue to wait


	4. Chapter 3 A Brief Reprieve

_This of course is another reconstructed chapter. I would like to point out to Johnnyonthespot that I have already considered the idea of a beta. So if anyone is interested just email me or let me know in a review. Anyway, hopefully you all enjoy the 'reconstructed' aspect of the fic, it shouldn't have any more contradictions as a 'lovely' reviewer from was kind enough to educate me with. Although he did so in a very rude review. Constructive criticism and plain outright rudeness are two very different things. Therefore, if you have something to say do so in a polite way instead of spouting ridiculous, nonsensical things that I can't use and don't want. Well, enough of my ranting and raving hope you enjoy._

_narugal101_

**Chapter 3 A Brief Reprieve**

I didn't know what to expect the next day as I went back to the academy. Since I was a graduate now I wore the hitai-ate, like the rest of the genin. As I slid the door to the classroom open everyone in the room stopped their conversations and looked towards me, complete with mouths hanging open in shock.

Inwardly I smirked. I hadn't wanted to be a shinobi, in fact I still planned on finding a way out of it. However, for now I was stuck so I might as well have some fun. These pathetic humans with their stupid prejudices hadn't thought that I could graduate, had heard that I'd failed the graduation exam so imagine their surprise that I was actually here.

There was one person, that I could definitely go without seeing. Uchiha.

I grimaced.

Oh well, at least I wouldn't get put on his team.

More than likely.

The teams consisted of one jounin leader and a three-man cell of genin. But the chances of getting on Uchiha's team were slim to none.

Not long after I took my seat Iruka began calling off the teams. Meanwhile, I was thinking of ways that I could get exiled from this town so that I could fulfill my promise to Kyuubi. _I could kill someone…no, even I wouldn't stoop that low._ _Hmmm…I could commit treason._ Now there was an idea. I started to think about it more but my name being called out suddenly brought me out of my musings.

"Uzumaki, Naruto." Iruka's voice called. "Haruno, Sakura." I heard a scream of horror come from where Sakura was sitting...only to be replaced by a one of immense joy when Iruka called the final member of our team. "Uchiha Sasuke."

_Oh shit._

I put my head in my hands as if to relieve the sudden bout of stress that was building.

_Gods. Why me? Why_ _now? It's not bad enough that I'm stuck as a shinobi for who knows how long, but now I have to be on his team? I just can't get a break._

As if reading my thoughts, I felt the weight of someone's gaze from behind.

Slowly, I turned my head, as to not make it obvious I was looking and sure enough there was Sasuke looking straight at me as if to gauge my reaction.

I shrugged, seemingly indifferent.

Like I'd give that bastard the satisfaction of knowing just how much his kiss had rattled my composure. I arched an eyebrow at him hoping he got the fact that I wasn't impressed with his attempt at intimidation.

His eyes widened slightly at my action, then narrowed as if _I'd _done something to annoy him. Just as I thought I'd finally won this little game, Sasuke smirked.

_Okay, pretty boy _I thought narrowing my eyes at him, _it's so on. I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into. _

_Bring it on, _his gaze seemed to to say in reply, _if you even have the guts to try..._

Iruka's announcement of the final genin teams interrupted our little glare contest. Afterwards he dismissed us after giving up further directives for the next day.

Walking back the usual route that I took from the academy, I immediately sensed that someone was following me.

Sniffing the wind I picked up the scent.

_Uchiha. _

Growling under my breath, I felt a slight twinge of irritation.

_What the fuck is his deal?_

Deciding to have a little bit of fun on the bastard's behalf I made a clone of myself and had it continue walking the route. The teme was far enough away so he didn't see any of these happenings. I hid in a tree which he would have to pass under if he wanted to continue following 'me.'

Sure enough in his own sneaky, slimy way the Uchiha came creeping past me, slowly but surely.

Mentally, I grinned.

_This was going to be amusing_

As he slowly progressed, I followed him, following what he thought was me. Both of us continuing at this slow pace until we eventually reached 'home sweet home.' The buushin went inside and the Uchiha took a place outside of the window. For a long time he just stood there staring.

It was really kind of disconcerting. After all, you didn't see me following him around like some stalker and staring at him through a window.

All amusement finally fading, I decided to cut to the chase. Dissolving my buushin, the Uchiha's response was almost instantaneous. He backed away so quickly I thought he'd surely trip and fall. Unfortunately I wasn't lucky enough to witness such a spectacle. He backed up, and turned in the opposite direction, scouring the trees as he did so.

The next thing I heard was his voice calling out my name.

"Uzumaki! I know you can hear me! Cut the bullshit and come out of hiding." His voice taking on a taunting tone. "Or are you afraid I'll kick your sorry dobe ass?"

I ignored the attempted barb as his tone of voice intrigued me. I had never heard a male voice quite achieve that octave before. If my senses weren't deceiving me (which they rarely, if ever do), I would say the bastard was nervous, or at least embarrassed.

This was a bit surprising.

The Uchiha usually prided himself on being without emotion. (At least that's what he wanted people to think). So the fact that now he was displaying symptoms of nervousness was almost too funny.

I mean really.

_The bastard is so full of shit, it was almost unreal._

When Sasuke failed to get a response he started leaping from tree to tree to search me out. However, I had masked my chakra. In other words, there is no way in hell he would find me. A top ranked jounin wouldn't even be able to find me at this point. Youkai were very good at masking their chakra and I had learned from the best.

As his search continued I could feel Sasuke's frustration level building until it was so taut I thought he would snap.

Curiosity filled me as this was happening.

_Why is he getting all bent out of shape over not being able to find me? He didn't give two shit or a fart about me or I about him. _

Deciding to end this no-longer-amusing little game I jumped from the tree, cautiously. There was no telling what the Uchiha would do as angry as he was.

When I landed about five feet from where he was currently looking Sasuke's head came up at the sound.

His eyes--dark as they were--darkened even further--until they were the same shade as obsidian.

"There you are." he said softly, his tone full of some kind of challenge. A challenge I had no wish to undertake.

"What do you want bastard." It was more of a statement then a question.

At first he didn't respond, at least not vocally. His eyes, however, slid down from my face and did a leisurely exploration that told me more than words ever could exactly what he wanted. Shock filled me as the enormity of what this bastard dared entered my system.

Somethingwas beginning to happen as he looked continued to look at me as he hadn't eaten a meal in years and I was a prime piece of steak. My vision started to grow hazy and suddenly I felt warm, warmer than I have ever been before. I wanted to...rip his fucking head off!

"Stop looking at me like that!" I snarled at him in rage.

As if he couldn't hear me he continued with his perusal. The warmth that was growing grew to an almost unbearable temperature and the haze started to bleed into red. Instinctively I knew that if I didn't get a handle on whatever this was I would probably end up killing Sasuke.

I had had enough of this game anyway so I turned around and started to walk away--.

Until a pair of pale hands grabbed me by the shoulders and pushed me roughly onto the ground. Before I could react a body fully covered mine along with a pair of lips.

Whatever had just possessed me, left me as quickly as it had appeared. Making it seem as though it had never been there to begin with as soon as his lips touched mine.

My first thought was soft…hot and wet shortly followed. I must have still been in shock because his tongue dove into my mouth with ease. Once there he explored it as if it unchartered territory that needed to be discovered and claimed. It was a possessive kiss and felt as if he was trying to somehow claim me as his.

I had never felt anything like this. To suddenly go from having no one even look at me, to me this intimate contact was a bit overwhelming.

Noticing my lack of response, Sasuke parted my legs with one of his own. He moved one of his hands from its current position on my shoulder and moved it down between my legs. Then he proceeded to massage my cock through my pants.

No longer able to hold still I cursed against his mouth, the bottom half of my body coming up into the air, carrying Sasuke with it.

Heat and desire filled me at the contact and I buried my formerly unresponsive hands into his hair urging his closer. Needing no further encouragement Sasuke continued kissing me, but removed his hand from my cock.

My body mourned the loss of his hand but was soon singing with pleasure again as he put his erection against my own. Then he began grinding against my hips.

I couldn't take any more of this heat or pleasure. I was panting and suddenly felt my body rushing toward a white light. When I reached it I shattered, my cock spraying something wet and sticky within the confines of my pants.

Sasuke must have felt it too because his own pants were wet and sticky. Catching his breath, he reluctantly rolled off of me and stood up.

Dusting dirt and sticks from his clothes, not meeting my eyes as he did so.

After recovering myself, I immediately stood up and looked at him.

"What the fuck was that Uchiha?" I asked quietly well aware that this was very unlike my 'other' self to ask.

The fake me would have hit him.

Hell, I should have hit him.

"What was what?" he said disinterestedly, as if I had asked him a strange question and inspecting his nails as though they required his immediate attention.

"You fucking latching onto me and _touching _me like that! What the fuck made you think you had the right? Gods, I hate humans." That last part was said unintentionally and mumbled under my breath but Sasuke had still heard.

Shit I have to get his mind on something else. I definitely can't have him delving too deeply into that statement.

"What do you mean you hate humans?" he demanded in that superior voice of his, now looking me in the eye. "Do you think you're some kind of god or something? That you're better than everyone else?" Not waiting for my answer his voice was now dripping with condescension. "Aw, poor little Uzumaki, always striving to be the best at everything only to find that he is a failure."

"For being a failure," I replied unemotionally, the familiar cold in place of any kind of warmth filling me, "you sure were eager enough to touch me. And all of your own accord. Isn't that curious?"

As if he hated me for reminding him of what he had done, he glared at me. A nice change in his usual blank face.

It was just as I thought. Uchiha was completely full of shit. He could act as heartless as he wanted. He _felt. _That was now more than evident to me.

"And which one of us thinks that we're better than others?" I continued on, eager for this little encounter to end. "Oh yes that would be the one who thinks that emotions are for weak people. That being cold and distant is the only way to achieve power." I gave him one of my empty smiles. "You are an ignorant fool."

He growled at that and moved forward as if to somehow make me take back my words. But what I showed him next made him stop in his tracks and stare at me in disbelief.

I showed him my real eyes.

Not the eyes of my 'mask' that the world saw and assumed was the real me. These were the eyes that felt nothing, that had seen killing, violence and real evil from an early age and had only experienced them since then. The eyes that sanctimonious people had created by neglect and hate. The eyes that no longer held the ability to feel, any emotion. Whatsoever.

As Sasuke saw these eyes, eyes that no none else had ever been privy to, his eyes widened in shock. For a long moment it didn't seem to register with him that this was Uzumaki Naruto. The failure of Konoha, an orphan who couldn't do anything right.

I sensed his shock and horror as he realized that his pathetic attempt at being unemotional was just that.

_Pathetic._

As he finally came out of his trance, I spoke again.

"If your only goal in life is to be emotionally devoid, going through life without feeling, or even wanting to then you are a bigger fool than I thought. Taking the ability to feel for granted is mankind's biggest mistake, because it is not a curse or weakness. It is a blessing and the loss of such would be the real curse or weakness."

After saying this I turned around and walked away leaving Uchiha standing there.

I walked back into my empty house which in reality matched me…I was as empty as it after all.

I stripped my clothes and washed myself. As I went to throw my pants down I noticed the crusty white stain on my pants and 'flashed back' to what the Uchiha had done to me. In that instant and slightly before I had felt something. I don't know what exactly these particular emotions were but they had definitely been something.

Laying in bed a few minutes later, pulled the covers over me.

_Hey Kyuubi?_

**What gaki?**

_Which emotions were the ones I felt back there?_

It chuckled as I asked the question.

_What is so damned funny you fucking fox?!_

**What you felt, gaki was desire, sexual desire to be exact. And the other was anger.**

_But that's impossible Kyuubi! At least the sexual desire aspect._

**Oh? And why is that?**

_Because I'm only twelve years old! That's not old enough to really feel anything sexual._

**Which standards are you going by?**

_What do you mean?_

**Sigh **

**Gaki you are so smart, but sometimes so stupid. Are you going by human standards or youkai.**

_Well, human I guess._

**There's your problem. In human standards yes you are much too young to even get an erection much less feel sexual desire. But in youkai standards sexual maturity is usually achieved around nine or ten.**

_Gods! Well that certainly explains that. But what about Uchiha, he is not youkai. Explain that._

**Don't get high-and-mighty with me gaki. We're not merged yet I can still punish you. Uchiha is--or will be very soon--a wielder of the sharinghan. You'll remember I told you that kekkai genkai are traits inherited by the youkai. Youkai blood is very strong and remains in the genes for generation, taking a very long time to be 'watered down' so to speak. So its perfectly logical to assume that the Uchiha boy would reach sexual maturity even at such a young age.**

_That still doesn't explain why he launched himself at me. I mean after all its not as though he has that much youkai blood in him._

**Actually it is possible. This new development must mean that the youkai blood in the Uchiha's veins are not as far back as I originally thought. Hmmmm….**

_Hmmmm? What does that mean. He is not an hanyou equivalent like me so what does that make him?_

**The traits the boy demonstrated are very similar to a youkai when it has found its mate. He is definitely not your equal in power but he is about the equal of a ¼ youkai. And he is very possessive of you. Which leads me to believe that he has chosen you as his mate.**

I was sputtering by this point. These new developments were too much to handle.

_I am no one's mate! _I swore vehemently . _Much less some stupid bastard who thinks lack of emotion makes one strong. Besides I can't afford a distraction like this right now. And that still doesn't explain why he is all over me one minute and condescending to me the next._

**It's really not that complicated brat. Right now the Uchiha brat has two separate consciousnesses. The normal human boy and the youkai side of him. Eventually they will merge, just like you and I. However, it won't be as clean as our immersion.**

_Why not?_

**Right after you were born I was sealed inside of you by your coward of a father. **Revulsion filled its voice as it recalled that pitiful excuse of a man. **But the point is I was sealed inside you as a baby. As you grew our chakra became inscrutable from each other's the reason for this being is because your body and mine adapted to our situation. Which is why our immersion will be rather uneventful. The boy's immersion with his youkai will happen when his sharinghan activates for the first time. When this happens the boy will be forced into merging with his youkai half. It won't go smoothly though, because it has not had time to adapt to his body. If the force is too great the boy's mind could be lost forever. If that happens he will basically be a human vegetable and never able to wake again. You need to be there when he does activate his sharinghan to stabilize him. He has already claimed you as his mate. As the time for his own merging draws closer he the urge to put his mark on you for good will get stronger and stronger. You however are under no such compulsion. Being an Inu you have your own choice of mate and cannot be forced. **

_Oh Gods, I groaned. You mean I'm responsible for the bastard's life?_

The fucking fox chuckled again.

**That's right gaki. You are the only one strong enough to keep his mind sane as he merges.**

_Well…I guess there are worse things…I don't know yet if he is even worth saving. Only time will tell._

**Don't tarry too long gaki. Remember even if he is only a fourth youkai he is still youkai. His time is limited the youkai blood is spreading fast. The activation of his sharinghan is imminent.**

**I guess what I'm trying to say is don't take forever to make your choice.**

_I hear you fox. I'll think it over. Good night._

**Goodnight gaki.**

But as I lay there sleeping I thought back to the events of the day. Sighing I tossed and turned, getting very little sleep.

_Save Sasuke or let him die, huh?_

In the morning I still hadn't made my choice

**End of Chapter 3**


	5. Chapter 4 An Unforeseen Complication

**Chapter 4 An Unforeseen Complication**

Early the next morning after waking up I quickly threw some clothes on. I grimaced as I eyed my usual ensemble.

_Stupid fucking fox. I just had to open my big mouth and mention orange._

True my clothes were orange, and an eyesore, but at least they had a little blue on them. Not much, but I hadn't let Kyuubi completely have its way.

_The first thing I'm going to do when I leave this damn village is get some decent clothes._

Glancing at the clock I realized I was going to be late if I didn't get a move on.

_Tell me again why I'm doing this?_

**Because I told you to.**

_One of these days fox, one of these days._

**Yeah, keep ranting gaki, in the meantime you're going to be late.**

Grumpily cursing the day the fates had seen fit to bless me with Kyuubi I brushed my teeth, and made my way to the academy. Today was the today we were to meet our jounin instructors. My _team_ –I winced at the word—were alone together in an empty classroom. Our fearless leader was already running late. Talk about bad first impressions. I was so bored I decided to play a trick on the so-called elite shinobi. I put a chalkboard eraser on top of the door. The eraser was teeming with chalk dust.

This was more than just a prank, however.

It was to test this supposed jounin's reflexes. Of course Sakura—the pink-haired idiot—and Sasuke would both assume I was just playing one of my legendary pranks. As I put the eraser on top of the door Sakura began lecturing me on my behavior.

"Naruto--!" The rest I blocked out I was really in no mood—not that I ever was in the mood-- to hear it. While she was ranting and raving however, Sasuke who had been quiet all morning finally spoke.

"If he really is tricked by your pathetic little prank then he doesn't deserve the rank jounin."

Inwardly I agreed, but I decided not to comment for the simple reason I refused to concede on anything he said. Mostly due to yesterday's circumstances. Sakura continued to bitch about the possible trouble I could get in. I observed her, I'm sure, like some strange creature. But really, how was it possible that someone who got the top grades in our class could act like such a brainless little twit. Speaking of twits…

I glanced sideways at Sasuke expecting him to be sulking in the corner like he always was. Surprisingly enough he was staring….

At me.

Well let him stare all he wanted. There is no way I was playing this little game anymore. As I sat there pondering far more important subjects, the door to the room started to open.

I turned my gaze, my attention drawn by the noise. A noise that a normal human ear couldn't have picked up. But we all know I'm not human. I was the first one to lay eyes on him, our cell commander. I think Iruka said his name was Hatake, Kakashi. As he walked in I got a quick look at him…before the eraser fell on top of his head. Only I knew it hadn't been because his reflexes weren't amazing. He'd deliberately let it hit him on the head. It was that or stop looking at me.

As soon as he'd entered the room his eye had met mine. I say eye because one of them was covered with a mask. In fact his whole face was covered by a mask. Only one eye was visible. It was silver, and reminded me of a wolf's eyes. His gaze remained on me until a body place itself directly in front of it, ending the trance he'd seemed to be in.

"Sensei I presume?" Sasuke's usual arrogant voice laced heavily with sarcasm filled the now-quiet room.

Blinking his eye as if just waking up, Kakashi's one visible eye did a quick sweep of Sasuke and visibly dismissed him as insignificant did the same to Sakura, but when he got to me the inspection slowed and his eyes grew to molten silver.

I was getting a little annoyed at this constant perusal of my person. _Gods the man is practically molesting_ _me with his eyes! _I decided to annoy the man into action so that he would get on with his 'teaching.' So with my usual loudmouth enthusiasm I yelled.

"Hey sensei! Got you good with that eraser didn't I? Are you gonna teach us how to kick butt?" Inwardly I groaned at having to make myself appear stupid to him. But it was necessary. I couldn't very well have him guessing about me now could I?

Evidently my little ruse worked, his eye clouded in disappointment at my obvious idiocy and he dismissed me as he had the other two. After a while he finally decided to grace us with the honor of hearing his voice.

"My name is Hatake, Kakashi. I will be your squad leader for your next block of training." His voice was deep, but had a silvery quality to it. A prickle of unease went down my spine. I would have to be careful around this man. When he'd first come in his aura had been fine as normal as anyone else's. But now I sensed an undercurrent of potential danger surrounding his aura. Yes I would have to be very careful. "Now if you would all follow me we're going to go somewhere a little more comfortable."

His idea of 'more comfortable' was a same place I liked to go sometimes. An overlook of Konoha.

I didn't come here of course to enjoy the view. It was just a quiet place that few people knew of. The village itself—to me anyway—is an eyesore.

Having us all take a seat Kakashi asked us to tell a little bit about ourselves. Sakura stared first talking about her dream…then trailing off…talking about what she liked…then trailing off. But the fact that she looked at Sasuke every time she trailed off lead me to little doubt what she wanted her future to hold.

I rolled my eyes.

"What I dislike...Naruto!" she finished her enthralling biography emphatically expelling her hatred of me. I couldn't have more relieved.

_Gods she doesn't even comprehend exactly how mutual the feeling is._

Sasuke started his turn with a little tale about how his only goals were to revive his clan and kill a certain man. Which of who I already knew.

Suddenly, though, it was my turn. Kakashi looked at me expectedly.

"Well my name is Uzumaki, Naruto! I love ramen and I plan to become the next Hokage! So that everyone in the village will have to stop disrespecting me and look up to me!"

I could tell Kakashi was surprised by my little charade. Yeah and let him keep on thinking that. I'd almost choked as I'd uttered the words. Be Hokage? Yeah right! I'd decided to stick with it. It seemed like a perfect cover to what my real purpose.

Kakashi stood up after I'd finished and told us that tomorrow we'd begin training. The instructions were to come to a well-known spot in the forest and not to eat breakfast. I rolled my eyes. I could already see what his ploy was. As Kakashi released us and I turned to go his voice stopped me.

"Naruto." I turned around and looked at him with my usual clueless, blank look. "I need to talk with you for a moment."

Almost groaning out loud I followed him. Then he took off running. I guess actually expecting me to follow. I shrugged, I really had nothing better to do. I followed, but at a leisurely pace, not wanting to give away any of my talents. In truth I could have more than caught up with him.

Eventually he stopped, our current position was an embankment near the river. I looked at him with a confused face.

"What did you want to talk about sensei?" I asked seemingly clueless.

Kakashi just looked at me, his one visible silver eye gleaming.

I didn't like the looks of this.

Kakashi brought his hand up to his mask and rolled it down….down until I could see all of his face.

I have to say he is _hot_. His eyes were mismatched, one was silver and unblemished, and the other was the sharinghan eye. The proof of this was the crimson iris with three small black pinwheels. There was also a scar above the sharinghan and below it as if it was not his natural eye, which I knew was not. The rest of his face looked as though it had been sculpted by the gods. His name meant scarecrow but not one bit of him looked _thin _at all. He was definitely in good shape. But there was no mistaking what that gleam in his eye spoke of. I knew I had to get away before things went way too far as they had yesterday with Sasuke.

Thinking of a way to get away without using youkai strength I didn't notice that Kaskashi had crept up on me until he was scant centimeters away from me. I backed away but he followed me until my ability to move was blocked by a tree. His arm came up on either side of my head.

I decided to try naiveté, knowing that was my only hope.

"What are you doing sensei?" Pouring what I hoped was innocence into my question.

"Cut the crap Naruto." He purred into my ear. "I know."

And just like that I became _me._

Well honestly, there was no point in hiding what I was if he already knew. I knew it was a dramatic change. I'd practiced it in the mirror while perfecting my other self's image.

Intelligence filled my eyes, the usual dumbass smile that graced me mouth turned into flat line. That was really the only main difference. I just didn't look like an idiot anymore. It was dramatic though, in its own way.

I guess Kakashi wasn't expecting such a change because his eyes were once again filled with surprise.

"Well now you know." I told him in a cold tone. "Now that you've had your fun I am going to leave."

Attempts to duck under his arms and leave were blocked by him wrapping his arms around my waist and dragging me to the ground, his weight more than effective at keeping me pinned this time.

"Kakashi." I warned. "You really want to get off of me right now."

He just smirked.

"I do? But why? Especially when you're in such an interesting position." He whispered this in my ear. Despite myself I shivered, it felt good and my ears had always been extra sensitive.

Taking that as encouragement he took my earlobe in between his teeth and bit down.

I involuntarily moaned at the contact. That seemed to motivate him even further. He abandoned my ear and went directly to my mouth. Not wasting any time by persuading me to open he just dove in and took what he wanted. Evidently what he wanted was an exploration because that is exactly what he conducted. I swear every crevice in my mouth was touched by that man.

"I knew you'd look like him…." I heard Kakashi murmur against my mouth "Minato…."

Hearing that name hit me like a cold splash of water. Adrenaline must have given me extra strength because I shoved him off of me without using any youkai adages.

Nothing remaining from the slight warmth of just a moment ago…nothing but the usual cold empty void.

"Kakashi." He looked up me confused by the sudden coolness of my tone. He had not yet fully recovered from before. "If you ever touch me again I will kill you." He paled slightly at those words. "I realize what you are trying to do, but I am not my father. Nor would I ever wish to be like him. I don't know about the man you knew, but the man known as Namikaze Minato, was very different from what this Gods-forsaken village thinks of him. I realize that for some reason you miss him. That is fine, but don't mistake me for him _ever_ again. We are nothing alike."

When I was finished I walked off…leaving Kakashi staring after me with actual shock displayed on his almost-perfect face.

I shook my head as I walked away.

What is it with the males in this village? Either they hate my guts or want to jump on me the first chance they get. It really was puzzling. And I had to attract the crazy ones. First Sasuke with his psychotic childhood and now Kakashi with his obsession with my father.

_Hmmmm, at least they're both hot._

Immediately I dismissed that particular thought from my head. Neither one was for me.

_Not even Sasuke? _A voice that was not Kyuubi's whispered. W_hat about him? Are you going to leave him to his fate and let him die?_

I ignored that voice. I could not afford to think about Sasuke right now.

_He is a distraction that I cannot_ _afford right now._

But Kakashi's obvious fixation with my father did make for an interesting ponder. So I decided to ask the one being who would know for certain.

_Hey Kyuubi?_

**What gaki?**

_What is the relationship between my father--_this I said with distaste—_and Hatake, Kakashi? _

**Wow I haven't thought about that in ages. Well…where to start…Hatake, Kakashi loved your father…maybe love is too weak a word. Worshiped the ground he walked on would be more accurate. Anyway, when your father died he was devastated. For years he has been a recluse, not talking to anyone at all just carrying out the most dangerous missions. Now what may I ask brought this about?**

The reason Kyuubi was asking about this is because during the day it was asleep. In fact, even if it had been awake it would have stayed in its part of my body. So it was not present for Kakashi's little episode. So I explained what happened.

**Ah, I see now, you look almost exactly like your father—a fact that sometimes I'd like to forget—and he must have taken a trip down memory lane when he saw you. **

_So what should I do?_

**I wouldn't do anything. Don't forget that Kakashi is—its lips 'curled' into a sarcastic sneer—a professional shinobi. He will act as though the whole thing never happened. But I should warn you it will probably happen again.**

_But why would it? I explained the fact that I am not my father to him._

**Sometimes I forget how young you are. Yes, now Kakashi will have taken the proper precautions and knows that you are not your father. But he has seen the side of you that we have both worked so hard to keep hidden from everyone. Eventually he will come to see you as your own person and will fall in love with you based on that.**

_What? _I asked dully. _Why?_

It actually had the audacity to chuckle. **Don't forget brat my powers are almost limitless. A little thing like precognition is not above me.**

I knew Kyuubi would never lie or coddle me. _Great so now I have two crazy people to worry about. I was hoping Kakashi would no longer be a problem._

**Sorry to disappoint you gaki. **Amusement was still more-than-present in its voice. **You think you would be happy with two males filled with such potential.**

_Well sorry to disappoint you, you damn fox, but happiness is not something I have any concept of! Much less, about this whole situation!_

Its voice took on a serious note now. **I know, gaki, I know.**

Suddenly I felt tired, this day's events were finally taking a toll on me, mentally.

It was convenient too, considering I had just approached my 'home.'

**Get some sleep gaki, we can talk about this tomorrow.**

_Yeah…I know._

_Goodnight._

**Goodnight.**


	6. Chapter 5 One Day

**Chapter 5 One Day**

As I walked to the location that Kakashi had told us to meet him, the next morning I contemplated the reasoning behind why I had not only been hit on once, but twice and by two men! Knowing that Kyuubi would no longer be any help on this subject I was left to my own intellectual ability to decipher this particular conundrum.

Besides, at this point Kyuubi would only laugh at me, and ask me if I was so smart wouldn't I be able to figure it out myself? That goddamn fox could only be counted on when I didn't really need it.

Inwardly I shrugged.

The fox was right, one day it wouldn't be here, I needed to quit relying on it for everything. Some things I needed to figure out for myself.

I do know one thing at least. I am apparently gay. It doesn't bother my 'moral sensibilities' at all. That would require one to have moral sensibilities. The only thing that saved these mortals from me taking their lives was the fact that I have retained some youkai abilities…and the fact that killing them would take a bit of time and energy. All I care about is trying to bring youkai out of hiding—or at least out of hiding from me—so I can better protect them.

I had been so buried in my thoughts that I had overlooked the fact that I had arrived at the 'meeting spot.'

Looking around I realized that Sakura, the Pink-haired blob—as I not so affectionately referred to her, secretly—and oh-so-perfect Sasuke had not yet arrived. Great, now I would have to hide to ensure that I maintained my 'mask.'

After all it would be shocking for Uzumaki Naruto to arrive on time.

Hiding in nearby brush I waited for the two to arrive, not surprised to see them arriving together. By together, I meant of course, Sasuke walking and Sakura clinging on him like there was no tomorrow.

As I observed them I checked my watch…yeah about five more minutes should do it…

_Five minutes later…_

As I walked up to Sasuke and Sakura—seemingly from where they had come from—there were looks of impatience on both of their faces.

Both looks directed at me, of course.

I smirked inwardly.

"Sorry I'm late guys…" I apologized, scratching my head as if the fact I was late had just now occurred to me. "Uh…where's Sensei?"

I knew that Kakashi had arrived shortly after I had hidden. He hadn't known that though. I was very _good_ at hiding my chakra signature. He hadn't noticed my immersion from the shrub either. Hmmmphh! So much for elite.

However the fact that Kakashi was late had just occurred to the other two, their irritation at me was forgotten. For the moment anyway.

"So much for an elite jounin shinobi!" Sakura was currently mumbling. "He can't even be on time. So much for setting an example to young impressionable genin." I just rolled my eyes, typical Sakura answer.

Sasuke just gave his usual enthusiastic grunt…leaving the rest for us lesser mortals to have the wondrous privilege of translating.

These two idiots didn't know that the entire time Kakashi was gauging their reactions.

Damn… I keep forgetting that I'm dealing with two chibis who are still novices. Novices, who have yet to see or make their first kill. Novices to whom the notion _kill _has not even occurred to. They would have to find out. And it wouldn't be too far from now.

Apparently at one point Kakashi must have gotten tired of Sakura's complaining, Sasuke's sulking, and my standing around looking like an idiot, because he chose to appear about a few minutes after we arrived.

Sensing that Sakura was about to go into one of her self-righteous speeches I joined her just to make it appear to Kakashi that I was not traumatized by his earlier stunt. Indeed not, my mask was at its usual enormously idiotic proportions.

"Kakashi-sensei!" we both yelled simultaneously. "You are late!"

Having a mask of his own on—the happy-go-lucky one—he got a sheepish look in his eyes and rubbed his head absently.

"Sorry guys." He apologized seemingly without guile. "I overslept my alarm an--."

"Save it!" Sakura and I interrupted. Luckily Sakura's thoughts were easily read so it was easy to follow along with her.

It was actually kind of surprising that her thoughts were so easily read. Because Sakura was so weak-willed she had an entity in her mind that she called 'inner Sakura.' This in itself should have prevented her thoughts from being broadcasted like they were. I know she knew it existed. My theory was that she hadn't allowed the entity any reign over her mind. When it came to genjutsu she would be at a definite advantage… if she ever got control of it…however, at the current situation she was at a major disadvantage.

Deciding to cut the bullshit Kakashi apparently had enough of his fake excuse and got on with the 'mission' of our training.

Pulling out two bells he made them ring.

I rolled my eyes inwardly. Not this old trick. The Third and Fourth Hokage had used this teamwork technique while training their teams. Kakashi went on to explain the details of this training to the other two who weren't as well-informed as me.

"The task is this, the first two to take these bells from me get those lunches," pointing to a post and two rocks were two boxed lunches," the loser will be tied up and forced to watch the other two eat."

"So that's why he didn't have us eat lunch!" said the ever-brilliant Sakura who had been the last one to reach the conclusion." She pointed accusingly at Kakashi "You had this planned all along!"

Kakashi scratched his head at her accusation.

"Well, yeah that was the idea." He stated calmly. "Anyway let's begin…now!"

He took out a book after he'd said to begin. Sakura went slack-jawed and stared at Kakashi like he belonged in a zoo.

"What are you doing?!" she screamed in outrage.

Kakashi didn't even look up.

"I won't even have to take my eyes from my book to defend myself from you." He still hadn't looked up. "Go ahead and begin."

Sasuke had already hidden, waiting until me and Sakura had bungled it up to make his move.

Sakura clumsily hid behind a tree…just observing for now.

Me, I just stood there, already knowing these two didn't get the intent of the exercise. I had already decided I would intentionally lose, I don't need food to survive anyway.

I attacked Kakashi clumsily from the back, and went sailing into the nearby river.

My mask yelled.

"I'm gonna be the future Hokage!" I can't lose!"

Making the signs for the Kage buushin no jutsu, one of the so-called forbidden jutsus for Konoha, I attacked again.

Kakashi seemed mildly impressed that I managed this, but said nothing as he popped all of my doppelgangers. He still saw right through the real me coming for his back and decided to counterattack using a perverted countermeasure. A 'technique' he'd learned from the Fourth.

"A Thousand Years of Death!" he yelled. Turning around to face my rear end he shoved his index finger up my ass.

For the sake of my cover I screamed in pain as I went flying back into the river. Inside I was irritated. That fucking pervert did not know when to take the word no for an answer. He'd done that on purpose just to show me that he didn't care I'd told him to leave me alone. He was going to keep pursuing me.

Even if he hadn't put it to words his actions had said it all.

Well he would find out soon enough what would happen if he continued with his little game.

Sakura, in the mean time, had fallen prey to a genjutsu of Sasuke being stabbed by kunai, and promptly fainted.

Sasuke was still biding his time.

I was tied up, literally. The reason being because I was tired of trying to make those other two morons see the point of the exercise. So I decided to end any chances of my success by going for the two boxed lunches directly. Kakashi then tied me up, a disgusting look in his eyes as he did so. Gods, that man really was nothing but a lecherous pervert, I could see the nasty images he had in his mind. My youkai half may have enjoyed them, but my human half was repulsed.

When Kakashi had finished his little game of tying me up he went back in the middle of the grassy field he'd started in and picked up his book where he'd left it.

It was then that Sasuke decided to attack.

I watched the fight with disinterest. It would be over soon enough. Kakashi had the obvious advantage over him. Sasuke wasn't half-bad though, Kakashi had to put his book down in order to fight him.

In fact Kakashi was shocked at the bastard's fireball jutsu, he thought that a shinobi of genin level should not be able to use a technique that required that much chakra development.

Sasuke's little tirade was brought to an end, though, when Kakashi attacked from under the ground and yanked him down to his head into the dirt.

Sakura by this time, had recovered from the first genjutsu, but saw Sasuke's head in the dirt and fainted again.

As Kakashi walked away from him I heard him impart words that were meant for Sasuke's ears alone.

"I will admit, you were right about one thing…you are not like the other two."

When everyone was gathered around the tied-up me, recovered from their earlier bouts of humiliating defeat Kakashi decided to reveal his true purpose of the exercise.

"The true purpose of this exercise was to test your teamwork…" Sakura and Sasuke looked up at him expectantly. "Naruto, you attacked blindly without thinking."

"Yeah, Naruto!" she screamed at me. "What were you thinking?!"

Then he turned to Sakura.

"Sakura, you were so wrapped up with thoughts of Sasuke that you didn't even think about helping Naruto. And you weren't even able to help Sasuke in the end" She had the decency to at least act chastised, and looked down in apparent shame.

Lastly, he turned to Sasuke.

"You, Sasuke….you are the worst. You thought that you were so much better than the other two that you gave no thought to helping either. In fact waiting for them both to fail so that you would have the perfect chance to attack me, when I was apparently occupied." Sasuke just glared back at him and refused to answer.

Kakashi sighed.

"I will give you all one more chance…with the condition that you don't give Naruto any food. He cheated." He said this in an overly dramatic voice. "If you disobey and give him food then you will all go back to the academy and never advance."

He seemingly disappeared. Even I had to admit he was above average in the stealth department. It easy to see why he'd made it in the ANBU.

Sakura and Sasuke ignored me and ate their food. I knew that unless I helped these two idiots they would never get it.

Making my stomach growl, even though I wasn't hungry, made the two of them look up.

Sakura looked expectantly at Sasuke.

Sasuke just gave me an irritated look.

"I'm not hungry anyway." Was all he said. And left the plate on the rock where he'd been sitting.

Sakura, finally realizing I was tied up and couldn't reach for the bastard's plate, followed his example, but in a different way.

She walked up to me with a disgusted look on her face.

"Naruto I am going to feed you, this will only happen once and it's only because you are tied up."

_Like I want you to come near me at all, you disgusting creature, _I thought. But if it meant the end of this stupid exercise I was willing to suck it up once. Beside my cover didn't have that much pride to lose.

"Thanks Sakura!" I managed to choke out in a semi-grateful tone. This satisfied her because after I thanked her she began cramming food down my throat. Luckily this torture was ended a few seconds later.

Kakashi decided to arrive in his usual overly dramatic way…in this case it was a funnel of grey smoke.

"How dare you!" He screamed. "You….You…!" The look of horror on Sakura's face was amusing to say the least.

"You…Pass!!"

Kakashi's eyes beamed at us as he yelled this.

Even Sasuke looked confused at his announcement.

"What do you mean we pass." He demanded.

Kakashi ignored Sasuke's demands and explained.

"You passed because even though the rule was to not help your teammate, you did it anyway. Yes, you broke the rules, but a shinobi who abandons his friends is even more despicable." He spoke in such a grave, serious tone, that I knew this was the real Kakashi talking, the one who had known pain and loss…and to me that made him a little less despicable. Then the, usual monotonous, lazy tone I was beginning to know well took over again. "Tomorrow we will begin your real training. Meet me at the overlook tomorrow and we'll begin."

And without further ado he left.

Sasuke left soon after.

Sakura looked dazed as she left slowly, I wanted to kill her, she took so long to fucking leave.

Finally seeing the coast was clear I utilized my claws that were convenient and retractable and sliced through the rope. I could have escaped at any time. But those two would have never have gotten the point if I had just gotten lose and continued.

_And it only took all day for them to realize it, _I thought sarcastically. Unusually tired, I too, turned to leave…only to come face to face with Kakashi.

Seeing no need to act like an idiot in front of him privately any longer I immediately demanded.

"What do you want?"

He didn't say anything for the longest time…just stared at me as if trying to figure something out.

_Okay…I officially don't have time for this. _I left, brushing by him as I walked past him.

At least that was my plan until he grabbed my arm and yanked me around to face him.

I allowed him to bring his face nose to nose with mine.

"Why did you help them?" he whispered curiously "You had no reason to help them…yet you did."

"It doesn't concern you," I answered him coldly, "I don't owe you anything. The only thing I have to say to you is…Let. Me. Go."

Of course he didn't.

Really the man would have to start listening to a perfectly good warnings.

Or he would get hurt.

Instead of letting go he brought both of his hands up to my shoulders.

He didn't try to kiss me…just observed my features as if trying to memorize them.

"You look so much like him…" he whispered softly "Yet there is nothing of him in you."

It did impress me a little that he had grasped this concept in so little time. This was the only reason I had not attacked him…yet.

But I could only stand to be touched for so long.

"I will warn you one more time." I told him. "Take your hands off of me right now."

This time he did, but before he did he whispered something in my ear.

"This time I will listen to you." He said silkily "But next time I won't. My intent is to learn everything about you…Uzumaki Naruto. In time you will be mine." Before he drew away he licked my ear and said. "In every way."

Giving me one last predatory glance he disappeared, at least to the human eye.

A shiver made its way down my spine even after he was gone. I didn't want him…but…the youkai part of me welcomed his advances…as if it enjoyed his forceful embraces and threats. I would have to be on my guard from now on.

I was so engrossed in my thoughts I had forgotten to scan for other chakra signatures, and hadn't done so since Kakashi had approached me.

Sasuke had been close the entire time.

Or at least was near now.

Close enough to see how near Kakashi's face had been to my own.

_Oh gods_, I sighed, wearily. His aura was filled with the colors of jealousy and anger.

Neither of which he had any right to feel.

When I felt him approach I prepared myself to be grabbed again…resigned to the fact that tonight was evidently the night for people invading my personal space.

Sure enough, Sasuke proved true to theory. He grabbed me in a threatening manner though, completely different from Kakashi's embrace, which had been one trying to seduce rather than to force.

Sasuke spoke, his voice full of suppressed rage and jealousy.

"Why were you letting him hold you like that?!" he growled. "How dare you let him hold you like that!" His fist connected with my face."

I didn't make a sound, or try to fight back as he continued to punch me. I knew that if I made a sound this would just encourage him…as it did during of my routine beatings.

Strangely enough it was silent out, except for the sound of fists and feet pounding into flesh.

When he was finally finished I had three broken ribs, and I knew my face was bruised beyond recognition. I had been beaten enough times to know the extent of my injuries. This was not anywhere near the worst I have ever had.

I stood up after I'd surveyed the damage.

"Are you sure you're done?"

At my unemotional tone, Sasuke's angry face took on a look of confusion.

I decided to goad him on a little more.

It would make this confusing night a little easier to figure out. After all, beatings and pain were things I was more than familiar with.

"Is that really all you can do?" I openly scoffed. "You really are weak."

He just stood there, frozen like a popsicle.

This really wouldn't do at all…I would have to make him really angry. I was going to have to push him over the edge. Only one thing could do that.

"No wonder your brother left you alive. You were too pathetic to kill."

A maniacal look filled his eyes and in a scream of outrage he attacked me with all the pent-up fury…re-living that event in his life.

He kicked me, punched me, slammed me against a nearby tree repeatedly.

I was still once more, not uttering a sound, not moving.

By the time he was finished he was panting as though he'd just run a marathon. Suddenly he froze, and surveyed his handy work. Shock filling his good-looking face as he'd just woken up from a dream.

He backed away from me slowly, seemingly horrified at what he had done. His conscience –the one whose existence he'd always tried to ignore--hitting him full force.

"Why did you stop?" I looked up at him, still fully aware, despite my very swollen face. Then I laughed at him, which isn't easy when your mouth feels like the size of a watermelon. "You really are weak."

My ploy at pushing him over the edge again failed. He still looked up at me, horror being the only emotion evident on his face. Finally he managed to choke out.

"Why? Why didn't you stop me?"

I sneered at him. (Or at least attempted to).

"Why? Well why not?"

He backed away from me, and then ran away all together.

I just shook my head at his retreating form and stood up and started liming back the way I'd came this morning. _Of course this morning I wasn't limping, _I _thought, irony is such a bitch._

The night had started out with such promise too. I looked up at the moon as limped along.

_One day,_ I promised myself, _One day this empty existence will end and I will finally be a whole being. One day._

**End of Chapter 5.**

_To anyone reading this fic: Just thought I'd let ya'll know that even though I do have the fic under Sasuke/Naruto that may be changing sometime in the future. Hope you all are enjoying contradiction-free "If Only You Knew." I had to take out the part about him liking pain, I guess it was too much for some readers. Oh well, I'll stir up enough controversy once I begin updates again, which of course will be sooner than I thought considering I only have four more chapter to reconstruct. Which reminds me. The lemon needs work as well. **Sigh** my work is never done. Thanks for reading and stay tuned I will be updating once I finish reconstruction. _

_Until then,_

_narugal101_


	7. Chapter 6 Unsettling Situations

**Chapter Six Unsettling Situations**

The next few weeks went by like a blur. We trained, but on basic things I already knew. It was, for the most part, quite boring.

Of course 'I' couldn't let on that I already knew them. That would raise too many eyebrows.

Sasuke ignored me like the plague and made no more assaults on my person. Sakura too, ignored my presence, this I thanked the gods for. The last thing I needed was for her to start talking or communicating with me in any way that could possible cause brain cell destruction.

Kakashi…he had also made no further attempts to molest me…but sometimes I would see him staring at me, with a look I did not wish and was unwilling to decipher.

Needless to say, I was on my guard at all times. If he made a move, I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't resist. My youkai half welcomed his advances that much.

Hence the reason I was prepared. If he tried anything I would suppress my youkai half and promptly kick his ass.

It was about the fifth week that we had officially become a 'team' that Kakashi announced we would begin taking on missions. That in fact, he had already accepted some imbecile-like mission to rescue someone-or-other's cat.

Sakura complained as usual, then looked up at Sasuke to gauge his reaction.

He just shrugged.

Knowing that if 'I' didn't respond if would arouse their suspicion I made sure to protest.

"You've gotta be kidding me! Find a cat?! That is the most insulting mission we could have gotten!"

Sakura made sure to properly chastise me and then went back to her usual bout of basking in Uchiha's shadow.

So the 'mission' went on as planned, and unfortunately there were many that followed it…from pulling weeds from someone's garden…to picking up trash in the river…I intentionally screwed up of course. After all it would never do for Uzumaki the failure to do anything right.

Eventually I had had enough of these stupid insulting missions. For me to even be present for them was not only insulting to me but to Kyuubi as well.

One day while we were at headquarters to be assigned yet another spectacular mission, I made my displeasure known…in my usual fashion.

"I am so tired of these stupid loser missions! I am a ninja now and I want a ninja mission!"

Kakashi looked up at this, so did the Third Hokage, of which whose responsibility it was to assign these missions.

Kakashi dutifully hissed at me.

"Be quiet!"

Sakura said the same. Sasuke just murmured.

"He does have a point, idiot that he his."

The Third, just mock glared at me and looked expectantly at Kakashi. Kakashi in turn, sighed, ran a hand through his silver hair, and said.

"All three of you are just genin. You are not yet at a level high enough to do any missions of any importance. Just be patient and suck it up. Your time will come."

That wasn't good enough for me.

"Forget that! I'm ready for dangerous mission! Something to test my great ninja skills!"

The Third really laughed at that. I just glared at him. Finally getting serious again he said.

"So you think you're ready for a higher ranking mission huh? Well…we'll let you try a C-ranked mission and see how you do. How about it Naruto? Think you can handle that?"

_Oh well, _I thought, _it's better than nothing. _

Like the imbecile my cover was I answered.

"Yeah that's more like it!"

The Third had all three of us wait outside while he explained the details to Kakashi and then called us back in.

After he'd called us back in, the Hokage called in an older man with a gray beard and hair, wearing spectacles, he was also quite rotund.

"This," Said the Third, "is your mission. Or more importantly protecting him is your mission. You will escort this man to the Land of Waves. That is all."

"Wait a second!" the man suddenly spoke in a worried tone. "You're not saying that this blonde-haired shrimp is supposed to be protecting me? He looks like he should be protected himself!"

Knowing inwardly that the fool's barb was harmless, the me everyone else knew would not let such a remark go unchecked.

"What do you mean shrimp?!" I started towards the man as if to physically harm him. "Why I oughta--."

Kakashi physically restrained me, but whispered in my ear.

"Thanks for giving me an excuse to touch you. I'm supposed to be lecturing you on attacking the client. But we both know its all for show."

Ignoring my youkai side's purr of contentment, I pulled out of his hold before he caught on and did something to blow my composure.

Looking properly chastised I went to sit by Sasuke and Sakura.

Sasuke was looking at me and glaring. The look said it all. **How could you let him touch what is mine? **

Evidently the beating he'd given me weeks before was forgotten once he got jealous again. And I was especially amused by how he had the audacity to establish a claim on me when he kept acting as though nothing had happened.

Shaking my head, I brought myself back to the present moment. And at the present, we were about to depart on our mission.

Leaving from the gates of Konoha, we had to walk. The reason being due to our client. Whose named I had learned was Tazuna. Tazuna loved to talk. This became evident as Kakashi who would ask him a question now and then had no need to continue the conversation. Tazuna could hold a conversation for ten people.

I learned that he was trying to build a bridge connecting his land to another to increase trade. The reason he required protection was because a man named Gato was attempting to kill him in hopes that the construction of the bridge would discontinue and the morale would stay low and despair would remain. This bridge, Tazuna went on to explain, was meant to inspire hope in his people. Gato was an extremely rich business man, who built his empire on the blood of other people and relied on other people to carry out his dirty work.

Well, I might not particularly care about Tazuna's welfare, but I could appreciate the depth of his emotion when it came to how much he cared about the welfare of his people. That type of emotion was the type I always wished I could feel.

As Tazuna carried on his one-way conversation, I immediately sensed two shinobi approaching. Both were of the chunin level and relatively weak. _ Might as well leave it to Kakashi and Sasuke. Jumping in wouldn't do any good except raise too many unwanted questions._

As the two approached I acted scared and stayed rooted to the spot as if in shock.

Kakashi was busy protecting Tazuna and he too, left it to Sasuke. He too, knew that Sasuke could handle them. In the struggle one of their weapons I knew were tipped with poison hit lashed me on the top of my hand.

I shrugged, I knew my youkai blood was immune to human poisons. It wouldn't affect me.

Sasuke walked up to me when it had passed.

"You're not hurt are you? Fraidy cat."

When Sasuke failed to get a rise out me he "hned," put his hand in his pockets and walked off, I assume, to a corner to sulk.

Sakura was gushing on and on about how cool Sasuke was after the little ordeal had ended. Kakashi actually complimented him…which was received with an arrogant nod of the head.

Deciding that Sasuke's time of praise had passed, Kakashi turned his attention to me. I could sense this was the opportunity he had been looking for and I knew that I needed a distraction to divert him.

Kakashi took my hand and cradled it between his own.

"Naruto." He said in a worried voice (yeah right) "Those blades were tipped in poison. You need a fresh flow of blood to dissuade it."

"Oh no!" Sakura wailed, panicking easily as she always had. "We've got to get Naruto to a hospital. I really think we should head back to the village!"

"No need for that." Kakashi replied easily. "You two go ahead. I'll stay here with Nar--."

As Kakashi had been talking I had taken my kunai knife and stuck it in the wound. Seeing as how the poison wasn't affecting me anyway I wanted to destroy any hopes Kakashi had that would end up alone together, and put Sasuke in his place.

"I vow that I will never back down, never! I will not lose to Sasuke, this pledge I make with this kunai knife!"

When I'd finished my little speech, I saw Kakashi's shoulders drop in disappointment. He didn't let me escape unscathed.

"Naruto that was really cool how you cut yourself to get rid of the poison…but if we don't take care of that wound…you're going to die."

His eyes tipped up in amusement as he said this. I was far from amused. That bastard! He still had an excuse to get me alone.

Of course my 'mask' started to throw a fit at the thought of dying.

"Oh no! I'm too young to die.! Oh no!"

Telling the others to go on ahead he gave them some insipid excuse that he was going to make sure my wound was properly bound.

_Shit! I have to admit the bastard is good. He's always a step ahead of me. At least when it comes to perverted assignations. _

After the others were well out of our site he made his move. Backing me into a nearby tree, his hands immediately imprisoned mine, effectively pinning me. Kyuubi had forbidden me from using youkai powers to hurt humans who weren't physically harming me.

_How about physically disturbing me?! _I begged it silently.

Kyuubi woke up, not happy with my having awoken it from its sleep.

**Sorry, you'll just have to figure out a way to get away from him without youkai strength. Don't wake me up again. You know I won't always be here to help you out of these predicaments! You have to learn to fend for yourself.**

Kakashi, meanwhile wasn't giving me a chance to think. Before I could respond to Kyuubi, his mouth immediately sought mine and his tongue parted my lips without any hesitation. There was no time for my protestation. He conducted a slow and thorough exploration that made all of the blood in my head go south, effectively ending my plea with Kyuubi, but I did hear it chuckle as it faded back into the recesses of my mind, I assume to go back to sleep.

Kakashi smiled against my mouth when he brought his body up against mine and felt my arousal.

"I knew you weren't as immune to me as you pretended." He murmured against my lips. "And now I'll prove to you just how much you want me" The mere arrogance in his tone was astonishing, astoundingly so, and brought me enough out of my reverie to push him away, without youkai strength. Kakashi was so convinced of his appeal to me that he wasn't expecting this development.

As I pushed him away I used youkai speed to flee.

Hey Kyuubi had said I couldn't use youkai power on him directly. It hadn't said anything about using it to run away.

When I was close to the others' location I slowed down to human speed and burst into the area that had been chosen for the night's camp site.

Sakura and Tazuna looked at me curiously.

"Where is Kakashi sensei?" Sakura asked.

"He said something about clearing our trail to prevent any other shinobi from following, or something like that." I replied nonchalantly, shrugging my shoulders for further effect. "He should be back any moment."

Sasuke just glared at me. I knew then that he knew all too well what had happened.

I just glared back at him, daring him to say something. It's not like the others would believe him if he told them anyway. And if there was anything the Uchiha hated it was to look like a fool.

In the end, he got up and headed towards one of the three tents that had been set up, anger evident in every line of his body. He threw the flap disgustedly, as if it had done him personal injury, and went in.

Silence filled the camp at his action.

"What's wrong with Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked in a genuinely puzzled voice.

"I think the stick that is shoved up his ass is wedge in there further than usual." I couldn't help it, she had put it out there and I was just responding in kind.

I got hit over the head by Sakura for saying so. I almost instinctively hit her back, out of reflex. Then I reminded myself that simple-minded creatures can't control the way they act.

Kakashi chose that moment to come back. If he was angry his expression gave away nothing. At least to the others.

When his gaze landed on me, it was filled with promise. _**This isn't over.**_ It said.

I didn't respond, I kept my answering glance stupidly blank, as per the usual.

We all had dinner not long afterward.

Sasuke, had surprisingly, graced us all with his presence. I imagine he thought once we had become accustomed to it that it was like an addiction. And if we didn't have consistent exposure to it we would go into withdrawal.

It was after dinner that Kakashi announced the sleeping arrangements.

"Naruto and I will be sharing a tent, Sasuke and Tazuna the other, and Sakura you get the third all for yourself."

"Sensei." Sasuke piped up. "I think Naruto ought to be in a tent with me, seeing as how he evidently requires my protection.

I gave Sasuke a sidelong glance at that announcement. No one else caught it, but I saw a flash of excitement in his eyes, before he quickly suppressed it.

Kakashi of course, could brook no argument, how could he? I don't think the words "I want to molest my student." would go over well with anyone here. After all, what other excuse could he come up with?

"That' fine." was all he said, but I was able to decipher the slight undercurrent of disappointment evident in his tone.

Warmth, that I could only identify as sexual filled me at the thought of sharing a tent with Sasuke. I shook my head immediately at the thought. _That is not something I can afford to think about right now. _

Sakura, of course made her displeasure know to all.

"Why does Naruto get to share a tent with Sasuke-kun?!" she wailed. "I want to be in tent with Sasuke!"

This raised everyone, except Sasuke's, brows up.

Sasuke's eye was twitching.

"Sakura." he stated coldly. "Get it through your thick skull. I do not like you, in _any_ way. Now quit bitching and go to bed."

Sakura broke down in tears and ran to her tent.

Sasuke let out a long-suffering sigh and made his way to our tent, but not before he sent me a look that let me know exactly how much he _did_ like me.

_Okay I can officially not be alone with him, _I thought, _what to do what to do._

To ensure this I volunteered for the first guard shift. At least that way it would delay the time I had to spend in one place with the bastard for a while.

Unfortunately he volunteered for the next one. This meant that I would have to spend half the night with him. Oh goodie.

**End of chapter 6**

_All right this chapter is a bit longer than the last. This leaves three more chapters to fix and then I can finally work on my updates. This should be good news for the few of you who actually read the story. Well to those few thanks._


	8. Chapter 7 Another Complication

**Chapter 7 Another Complication**

After I'd finished my guard shift I went right to sleep, any thoughts of certain Uchiha trying to pull something really didn't frighten me. Even if he did try something, _which he is stupid enough to try_, I admitted to myself, Kyuubi never slept at night, it would wake me up if something out of the normal boundaries occurred.

I awoke myself in the middle of the night. Something had induced me out of my sleep, not knowing what I looked up...to find a bastard standing in front of where I was laying, with that self-satisfied smirk on his oh-so-perfect face.

_Kyuubi?! What the fuck why didn't you wake me sooner?_

**I didn't feel like it.**

_Thanks a lot, now I have to deal with this idiot. _

**Good luck with that.**

Damn fox, never could count on it when you really needed help. Looking up at Sasuke, I knew I was on my own.

"What do you want Uchiha?" I asked disinterestedly. (As if I didn't already know).

Sasuke said nothing, he just stared at me.

I rolled my eyes.

"All right, when you figure out what you want to say, please don't hesitate to let me know."

I moved to pull the covers back over my head, but before I had the chance, Sasuke took initiative.

Quicker than I'd ever seen him move, he was on top of me, with my sleeping bag and the clothes we wore as the only barriers between our two bodies.

Sasuke brought his face close to mine, so close that if I chose, I could close the distance between our lips, if I brought my head up slightly.

Instead I did the opposite of that. I yawned in his face, making sure he got a full whiff of my not-so-good smelling breath.

Inwardly I smirked, _that should take care of any sexual ideas he may have had for tonight. _

Ignoring the heat of his body was a little bit more difficult than I had anticipated, but I did. Rolling to my side I muttered.

"Goodnight bastard."

And that was the end of it…or so I thought.

After rolling over on my side, Sasuke apparently decided that he didn't care what my breath smelled like. He somehow managed to crawl into my sleeping bag with me.

Once again his face was centimeters away from mine. His put both of his hands on either side of my face, then brought his mouth to my ear, sending shivers down my back the whole while.

"I am going to fuck you, Uzumaki, I am going to fuck you so hard, that you will forget Hatake, Kakashi ever existed. When I come, I will come inside your body, so you will remember who you belong to."

Even I have to admit those words were a bit of a turn-on. So much so that I forgot about resistance and actually let him bring his lips to mine.

Evidently he was serious because his tongue immediately sought out my mouth. There was no precaution this time. He just bit my lip, and then brought his tongue through my already parted lips. His hands went around my neck and he rolled us so that he was on top.

I had already decided that if I was going to allow him to do this, then I may as well at least enjoy it.

I wrapped my own arms around his neck, arching my back, causing to press our bodies even closer together, if that was even possible. Sasuke growled as he felt my reciprocation. No longer listless, I tangled my tongue with his, our tongues dancing back and forth between the other's mouths.

When Sasuke tore his mouth from mine, a moan of frustration made itself out of my lips.

Sasuke smirked as he heard the sound and looked down at me.

"Don't worry Uzumaki, there's no way in hell I'm stopping at this point. I just want to feel you….skin on skin."

As I got his meaning, I know my eyes must have widened just a bit. I may be stronger than him, but when it comes to innuendo and sex, I'm (sorry to say it) a bit naive.

Before I realized it we were both naked. Sasuke was not kidding about the skin on skin thing. As if not giving my senses a chance to return, Sasuke started kissing me again as soon as he had both of our clothes off.

This time though, he kept grinding into my hips, as if he sensed that is where the most pleasure would come. And he was right, I almost saw stars right then and there, just from him kissing me, and grinding.

Suddenly it hit me.

_Why am I allowing this? It contradicts what I've told him about touching me. It's not as thought I'm against a good fuck, but in what way will this help me achieve my goals? Besides, if I let that stupid bastard continue, he'll think I'm weak and that he can fuck me anytime he wishes. It's already bad enough that he'd going to be the seme. Definitely best to stop him now._

"Get off Sasuke!" I shouted at him.

His head came up at that statement.

"I'm trying." Was his sardonic response, then his head went back down and he started sucking on my nipple.

Hissing at the contact, I realized he wouldn't get it unless I reinforced it with something. And I had to do it now, before I was too far gone.

So I shoved him.

"Get off of me Sasuke!"

As my words and 'push' finally sank into his bloodless brain, he stiffened, stopping his ministration on my nipple and brought his head up to stare at me.

"Why?" he asked, his tone, strangely curious, as if no one had ever said "No." to him before.

"Because I don't want you."

Sasuke's head snapped back like he had been slapped.

"Bullshit!" he snarled. "You have an erection, don't think I didn't notice."

"Uchiha, Uchiha," I taunted, deliberately being cruel, but I had to make it clear to him that he was never to attempt this again. "You would think you had never heard of puberty. When human males hit it, they get hard if anything touches their dick."

Sasuke crawled out of my sleeping bag, not looking me in the eye the whole time. But before he went back to his side of the tent he said.

"And I thought I was supposed to be the bastard."

I went back to sleep.

A few hours later Kyuubi, 'woke' me up to have a little talk.

**That was cruel brat, even for you.**

_Oh come off it, Kyuubi, he'll be fine._

**You know brat, I really do like you, but your inability to feel emotions is becoming quite the hindrance...Hmmmmm…**

_What are you Hmmmingggg for Kyuubi? What the hell are you planning?_

Suddenly an onslaught of something hit me.

It felt like…

Wait a second…_felt?_

_What the fuck did you do Kyuubi?!_

**More or less? Gave you the ability to feel. Well sort of. Consider yourself an emotion radar. You will now feel the emotions of the person nearest you. In this case Uchiha, Sasuke, whatever you are feeling now is what he is feeling.**

_Why the hell would you do this Kyuubi? You know a lack of emotions isn't always a bad thing._

I knew the tone of my voice was cold, more cold than usual in face. But I had to make it clear to him that he had gone way too far this time.

**Maybe not for some, but for you Naruto, it is very important that you be able to feel.**

_Why?_

**Consider this, when I am gone you will have to make decisions regarding the youkai. I don't want you always making cold decisions that are based solely on logic Some of your decisions will require you to look inside your heart for the answer. And how will you be able to do that if you can't feel?**

_I guess you have a point, _I muttered.

A wave of pain suddenly hit me.

_What the fuck?_

**That's called sadness and pain, emotional pain that is. You caused this brat. By not thinking about what you said to that Uchiha kid, you caused this pain. Even if you apologize it will never completely vanish. And by the way, speaking of the Uchiha kid, with him, your cover is blown.**

I sighed,_ Now what are you talking about?_

**The kid knows now that you're not the happy-go-lucky little fucker that everyone thinks you are. You might as well be honest with the kid. Because as far as I can see, and I see a lot, that kid cares a lot more about you than anyone else. This is surprising in one that young. He must have a lot more youkai blood than I originally thought.**

Another wave of pain hit me. Oh Gods, and I had actually wanted to feel emotions! Now I just wished I could go back to when I could feel nothing. I had to make this stop.

Walking over to Sasuke's side of the tent I sensed that he was still awake, but huddled in a miserable little ball, emitting these waves of emotions into me. Not, of course, that he knew what he was doing.

Sasuke seemed to sense my approach because he said to me.

"Don't bother trying to apologize, I don't give a shit what you think anyway. You were nothing but a convenient fuck to me as well."

For a second it felt like I had taken on his emotions, the pain and sadness engulfing me made me feel as if my heart would twist itself to death, the pain was that intense.

"Sasuke…I…." I was actually at a loss for words, this would have been interesting if it didn't hurt so damn much. If that didn't make matters worse, Sasuke brought his head out from inside the sleeping bag and looked at me.

"My God…he muttered. "Who would have thought? Look Naruto…"

The use of my first name from him brought my head up.

"I know you think you've done a great job of hiding your true self from everyone. And to everyone else it might work. But not on me. I know that you can't feel emotions, I know the Fourth was your father, hell I even know about the Kyuubi."

Kyuubi and I both gasped at this. _**What the hell?!**_

"How the hell did you know that?" I demanded to know. "There is no way you could have known that…. Unless you're youkai, but there haven't been any youkai born since…"

"--The whole Kyuubi Seal Incident?" Sasuke finished. "Yeah about that…the only reason Kyuubi didn't sense any of us, is because we've learned to hide out scent even from it. We had to, otherwise we faced the same fate as Kyuubi."

"So the whole reason we haven't seen or sensed any youkai is because…"

"--We're all in hiding." Sasuke finished again.

**End of Chapter 7 Another Complication**

**Sorry to cut ya'll off and I know it's been a while and my mom the salami (I'm home on leave and like to come up with weird pet names to annoy her) is getting ready to go to bed so I have to abide by her rules. Sigh What's the point of being 21 if you can't even stay up till 12? Anyway have a good night everyone and hope you like the newest addition to my story. And if I forgot to add it at the top, I do not own Naruto.**


	9. Chapter 8 Feelings, Make Them Stop!

_Alright here's another chapter, not that I'm complaining…hell, okay I am. If you people like this damn story so much leave fucking reviews! I'm not one of those fanfic writers who demand more reviews before writing but more it would be nice to hear what ya'll think of the damn thing once in a while. Hell you can even flame me if you feel like it…I can take criticism, that doesn't bother me. But there's really no point in writing a fic if people aren't going to read it! Okay now that I've had my little bitch session I can get back to writing my fic. Thanks to everyone who reads it, I know it's not much. _

**By the way there is a lemon in this chapter. It's nothing great, I'm still trying to work the kinks out so don't expect much.**

**Chapter 8 Feelings…make them stop!**

"Well I knew that!" I bit off harshly. It was obvious, Kyuubi, itself, had remarked on several occasions that there was no way that all of the youkai had been wiped out.

But still for a supposed human to know all of this…it was…well a bit shocking to say the least.

**This is the first time I've seen you at a loss for words gaki, Kyuubi chuckled. I think you've met your match.**

_Psssh, yeah right, my match is something the Uchiha will never be._

It was at that moment that that particular individual decided to interrupt our conversation.

"Hey I hate to interrupt the conversation with, well, yourself," he trailed off awkwardly, "but I think I'd better explain exactly what happened after Kyuubi was sealed. It might help you better understand why we had to conceal ourselves even from you."

Inwardly I sighed, it wasn't that I minded the story, it was just who was doing the telling. Five minutes ago this guy had been attempting to jump my bones. Hell, I still had a hard-on, and now he wanted to tell me a story? I could have laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation.

However, from the tone of Sasuke's voice it was hardly a laughing matter.

I gathered that Sasuke took my silence as a signal to begin his story because he began telling it without any provocation.

"After Kyuubi was sealed by the Fourth," he began. "The word got out extraordinarily fast, and all of the remaining youkai were at a loss of what to do." Kyuubi and I both snarled at the mention of the fourth hokage.

Sasuke looked up at the sound and arched an eyebrow. "Is this going to be a problem?" he asked condescendingly. The audacity of this bastard! He continually raised my ire with his arrogance and he asked me if I was going to be a problem.

Suddenly I froze.

I was _annoyed_ and _frustrated._

Both feelings were not my own considering I was only able to filter them from others.

Which meant I was feeling _his_ annoyance and frustration? A smug smile made its way across my face.

Sasuke's face took on a worried look at my smile. "Is something amusing?" he asked, not able to keep a tinge of unease out of his voice.

Deciding to take advantage of his uncertainty I crawled over to where he was sitting until I was a breath away from his ear. This was going to be so much fun. I love messing with people when they leave themselves vulnerable.

"It's nothing really Sasuke-kun." I purred into his ear "I just noticed that you're feeling a little _frustrated." _

I grinned in satisfaction as he involuntarily shivered against my ear.

Suddenly I felt excited. This could only mean one thing. He felt excited. Sexually excited if his breathing and tented out pants were any indication.

But damn Kyuubi! Because of his interference that meant any excitement that bastard felt I felt as well.

I groaned into Sasuke's neck as my gradually deflating erection suddenly sprang back to life.

I grit my teeth to keep from jumping the bastard's bones right then and there. But I hesitated…_this isn't my_ _own need I'm feeling, it's his_,_ I only feel like this because of Kyuubi_.

I would have to restrain myself until I convinced Kyuubi to dispose of this 'emotion radar.'

Sasuke unfortunately had no inclination to restrain himself. He took immediate advantage of my momentary lapse in action and brought his lips crashing down into mine.

He didn't give me any time to react just plowed right through my lips, not bothering for permission. He massaged my tongue with his, as if trying to convince me to participate.

I, however, needed to further prompting.

At that moment I felt a wave of need go through me. It left me stripped bare and _wanting_. Suddenly I didn't care. I didn't care that what I was feeling wasn't me. I just didn't care. I wanted…something god damn it! And if that bastard could give it to me through his current ministrations, fuck it…I would help him.

Sasuke's eyes opened in surprise as my army went around his neck, pulling him closer. But he didn't' argue, just brought my mouth back down to his. He nipped and bit at my lips as though he wanted to eat me alive.

Somehow that thought turned me on even more and I needed to feel _more. _I brought both of my hands up to the Uchiha's chest and pushed.

As gravity pulled him back a few feet the bastard's dark eyes lost their glazed look and confusion filled their depths.

"What…?" was all he managed to sputter out before I tore the shirt from his body and flung it into some dark recess in the tent. The rest of his clothing received the same treatment until he was clothed in nothing but the moonlight filtering through the roof of the tent.

I took a moment to observe the bastard in all of his naked glory. He really was pale, definitely paler than I. As with most shinobi, even at a young age, he had pronounced muscle definition, derived from constant training. What astounded me was the condition of his skin. It had no scars, no marks to mar its perfection. It was so unlike mine. My own skin was also unmarred, but so much rougher than his. I had never encountered such softness.

Indeed I had no idea skin such as his even existed. I had a sudden urge to taste it, to leave my own mark on it. So strong was my desire to do so I started towards the Uchiha.

The bastard looked somewhat uneasy as I approached him. He had wriggled under my scrutiny as if he wasn't used to being naked in front of others. Well, I smirked, he would get over that. He was the one who had instigated this little game of seduction, and I would be the one to finish it.

Sensing that he was about to attempt to get away, I made my move. Just as he was about to run I pounced…and landed on top of him. At the look of shock on his face I imitated one of his know-it-all smirks.

"What's the matter bastard?" I asked smugly "Can't finish what you started." Maybe it was wrong to goad him on so, I thought to myself as anger filled his eyes. But at this point in time I was willing to do whatever it took for the idiot to get over his stupefaction. An unresponsive partner was not something I either wanted or needed.

Evidently my ploy to anger him worked because he grabbed hold of my me and rolled our bodies so that he was now the one on top.

"Psssh, about time, teme" I taunted him. "I was beginning to think you weren't _up_ to the challenge."

He just smirked, with his usual self assurance.

"Oh don't worry Uzumaki, I'm more than able to face it." Then he licked the shell of my ear. "But I'll understand if you aren't."

Before I could respond, he was tearing off my own clothes until I was as naked as he was.

He took a moment to gaze at my body. Seemingly as enthralled with the differences between our bodies as I had been.

"Now we can get started." Sasuke purred at me, after a moment. (yes purred). "But where to begin? There are so many places I could start with. Like here for example."

His fingers found my erection and wrapped themselves around it. I couldn't help but groaning at the sensation. I almost came from just that little touch of his hands on me.

"Or here." Sasuke's mouth found mine and he simultaneously rubbed my cock in sequence with rubbing my tongue with his, as though mimicking what he would ultimately doing once the teasing was over.

It was the biggest turn-on I had every experienced (really the only one) and I couldn't contain myself.

I was on the brink of something, something I couldn't control and didn't want to.

Then without any warning I screamed into his mouth and let it all go.

I didn't think.

I couldn't, the feeling was indescribable, it was like everything that had existed in my life, even me disappeared in that moment, and then came rushing back all at once in a blur.

All I really knew is that it was addicting and I wanted more.

Sasuke's stomach was covered with semen, but he didn't seem to care as his mouth took mine again. Then it hit me.

He hadn't had his release yet. A knowing smirk lit my face. Well who was I to deny the bastard what he wanted?

Separating our mouths for a moment to breath I whispered into his ear. "That was great Uchiha, but one of us was left wanting, ne?"

His eyes widened at that and immediately sought out mine questioningly. Then he smirked back at me.

"I was just getting you used to my touch Uzumaki. But don't worry, what I'm about to do will ensure that _both_ of us get what we want."

I stopped thinking and just felt, moaning with renewed arousal when he once again brought my lips to his. The kiss was different this time, it was desperate, and he didn't hold back like he had before, neither did I for that matter.

I felt a finger push into a hole that had never been breached before.

I instinctively tensed up at the intrusion, which made it all that more painful.

"Relax Uzumaki." The bastard murmured into my ear. "It will only be more painful if you don't"

Eventually I got used to the feeling; he then slid a second finger in, scissoring them in and out in and out using my own semen as lubrication. A third finger was slid in, and he began hitting my prostrate dead on every time. It felt good. Really good. It got to the point of where a rhythm was established my hips rising to meet his thrusts. If it hadn't been for his mouth on mine, I'm sure Kakashi Sakura, and/or Tazuna would have woken up long ago.

The next thing I know he had removed his fingers, and I almost cried at the loss.

"Don't worry, dobe…" his voice sending shudders down my back. "I'm not done with you yet." Then he thrust his cock in all the way to the hilt.

The pain that suddenly filled me was definitely new to me. But I'd definitely felt worse so I just grunted and lifted my hips in time with. his thrusts. Once the pain wore off it felt even better than his fingers had and soon the bastard had me moaning even louder than before. His cock was hitting _that_ spot dead on with every thrust.

Sasuke was fastly approaching the same pinnacle as me, and soon I couldn't hold it anymore, I saw a light and knew I couldn't take anymore.

Evidently neither could Sasuke because we both came at the same time. Sasuke coming inside of me.

I didn't mind, it wasn't an unpleasant sensation.

His forehead on mine, we both lay panting for a moment, the reality of what we had just done, beginning to sink in.

I pushed him off me and cleaned myself off as best I could. Putting my clothes on as quickly as I could find them.

Sasuke just sat there on the ground, staring at me.

I could feel his hurt and confusion at my sudden detachment.

I felt like tearing my hair out. I decided I would dash any hopes of…whatever he hoped for right now before this got any more out of hand.

"Look Sasuke," I said, running my hands through my hair. "What just happened….well you might as well forg--."

"—I know that." He responded, his voice unemotional and detached. "I just wanted to see if the great Kyuubi was as good a fuck as the legends say."

_**What?! **_Kyuubi and I were both shocked by this.

"What you thought I harbored romantic intentions towards you?" he snorted. "You were good Uzumaki…but not that good."

Apparently I wasn't as emotionally dead as I thought because I felt something shatter at his words. And suddenly I couldn't feel his emotions anymore, and I was grateful.

"Good." Was all I uttered. I turned away from him and went back to my cot.

I felt wetness coming from my eyes.

_Kyuubi? What the hell is happening to me? You cut off the 'emotion radar'—as you call it—from the bastard didn't you?_

**Yes gaki, I did, **it's voice uncharacteristically sympathetic.

_Then what the fuck is up with this pain?!_

**Evidently whatever was locking away your emotions was released when Uchiha gave his little speech about my prowess in bed, **its voice was very dry here,** in other words gaki, whatever you feel now is your own emotions, not his.**

_How is this possible? I thought I had been born without emotions?_

It snorted at that.

**You are smart, gaki, but sometimes you are such an idiot. Every human is born with emotions. You were born human, so it stands to reason that you would have emotions. **

_I see._

**Quite a predicament, eh?**

_You could say that. But why does it hurt?_

**I would imagine it's because of what that little bastard said. **

It was silent for a moment, then once again spoke.

**Gaki, I've changed my mind.**

_About?_

**You are to stay away from that Uchiha, except to find out what happened to the rest of the youkai. I no longer want you to be exposed to that little weasel. I know now know he cannot be trusted. **

_How do you figure?_

**I'll fill you in later, I just hope I didn't interfere too late…**

_Too late for what?_

**For you to get your heart broken.**

Now it was my turn to snort, despite the pain I was feeling.

_I think you overestimate his appeal and underestimate my resistance._

**Let's hope so gaki, let's hope so.**

_Is he that dangerous?_

**He wouldn't have a snow-ball's chance in hell of beating us, but…**

_But what?_

**If I find out that for some reason you are lying to me about him hurting you, I will not hesitate to tear him apart. **

The deadly intent in Kyuubi's voice made me inadvertently shiver.

_Goddamn these emotions! They are so fucking annoying._

**Best get used to them, they are not going anywhere.**

All I could think was _fuck_

**End of Chapter 8 Feelings...make them stop!**

_Sorry if I didn't make this clear before but Sasuke and Naruto's first time (if I make a next time) was meant to be cold. Both don't know what either want, hell up until now Naruto hasn't been able to feel. The next lemon, not that it will necessarily be these two, will involve more emotion. I just felt like embellishing, partly on why the lemon was so fucked up. Anyway, I hope you all stay tuned. One more chapter to go and then I finally do chapter ten._


	10. Chapter 9 Unanticipated

_Holy shit I have been in a mood to write lately I don't know what the hell is up. Thanks for those who reviewed I appreciate the feedback, its good to know what you guys actually think. I still think have a ways to go before my writing is anywhere near good, though. Hopefully I will only get better. To all who are trying to guess who Naruto will end up with…I don't even know yet, if it isn't Sasuke I will change the pairing so it reflects who he'll be with. It really will depend on where I feel the story is taking me. So stay tuned in, please feel free to review, trust me it is appreciated._

**Chapter 9 Unanticipated**

I wish I could say I woke up refreshed the next morning, but that certainly wasn't true. That little bout with Sasuke had left me physically—and now—emotionally drained. At least I think I was emotionally drained. Gods this uncertainty would be the death of me! There was no physical pain of course, Kyuubi had seen to that, but the pain had yet to cease. And if Kyuubi was correct in its thinking, it wouldn't end any time soon.

Goddamn Uchiha, right now I really didn't care whether that bastard lived or died. _His life is in your hands_ Kyuubi had said. Well fuck him, let him die, at this moment he could die and I would rejoice. _You know that's not true, _some voice decided to interject.

Arrghhh! I wish I had never wished to feel emotions! This was very irritating. I had to find a way to retain my usual impassiveness, or else parts of my true self would leak into my mask which would not do.

_Hey Kyuubi._

**What do you want Gaki?**

_Take away these Godamned feelings away right now!_

**Why gaki, one would think you weren't happy with your new condition. **That Godamned fox actually had the gall to laugh at me.

_Kyuubi you know that one of my only goals in life was to gain my emotions and you supported me. In fact you thought it would help in governing future decisions I may have to make._

**What of it Gaki? **Kyuubi's tone had taken a serious and slightly worried note to it.

_I hate it! _To my horror more water welled up in my eyes, as they filled up, drops ran down my face. Then the pain that had never completely subsided flooded into my entire being, until it felt as though I was wholly consumed by it. _Can't I just go back to feeling nothing? The beatings never hurt this badly! Can you please just make it go away?_

I despised myself for the weakness and whining I heard in my own tone.

**Gaki…**I heard Kyuubi say--its voice filled with what I now knew was regret—**I'm sorry, you know I can't do that. I know it will take some getting used to. But in the long run it will be good for you.**

_When will it stop hurting so much? _I had ceased crying, but the pain remained, sharp and resilient.

**Eventually, yes.**

_Kyuubi, how am I supposed to stop this pain from interfering with my 'mask?'_

**Do the best you can gaki, it will be extremely hard at times. That's really all the advice I can give you. Somewhere along the line you will learn to control these emotions. And then you will finally be ready, and I will be obsolete.**

Fear filled me at its words. _Kyuubi what do you mean ready? And your being obsolete? _

**Gaki, you knew the day would come eventually. I can't look after you for the rest of your life.**

_Yes you can! _

**Gaki, you've always known that someday that someday I will have to leave.**

The damn fox was right for once. It had always warned me that it wouldn't be around forever. But I didn't want to face a world without it. Kyuubi had always been the one constant in my life. The one thing I could always count on, it took me getting my emotions back to see just how incomplete my existence would be without it.

_What will I do without you Kyuubi?_

**You will continue to live. That's all anyone can do, continue to live…no matter how painful it gets. If it's any consolation, I too, will miss you…gaki.**

Warmth filled me at its words. Kyuubi was the closest thing to a parent that I had. And like any child was someone (or in this case something) that I had come to love (even if I only just now realized it). When the time came for it to leave I don't know what I'd do.

But right now I had other things to worry about. And that to make sure these emotions didn't interfere with my 'mask.'

After attending to my daily personal hygiene routine I heard Kakashi call all of us out for the daily mission brief.

Once finished, we headed out, Kakashi taking the lead the rest of us following close behind.

Sakura, of course, was directly behind Sasuke, who was brooding as usual. She was trying, without success, to engage him in conversation.

I couldn't help but chuckle under my breath. She was so pathetic.

At the small discreet sound, Sakura whipped around, glaring at me, Kakashi, and Tazuna.

I was surprised that the pink monstrosity actually had it in her to glare at anything. Someone like her needed to stay in a corner and not to speak to anyone, _ever. _

Then it decided to step it up a notch by speaking.

"Who laughed?!" The pink-haired thing snarled. "Shinobi aren't supposed to show emotion. Especially during missions!"

Everyone, including Tazuna, stared at her for a long moment in amazement.

I concluded that Kakashi couldn't let that statement go.

Seconds later I was proven right.

"Ugh…Sakura?" He managed to say. "You do realize the idiocy and hypocrisy of the statement you just uttered, right?"

Her blank stare must have been his answer because he went on.

"I guess that's a no. Sakura you are in no position to criticize anyone's emotional display or lack thereof. You put your emotion right out there for everyone to see."

"Bu-But--." She managed to stutter.

"—No Buts." Kakashi stated firmly, his voice cool and authorative, I was almost impressed, _almost._ "Until I give you permission, you are not to tell any shinobi what or what not to do. Do I make myself clear?"

At this point, she must have realized her mistake, and how stupid she'd sounded, because she ducked her head and shame and muttered. "Yes sensei."

"Good." Was all he said before he started back at the pace we had been traveling minutes before the little altercation.

Sakura was blessedly silent as we trudged down the road.

Out of the blue I sensed a chakra about the equal of Kakashi's coming at us from the north.

As it got closer Kakashi finally sensed it.

"Meiji formation!" he shouted as he fell into a defensive stance. "Protecting the client comes first!"

Once we'd formed up, he raised his hitai-ate from its normal position over his left eye. Sasuke gasped in shock at the sight, I just smirked.

_So he's finally going to use it huh? About damn time, with a Jounin at the level of the one approaching we're going to need it. _The 'it' I spoke of was Kakashi's one sharingan eye. It allowed him to copy every jutsu used in its vision. This included ninjutsu, genjutsu, and taijutsu.

Finally the chakra signature was directly in front of us.

At the exact moment it reached us so did the individual it belonged to.

Momochi, Zabuza, was the reputed 'Demon of the Mist.' I immediately recognized him from the hokage's list of rogue nin. The picture I'd seen of him was pretty accurate, right down to the decapitating sword and bandage-covered face.

The thing that surprised me the most about his appearance was the fact that he still wore his hitai-ate. That was a bit odd, why would he need his hitai-ate if he was rogue?

My theory was he was planning to attempt again what had originally made him a rogue. This was to take out the Mizukage.

Not the smartest idea, in my opinion, but hey whatever. I took my defensive position next to Sasuke and Sakura in a defensive formation, with Tazuna to the rear.

The exact moment Kakashi's eyes locked on Zabuza, it seemed he knew immediately who it was. His eyes narrowed as apprehension filled every fiber of his being.

I knew from his body language that any second the ensuing battle would begin.

Sure enough, seconds later, both Kakashi and Zabuza disappeared, seemingly in the blink of any eye.

It was nearly killing me to stay in one position and not fight. Kyuubi had taught me that to not be in the thick of battle was a type of dishonor among the youkai. So you can imagine how I felt, being ordered to stay back.

Eventually, Kakashi the ever so slick shinobi managed to get himself caught in one of Zabuza's traps. Basically it comprised of Kakashi being help motionless inside an orb of water.

Once trapped, he gave up and started yelling for us to run.

All three of us were torn.

Did we stay and help out our superior? Or did run, doing the first duty of a shinobi, which is to accomplish the mission and protect the client.

I was furious that this doubt was filling me. 24 hours ago I wouldn't have cared what had happened to any of these people. I would have made the logical decision, not one based on emotion.

The other two were just as torn as I was apparently. Finally we all looked at Tazuna in expectation. Him being the client, we left it up to him.

With all three of our faces on him, he started sweating profusely. Finally he managed to mumble out.

"Go help your sensei. It's my fault you're all in this mess. If I had been truthful about the situation in the first place this would never have happened."

Now clear on what we were to do I was about to propose a plan, but Sasuke had to be the hotheaded fool he was and rush into it. No teamwork for him, just plunge straight into the fight.

Of course Zabuza had one of this clones take Sasuke down like it was nothing.

"Kakashi." He growled low in this throat. "You might want to warn your _comrades_." He said this word mockingly. "That if they don't quit annoying me I will kill them."

All right, enough was enough. I was getting a little irritated and the source of that emotion was currently holding Kakashi in his orb.

"Sasuke." I growled. "If you're done being stupid and getting your ass kicked then listen up I have an idea."

Sasuke glared at being called stupid, and I knew he would hate having to actually work as a team, especially considering what had happened between us last night. But he wasn't stupid enough to ignore my advice.

Slowly and painfully he picked himself up off the ground.

I used Kage Bunshin no Jutsu to make about twenty or so clones, then had them surround Zabuza's clone and then attack him in a dog pile. Zabuza's clone of course, easily overpowered all of mine and he dispelled all of them easily.

I seemingly dug in my pack and found a shuriken. I then threw it to Sasuke who caught it.

He glared at me as my plan finally dawned on him and I saw a grudging respect enter his eyes before he threw the shuriken.

Zabuza's clone braced itself or the impact the shuriken would have. When it didn't come its eyes widened and it followed the path that the shuriken was taking.

It was aimed at his real body that couldn't move as one of his hands was in the orb of water keeping the jutsu active.

Still he caught the shuriken easily enough with his free hand and smirked at all us…until a second shuriken came flying out of the shadow of his first and once again aimed at his real body.

This time he jumped over the shuriken and looked at the three of us.

"I cannot be touched with something as simple as a common shuriken!" he growled at us as if to berate us for even attempting such a foolish thing.

"What about a kunai?" my clone shouted at him as it dove towards his face. Zabuza hadn't given the second shuriken a glance after he'd jumped over it. My clone managed only to scratch his face with it as Zabuza pulled away.

But the desired result was still achieved. At his surprise at the unexpected attack Zabuza had jerked away, inadvertently dispelling the jutsu as he did so.

Kakashi now stood wet, but free…and he looked more than just a little pissed.

It was probably his bruised ego. He didn't like the fact that we had had to rescue his sorry ass.

I guess he decided hurt pride could wait because he turned towards Zabuza.

"All right Zabuza." He said coolly. "Time to die. I don't fall for the same thing twice.

I could already see it was over. Every time Zabuza attempted a jutsu, Kakashi was there with his sharingan to counteract his every move. It really was a no-win situation for Zabuza.

Soon Kakashi had beaten him at his own game.

But before Zabuza could be finished off someone else apparently wanted to do the honors.

Just as Kakashi was about to deal the final blow, a senbon embedded itself into Zabuza's neck. He fell where he stood.

A masked figure in green came out of the mist that was starting to dispel, since Zabuza was no longer in any condition to sustain it.

Kakashi went to the body and felt for a pulse.

"He's dead." Was all that uttered.

The masked figure nodded in agreement and then spoke.

"I need to dispose of the body. You know the routine."

Kakashi nodded in understanding, exhaustion evident in every movement he made.

The figure in green put the body on his shoulders and disappeared as quickly as he had appeared.

I watched him go, knowing something was up. Kakashi missed this, being as tired as he was.

Moments after the masked figure left, he collapsed.

"Oh dear!" Tazuna gasped. "We need to get him to my house. There I'm sure we'll be able to make him as good as new.

Sasuke and I were made to carry Kakashi's unconscious body. I barely noted the weight as I thought about that supposed ANBU that had taken Zabuza's body. Something just didn't add up. There were too many anomalies with how quickly the green character had appeared when Zabuza was cornered. Suddenly it clicked.

I smiled as the realization dawned on me. _Good, _we'll be seeing the masked guy again. _I don't like people who think they can fool me. This will be fun. _

Eventually we got to Tazuna's house. Kakashi was laid in their guest bed. I couldn't' help but notice how shabby the place looked. Hopefully they did get that bridge built, otherwise they were screwed.

Sympathy had unexpectedly filled me as we'd walked through the village on the way to our destination. Fear and poverty had been evident on everyone's faces.

Sakura had accomplished the impossible and did a good deed by giving one of the local children candy.

All of this because of one human male's greed.

Anger filled me.

This would not be allowed to continue.

**Now you know why gaki.**

_Know what?_

**Why I wanted you to regain your ability to feel. It's not just the youkai I want you to aid. Anyone who suffers when they have done no wrong should also be helped.**

_I guess I can't argue with that particular point. _I conceded. _But I'm still having, well, mixed emotions about the whole emotional thing. _

**You'll get used to it after a while.**

Later that night as I lay in bed I thought about Kyuubi's words. It was right. But Gods sometimes I wish I'd just been born as someone other than who I was. Before I fell asleep my last thoughts were on Sasuke. I was too tired to be angry at myself for this. But I couldn't help but think about his dark eyes and how they had looked as he came. Knowing I would curse myself for this in the morning I let my body carry me into that so-called peaceful place, but for me, was a painful oblivion of unconsciousness.

**End of Chapter Nine, Unanticipated**

_Finally I am done revising and editing! Now I can finally progress the story. This should make some of you crazies out there happy. So chillax, and enjoy the next chapter when it comes out. When it anyone's guess._


	11. Chapter 10 Dealing

_Personally I would like to apologize to anyone reading this for leaving yet another author's note instead of a chapter. This is another chapter to the fic and not an author's note. Damn, this is the longest fic I have ever written...anyway back to the story._

**Chapter 10 Dealing**

The next morning I was woken up by voices coming from the other room.

_And just as I had almost blissfully forgotten that I was on this stupid fucking mission._

**Save it gaki, **was Kyuubi's dry response, **get your ass moving, you're running late.**

_Why should I?  _I whined, knowing I was acting like a child. But I just couldn't help myself. _It's not as though I wanted to be a shinobi in the first place. _I pointed out logically as I grudgingly stripped and changed into my 'mask's' clothes.

**Actually you did have a choice, **Kyuubi pointed right back, **And**** you made that choice when you helped Iruka.**

I couldn't argue with this fact. The damn fox was right again.

At my lack of response Kyuubi chuckled.

**Don't worry gaki, one day you'll be as smart as me.**

Before I could provide a rebuttal its voice faded back into the recesses of my mind, going back to sleep as it always did during the day.

Mentally cursing about stupid foxes and their horrible senses of humor, I finished getting ready, walking to the kitchen where Sasuke, Sakura, Tazuna, and his daughter were all sitting.

_Guess Kakashi's still too under the weather to move. It must suck to have such a drawback when using the sharingan. _

I too, sat down at the table, pointedly ignoring the pair of dark eyes that were actively observing me. The last thing I needed to do was think about him right now.

Instead I decided to concentrate on the mission.

"Hey Tazuna?" Tazuna's head came up and looked at me in annoyance.

"What do you want, shrimp?" Evidently my 'pet name' from Tazuna was shrimp. What did he care? He was old, and no one ever cares what old people think. But I still couldn't completely suppress the surge of annoyance that shot through me at his insult.

I decided I would not let it slide.

"I just have a question old man." I took satisfaction in the fact that his eyebrow started twitching at 'old man.' "Did Kakashi sensei leave directions with you on what we're supposed to while he in incapacitated?"

"No, he didn't." Tazuna replied in surprise, shocked that such a thought had actually occurred to me.

Surprisingly enough Kakashi chose that moment to hobble into the room on a makeshift crutch.

Tazuna's daughter, of whose name I can't and really don't care to remember, shot out of her seat at the sight.

"Kakashi-sama!" she exclaimed melodramatically. "You really shouldn't be up! Let me help you back to bed!"

_Oh gods, _I thought in disgust, _could she be any more fucking obvious? I guess she figures since Kakashi is a shinobi, and a jounin at that her troubles would over if she landed him as a lover. _

Just that thought alone was enough to make me laugh out loud.

Everyone's gaze landed on me, Tazuna's daughter glaring at me as she did so.  _Hmm, it's amazing even here people instinctively hate me.  Hmmm, it must be my amazing charisma._ The others merely stared at me with a type of fascination, as if the depression the air were so, well depressing, that they couldn't imagine what was funny.

Eventually I looked down and everyone decided to go back to sulking and brooding.

Except of course the daughter, she kept on flirting with Kakashi, so inept when it came to body language, that she couldn't tell he was ignoring her.

Finally the whole spectacle of one-sided flirting grew old tiresome, the reason why I was not willing to acknowledge, so I decided to break it up.

"So Kakashi-sensei since you're on crutches does that mean you're going to train us?" I asked, plastering what I hoped was a stupid, goofy grin on my face.

Finally give an excuse to shrug out of the annoying woman's grasp, he beamed at me in thankfulness.

_Trust me you moron, it wasn't for your benefit.  I just dislike seeing people making fools out of themselves._

"Yes!"

Creeped out by this I asked, somewhat rudely.

"Then could we get started sometime today?"

Sakura, Tazuna, and his daughter all looked at me in shock.

I didn't care. I was impatient to get out of this house. Everyone and everything here was starting to drive me crazy. If I didn't get somewhere I could breathe and soon I would not be held responsible for my actions.

Getting over the initial rudeness of my question, Kakashi finally came back to his senses.

"All right. Sakura, Sasuke, and Naruto." he announced in a somewhat authorative voice.

"Hai" Sakura squeaked.

"Hn." Sasuke grunted.

"Yeah!" I yelped, hand in the air like I'd just won a grand prize.

"Let's go." He commanded dramatically, hobbling slowly and awkwardly out the door. 

I almost burst out laughing again at the sight.

Having had no idea where he would lead us, it was much to my pleasant surprise when we were led to a local forest. We came upon a clearing not too deep into the forest and it was there he stopped.  It was obvious from his body language that this was as far as he could go in his current condition.

"So what type of training are you going to have us do Kakashi sensei?" Sakura asked after a moment, undisguised curiosity in her voice.

Kakashi went on to explain that the exercise he wanted us to perform would help with chakra control. Demonstrating he showed us that you have to manipulate just enough to chakra to your feet. The other two were wondering why he was even molding chakra to his feet, when he suddenly started to climb a tree with only his feet touching the surface...and he didn't fall off.

Somehow I managed to look as enthralled as the other two.

Kyuubi had taught me this exercise when I was five.

Once he thought we had grasped the main concept, Kakashi had us practice. Announcing that once we reached the top he would consider us as having passed this block of training.

Sasuke struggled with it, and of course so did 'I'.

Sakura, amazingly enough, had finally found something she was good at. _Good now maybe she'll realize her true calling, build a nest, and never come down._

Kakashi passed Sakura, but told Sasuke and I that we were to stay keep at it until we could mark the top with a kunai.

He dismissed Sakura, telling her to go guard Tazuna at the bridge. Wishing he had left with her, I continued to 'practice.' I would have to keep this charade up until Kakashi left.

Speaking of which, had just walked up behind me.

"Need any help?" Kakashi whispered into my ear, attempting to be stealthy.  I rolled my eyes.  _Someone should probably explain to him, the conspicuousness of his crutch, and the fact that he sucks at stealth with it._

"No." I replied, falsely sugar coating my tone. "But if you don't get away from me you're going to need help removing that crutch from your ass."

Chuckling amusedly, Kakashi let me have my way, after all, he was really in no condition to do anything to me anyway.

Eventually he left...leaving me alone with Sasuke.

_Oh Gods, _I thought to myself, _please let the bastard just concentrate on his training for once. Beside, unlike me he actually needs it._

Luckily Sasuke was too busy actually trying to conduct the training to bother me.

Just for my own deliverance form boredom I let him think he was winning I started to 'catch up' to him little by little as I had to make it appear I was making some effort at this training.

I heard his outraged cry when he made this observation, smiling smugly, not caring if he saw.

But of course he did.

"Just what the fuck is your deal?!" he screeched at me.

The amusement faded and that annoying pain that I had thought long gone suddenly flared up as he addressed me directly for the first time since our little altercation.

Knowing I wouldn't be able to keep my composure, I walked off without answering him. His eyes burning into my back the entire time.

I knew what would calm my nerves...and that was a run through the forest.

But not in my current visage.

After all that's what my other form is for.

My human form and the other that I use very rarely, which is youkai form.

I barely ever it though, the reason being it's extremely hard to shift back into human form once in it.

That is how alluring being in the other form is. Today though, I needed it. Needed to run through the forest wild and untamed to remind me of what my real purpose was and to clear my head.

Hanyous of course, cannot usually shift, but I wasn't exactly what you'd call a normal hanyou.

I conjured the image I needed in my mind and felt my tendons and bones start to crack and reshape themselves to fit the form that I wanted.

I had stripped for this. Clothes generally tend to tear when you change shape. It was always extremely painful too. We are talking about your body contorting into an entirely different shape so of course it's going to hurt.

When I am finished, I always feel more alive.

I have to be careful though, foxes that are abnormally large and golden tend to raise too many questions, as well as eyebrows. I imagine that would be especially true in these parts.

I immediately take off running, once the change is over, nowhere in mind to go, just running blindly, jumping over rotting logs, raised tree roots, and anything else that happened to be in my path.

Exhilaration fills my every pore as I do so.

_This is what it means to be alive. _

Thoughts of Sasuke, of everything that has been causing me strife, slip from my mind as I concentrate all of my effort into just feeling.

Something in the past that I've never been able to do.

I finally realize how late it's getting and bring my pace back to a somewhat normal gait, heading over to where I had left my clothes...only to find a smug, fucking bastard holding said garments in his hands once I arrive.

His eyes widen slightly when he sees me in my other form, but soon that familiar arrogant look is back in place.

His smirk grows, as if somehow sensing my displeasure at his being there.

"Why dobe." he drawled. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say you weren't happy to see me.

**End of Chapter 10 Dealing**


	12. Chapter 11 Back to Square One

_All right people this chapter may piss you off I'm warning you now.  So if you don't like it sorry.  You should be fucking grateful that I updated this soon.  Take what you can get.  It's not like I demand reviews like some of these other dumbass authors.  No, I will never demand reviews to continue updating, I don't flow that way.  I do however probably need a beta so if you know anyone feel free to let me know._

**Chapter 11 Back to Square One**

Outrage filled every pore of my body as that bastard stood there looking so damn smug.

I took a step toward him, feeling a snarl tear itself out of my mouth before I could contain it.  _I am pissed, _it told Sasuke, conveying to him what exact emotion I felt towards him at the present, _don't make it worse for yourself or you will regret it._

This message seemed to make its meaning clear to him as the smirk he had wore only moments before was replaced with a more reproachful appearance.

I felt the anger from before drain away, emotional weariness taking over.  Even though I had just recently gained the ability to feel was rapidly taking its toll.  At this point I just wished things would go back to the way they had been before. 

At the present moment, however, I needed to deal with Sasuke and attempt to put this entire situation behind me.  After all, I had far more important things to worry about than an Uchiha who couldn't leave well enough alone.

Mentally envisioning the image I wanted to shift into, I felt more than saw my tendons and bones, cracking and reshaping themselves to accommodate said image.  I had thought that this might sicken Sasuke, but he watched in apparent fascination as my body contorted back into its usual form.  Not flinching at all at the random popping and cracking.

That fascination continued even after I had completely changed back.  I felt my face get hot as his eyes trailed their way down my once-again human body. 

Attempting to once again gain momentum I forced back the embarrassment that had suddenly appeared and asked Sasuke as calm and collected as I could in such a situation.

"Could I get my clothes back now?   It's getting a little chilly out here."

That insufferable arrogant look that I couldn't stand appeared on his face as fast as it had vanished before.  Then this eerie smile lit up his face.  It was really quite creepy, a shudder went down my spine as I got a really bad feeling.

"Hmmmm…." He mused, placing a finger on this chin as if in deep meditation. "I don't think I'll be able to do that until….yes that should do it."

"What?" I asked, eyeing him warily.

Getting serious he finally cut the crap.

"You're going to answer some questions for me Kyuubi."  He stated as if it were already pre-acknowledged that I was going to go along with this. "Once you do so I'll be more than happy to give you back your "clothes.""  He grimaced at the last word, making his distaste in my apparel more than evident.

_All right, _I mused, _this is already more than enough.  Kyuubi said I couldn't use youkai strength unless it was against another youkai or a life-threatening situation.  Sasuke technically isn't human so the damn fox won't be able to argue._

Sasuke took my silence as conceding defeat, not noting the sudden stiffness of my body, he went on.

"The first question I have is why—"

His words were halted as--from the human eye out of nowhere—my clothes were snatched out his hands.

Making sure to mask my chakra I slowed my pace down to that of a normal human, finally stopping when I had found a place that provided adequate camouflage.  Wasting no time, I yanked my eye-offending clothes back on my body.

_Stupid bastard, _I mused, _he really thought he could beat me?  _I snorted.  _Not likely.  _I was curious, though, about what he had done when I'd pulled my literal 'fast' one.

I made my way back to where he had been standing not bothering to be stealthy on this go-around. 

Once I'd arrived he was surprisingly still there.  It looked like he hadn't moved at all.

I laughed out loud, the sound bringing his head to swing around looking at me in shock.  I was immediately sobered as I saw the look in his eyes.  I took a defensive stance, the gleam in his eye that unpredictable, his body language was also unreadable.

Suddenly he too, started laughing, a broken, defeated sound that pulled at something in me.  I didn't speak, something inwardly told me that if I did, if I wasn't silent I would somehow regret it.

The hysterical sound changed into a broken sob.  I was at a loss of what to do, I had never had to deal with something like that before.  I know it sounded selfish but at his broken sob I started to panic.  _Shit, I preferred the bastard acting condescending and pissing me off.  That I can handle, this is a whole different story. _ Sasuke's voice brought me out of my panic-induced stupor.

"You should see your face right now." He half-sobbed half-laughed, hysteria still slightly laced in his tone. "You act like you've never seen someone about to go insane."  He laughed again, if that horrible sound can be called a laugh.  "Then again I guess you haven't. "

I cocked my head at him in curiosity.

"Why are you about to go insane?" I asked, genuinely wondering why.  In my defense I had no idea what he was talking about.  To me he was spouting nonsense.

"You really don't know do you Kyuubi?" he asked, bewildered that I didn't know what he was talking about.

"I said I don't didn't I?!" I said, knowing irritation was beginning to fill my own voice. "And stop calling me Kyuubi!  That is not my name, you idiot!"

His eyes widened in surprise at my declaration, or maybe it was just shock that someone had dared insult his person.

"Look." I said, cutting the bullshit, "I'm not great at this whole 'in touch with you emotions' thing.  If you have something to say, say it already!  If not, let me know so I can leave!"

Inwardly I knew I was being rude, but this bastard had a way of getting under my skin, making me lose all of my hard-earned control.  I don't like not being in control, in fact, I abhor it.

"Oh Gods." He responded in wonder.  "The great Kyuubi is anti-social?  Who would have known?"

That was so it.  I started to take off, but a hand on my shoulder stopped me.  I brought my head around to his and looked from his hand to my shoulder.  Getting the point he removed his hand.  I started to take off again but an uncharacteristically soft voice stopped me.

"Please don't go Naruto."

I stopped but didn't turn around.

"What exactly do you want from me Sasuke?" I demanded.  How much shit did he honestly think I was willing to put up with? "First you won't quit molesting me.  Then you turn into a whiny little child when I won't play your little games.  What the fuck is your problem?!"

"You are my problem."

_That _made me turn around and look him in the eyes in amazement.

"I would love to know how I am your problem." I sneered at him. 

"Like now for example." He now strangely calm, pointed out logically.  "You run away whenever the conversation takes a serious turn."

This was creepy.  It was like we'd switched places.  I was now the emotional wreck and he was the cool, logical one. Not happening, that's what this was.

"Honestly Sasuke." I replied wearily.  "I'm really just tired of this whole situation.  Just leave me alone from now on."

I started to walk away again, not liking the fact that I was in fact _walking away_, but what else could I do?  I wasn't exactly equipped to deal with this type of situation.

**Running away again, ne gaki?**

_Fuck off Kyuubi._

**Oh, someone is touchy today. You know if you run away this time he won't ever be open to reconciling with you again.  This is in essence, your last chance.**

_Kyuubi aren't you the one who told me to stay away from him?!  Now you want me to make up with him.  _

**Hey, that was before I knew how he really felt.  The Uchiha is quite the actor when he wants to be, but even he can't hide his feelings from me for forever.**

I knew the damn fox was right. Even with everything that that stupid bastard had put me through I would regret it if I let things go the way they were.  Turning around I made my way back to where he was, grumbling all along about stupid foxes and their inability to stick with one decision.

He was no longer there. 

Swearing under my breath, I took off in the direction of his chakra signature.  _Damn bastard, never around when you actually want to talk to him._

Swiftly closing in on his chakra I noticed it was close to the village.  The weird thing was I sensed another person's chakra right next to this.

As I quietly approached the area where the two chakras currently resided I was anything but prepared for what I saw.

Sasuke was thrusting into Sakura's more-than-willing body, their cries of near release more than evident.

I felt something inside of me shatter into pieces.  The pain was unbearable and I'd never felt anything like it.  Nothing the villagers had ever done could compare to this.  I just stood there the whole time, with this pain filling my entire being, watching them both finally find their release.

"SSSSSaaaasssssssuuuuuukkkkkeeee-kkkuuuuuunnnnn!"  I heard the pink-haired thing yell as it reached what I assumed was its peak.

Sasuke came, right after, the only sound he made was a sort of grunt.

He collapsed on top of her, and that's when it happened.

Whatever had caused my emotions to surface, immediately shut the door and locked them away once more.  I went _numb. _It was as though I had never, no matter how briefly had possessed the ability to feel at all. I welcomed it with open arms. Emotions were overrated, why I had ever wanted them in the first place was beyond me. 

Sasuke was in the process of pulling up his pants, brushing bits of dirt here and there.  Sakura was doing the same.  I disinterestedly observed that there was no blood on her panties before she pulled them up.  Hm, either she went horseback riding a lot or "Sasuke-kun" wasn't her first.  I was betting on the latter rather than the former.

What a gentleman Sasuke was, I mean, he even offered her a hand up from her position on the ground, truly a great example of a shinobi. 

I chose that moment to walk into their little bedroom away from home.

Sakura's face immediately went bright with color and she looked away from me with embarrassment.  Sasuke stared at me openly, gauging my reaction.  Apparently this was the moment I was supposed to explode into tears and hysteria.

Instead I stopped, looked right at Sasuke, and let him take a good look.

His eyes widened. 

I decided I didn't want to spend another night confined indoors, so I turned around and walked back into the forest adding a tenuous excuse as I left over my shoulder.

"Tell Kakashi that I'm training."

"And if I don't?" was Sasuke's reply.

For about the millionth time today I turned around.

"Tell him whatever you want to.  I really don't care."

"You don't care about anything do you?" he asked softly.  "I just fucked Sakura right in front of you and you didn't say or do anything." Sakura had disappeared or it probably would have burst into tears about Sasuke putting their little 'tryst' into such course terms.

"I thought I did." Was my response.

"You thought you did?" he growled angrily. "Either you did or you didn't"

"It doesn't matter anymore." I said emotionlessly. "You've made your choice and I hope you and the pink monstr—I mean Sakura will be very happy. You certainly deserve each other."

"You really are frustrating Uzumaki, Naruto!"  Sasuke cried.

"You know Uchiha," I stated coldly, "you really need to work on your own emotional control.  If I didn't' know any better I would say you'd never received any education on the principles of being a shinobi."

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Sasuke hissed. "I know you have the ability to feel now."

"Funny thing." I sneered at him. "I actually have you to thank for that.  So thanks.  Now you might want to head back to your girlfriend. I think she's feeling your loss."

"Laugh at her all you want." Was his retort. "At least she's still human."

I laughed at him, it was an empty, hollow sound. 

"What is so damn funny?" he asked, puzzlement evident in his features and tone."

"You just paid me a compliment, you imbecile."

"What do you mean?"

"You really think that I want to be human?" incredulity filled my voice.  Scoffing I continued. "You may have youkai blood but you are still so very naive.  The evidence in that is the fact that you would compare me to one.  In fact I can guarantee that these supposed youkai you say are in hiding, if they have any pride as a youkai then they won't want to be anything like you people.  But of course, you wouldn't know this.  You know nothing about part of your own heritage, obviously other than that there are some youkai in hiding. You're lucky I'm not Kyuubi, otherwise you would now be dead for the statement you just uttered."

Sasuke was now—thankfully—silent.

"Now that we understand each other let me give you some pointers, for your own health." I went on. "Don't talk to me unless it's about youkai.  Two I don't give a fuck who you fuck.  Otherwise stay the hell out of my way." With that I took off leaving Sasuke staring at my back.

**Well that didn't go quite the way I thought it would.**

_Don't tell me you're siding with him again._

**Hell no, I hate him again.  Stay away from him.**

_Kyuubi, you have to be the most fickle being I have ever encountered._

**So sue me, **it replied, **it's not my fault that the kid is such a fucking moron. But forget about that you have bigger problems.  You're now back to square one.**

_I don't care anymore Kyuubi._

**You say that gaki, because, you don't know any better again.**

_You stupid fox, I do know better remember I know now what it's like to feel._

**You had a brief taste gaki, it's not like you've had prolonged exposure.  But am worried about what you felt just before you lost it.**

_What?_

**That bastard broke your heart.**

_Oh, so that's what that pain was all about? _ I mused. _That really hurt._

**Don't think your worries are all over now gaki.  Once your emotions return –and I'm sure they will—you're literally going to be in for a world of hurt.**

_I'll worry about that when the time comes._

**All right gaki but don't say I didn't warn you.  Now for a change of subject, where exactly are you going to sleep?**

_Somewhere in the forest, probably the forest floor._

**Are you sure that's really the wisest idea? With that Zabuza guy out on the loose?**

_Let him bring it, you know he's no challenge for either of us._

**Well that kid is nothing to sneer about either.**

_Yeah I know, _I suddenly frowned. _ That kid is going to be a problem_

**Because he's stronger than Uchiha or because you may have trouble maintaining your mask to save the little bastard's ass.**

_Like I care about him, _I scoffed, _it's the kid.  I don't want to have to kill him, but the may force my hand._

**You know gaki I love the fact that you're confident in your abilities but this kid may be as strong as you.  **

_Yeah right, _I scoffed, _Kyuubi are you trying to make me laugh._

**Actually yes,** it chuckled, **but it worked didn't it?**

 I reached an area that I deemed suitable to sleep on.  _All right Kyuubi I'm going to bed now._

**Goodnight.**

_Goodnight._

**End of Chapter 11 Back to the Square One.**

_So that's all for now folks.  Stay tuned and remember, I don't give a shit if your sensibilities are offended by this story.  Guess what?  This is Chapter 11 which means you were interested enough in it to read this far, so you couldn't have been that offended.  Anyway enjoy._


	13. Chapter 12 New Warmth

_Hello all, from the reviews you have left on adultfan and , I can only assume that ya'll like the turn the story has taken. I can only tell you that the story will only get more unpredictable from here on in so I just thought I'd let ya'll know in advance. Hope you enjoy.  
_

**Chapter 12**

The next as I slowly awoke I sensed a chakra signature approaching me from the north. In fact it was a rather curious signature in that it was amazingly pure for a shinobi. Never had I encountered one as pure as this.

Footsteps could now be heard, moving toward me in a slightly hurried pace. I had decided to pretend I was still sleeping, a kunai handy just in case. After all who knew better than me that appearances can be deceiving.

The footfalls ended right as said individual reached me. I inwardly tensed as the figure crouched down. At closer approximation I now knew that this person was the figure in green who had staged Zabuza's death. I would not be able to drop my guard. If he attempted anything I would be ready.

Instead I felt my body being shaken, then intent, I imagine, was to wake me up. And it 'worked.' I dramatically opened my eyes, acting as though I had just awoke from a deep sleep. I blinked, rubbing my eyes and looked up managing to finally get a good look at the formerly masked figure in green.

Unlike before he was wearing pink, almost gown-looking clothing with red circles all over it. He had long shiny black hair, a deceivingly lithe body, and a delicate effeminate face. More than likely the average person would assume he was in fact a female. I knew differently. This being more than evident from his aura. Males' auras lines flow horizontal, female auras flow vertically. His lines were horizontal.

I hadn't yet decided whether to be 'me' or me. The boy decided to start speaking to me, thus interrupting my decision-making process.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked, his voice was gentle, fitting his features and aura to a tee.

What to make to make of this individual who I knew was a classic example of looks being deceiving? I decided to play it by ear until I had deduced exactly how threatening this guy was. I already knew that his stealth was as good, if not better than Kakashi's. That had already pre-raised my ire.

I scratched my head as if in deep contemplation.

"I'm training." Was my reluctant response.

One of his eyebrows arched in surprise. I knew that most shinobi wouldn't reveal the fact that they were a shinobi. Tact is, after all, one of those much sought-after shinobi principles. Good thing I didn't give a shit about shinobi anything. He didn't comment about being surprised at my apparent stupidity.

"Aren't you worried you might get hurt out here all alone?"



"I need no one." I inadvertently let slip, the coldness of my voice also a dead give away.

"I see." Is all he said and I could tell from the look in his eyes that he did indeed see. He knew what loneliness, true loneliness was, but had risen above it and found a new purpose. Yet how he had still maintained this purity that was so a part of him that it clung to him like a second skin was curious.

"No you don't." I said getting up, brushing off some of the dirt that had accumulated overnight on my clothes. "If you knew of what I am speaking you wouldn't be so quick to answer."

He sat down fully on the ground now, starting to pick local herbs, putting them in a basket he had brought with him.

"I may not know exactly what you have been through." He said finally after a long moment of silence. "But I do know what it is like to be without a purpose."

"I am not without a purpose." I stated coldly. "I find it amazing that you can assume all these things about someone you have just met."

H e started laughing after that.

"You're right of course. I really have no idea what I'm talking about." He sobered up quickly. "But don't you have one person who has done something for you? Made you feel something. It could be anything at all."

Iruka and Sasuke's image came to mind unbidden from my mind. I immediately brushed them away.

"Maybe I've felt something." I replied tersely "But it fleeting, as though it was never there."

He cocked his head in ascension.

"Well that's a start isn't it?"

I laughed grimly at that. This guy may have been older than me by a few years but he was alarmingly naïve. How a shinobi had gotten to be this way at least deserved a laugh.

"Exactly how did you get this naïve?" I had to ask him. "I know what you are and it doesn't exactly promote being in touch with your emotional side."

His eyes narrowed at me, probably somewhat alarmed that his secret had been deciphered so easily. Then they softened and looked on me with something akin to sympathy.

"I feel sorry for you." He murmured softly. "You don't get to really live life, you're too busy living behind a mask."

My own eyes widened at this. _How did he…? I see so he's a shinobi for a reason. And what is this warmth I'm starting to feel? I only just the met him, how the hell is this happening? _I was attracted to this guy and he hadn't even touched me! This was insufferable and not happening.



Besides from appearances this guy already had someone who made him feel. If there was something I didn't need it was someone to make me feel. I was perfectly fine with never feeling anything again. The only thing emotion had done for me so far was to tie me up so tightly in knots of confusion that I couldn't think straight. If I had to choose that over being emotionless I would choose the former over the latter thank you very much.

"So how is Zabuza?" I asked tactlessly, no point in pretending with this guy. I may have to end up killing him anyway. What could he possibly do? Tell Kakashi? "He looked like shit the last time I saw him. I'd really hate to see what you did to your enemies if that's what you do to your allies. Though, I will admit for a diversionary tactic it definitely worked."

No longer surprised by anything I had to say he smiled and smoothly replied.

"He's fine and regaining his strength quicker than I would have thought."

"Ah." I nodded in seemingly understanding. "So that's what the herbs are for."

He smiled again weakly. "You caught me. The herbs around this area are renowned for their healing abilities, and so far they've lived up to their reputations."

"So Zabuza is that special someone for you, ne?" I said succinctly, knowing I hit the nail on the head as his face flooded with color.

"Yes." He replied shyly "But not for the reason you think. Zabuza gave me a reason for being, a purpose in life, if you will. Once my former existence had been nullified he found me and gave me a chance to serve him. He is like a beloved parent."

"Funny." I dryly retorted. "_Beloved_ is not exactly the word I would use to describe him."

He fell on the ground laughing at that, tears starting to form in his eyes.

"You're right." He managed to choke out. "He doesn't exactly lend that idea out to very many people does he." His eyes grew serious again. "Nonetheless that is what he means to me. What you thought I was in love with him?"

His face scrunched up in horror.

"He's like fifteen years older than me! Not to mention straighter than a board! "

"You can't really blame me." I pointed out logically. "You're the one who gets all emotional whenever you talk about him. Those statistics are known to normally point toward more romantic feelings."

He looked at me incredulously.

"What?" I asked. "It's true."

He started to chuckle again, this time under this breath.



"What is your name?" he asked looking at me warmly, a sudden gleam in his eye that I was becoming alarmingly familiar with.

"Uzumaki, Naruto." I replied cautiously, my guard immediately going up. "And yours?"

"Haku." He non hesitantly quipped.

I arched an eyebrow f my own at that.

"What no surname?"

His eyes grew dark and went somewhere far from where we were.

"I don't claim that name." was all that was uttered. That was a hint to me to not pursue the subject even further.

Wherever his mind has wandered off to it came back to him because the next thing I know he was eyeing me flirtatiously.

My real question is why I kept meeting these males who would not leave me alone! And why were they all gay?! Were there no straight men left in the world?

Inwardly I sighed.

**Gaki how do you keep meeting these people? ** Kyuubi had woken up uncharacteristically early for it and was now evidently actively engaged in listening in on my conversation with Haku.

_If I knew I would stop it Kyuubi,_ I swore, _trust me. Do you think this shit makes my life any easier?_

**Well it's not a total surprise that you're such a hit with guys, **Kyuubi mused, **even in that horrendous orange you are still undeniably adorable. Very uke material.**

_Kyuubi?_

**Yes?**

_Shut up, you're not helping the situation. So unless you have an actual probably theory as to why this annoying phenomenon keeps occurring I really don't want to hear it. And besides, _I added rather cheaply, _the whole orange thing was your idea._

**You ungrateful gaki! Here I am trying to help you out with your conundrum and all you can do is insult me. **It sniffed as though I had really hurt its feelings. **I'm going back to sleep, **as though that had been its intent the entire time, and surprisingly enough it did.

Now that the fox had been dealt with I now had to deal with yet with my current problem. In addition, this guy was older so he would probably be a bit more difficult to deter.



Speaking of him, he was currently snapping his fingers in front of my face as if trying to bring me out of a trance.

I caught his fingers mid-snap.

"I was not in a trance." I stated.

"I know." Was all that he said.

Then realizing I was still holding his fingers I attempted to release them. Haku had other ideas, though. He grabbed the hand that was holding his fingers captive and dragged me into his arms like in those stupid old movies when the male tips the female and kisses her.

"What are you doing?" I asked emotionlessly.

He managed to look sheepish.

"I was trying to be a bit romantic. From the look on your face I gather I failed."

"You would be right." I replied drolly. "You do realize that that move went out about, oh wait, it was never in"

He managed to look somewhat chastised, before he smoothly placed my body on the ground, before placing his own on top of mine, his hair serving as a sort of curtain.

"And what are you doing now, would you say?" was the only thing I managed to get out before he nipped at my ear.

"I think you know what I'm doing." He whispered into my ear, sending shudders down my body. "Ever since I saw you the other day I can't get you out of my mind." Then all talking ceased as his mouth came crashing down on mine.

His kissed lacked the awkwardness of Sasuke's. This was someone who had had experience, I knew, as his lips moved confidently over mine. He wasn't patient for strictly lip to lip contact for long. He slanted his head, his tongue licking my bottom lip repeatedly begging for entrance. _What the heck, _I mused, _so far it's not so bad, he's definitely a better kisser than Sasuke._ Willingly parting my lips his tongue didn't waste the opportunity. It immediately dove in.

I had tried but I couldn't contain this unexplained attraction I held for this boy that I had never met. Never had I felt such a strong connection to anyone so quickly, if ever.

My arms wrapped his neck, encouraging him to continue his current ministrations in my mouth. He more than complied, pulling my shirt out the waistband of my horribly orange pants, sliding both his hands along the bare skin of my back.



I moaned when his hands moved downward to cup my ass, bringing out bodies so close that our still-clothed erections touched. At the contact I broke our kiss, arching my back with a moan. He too, moaned and started grinding his hips into mine, prolonging that scintillating sensation.

"Ha-Haku" I moaned. "I-I can't."

"Now, Now, Naruto." Haku managed to pant out, "Hold on a little longer. I'd hate for you to come without me."

Grinding his hips against mine for one last round, we both came at the same time, Haku yelling my name once he'd reached his own peak. I bit his shoulder to keep from crying out, but gods did it feel good. Haku interrupted my reverie.

"So did it feel good?" he asked laughing softly.

Strangely enough I didn't feel any of the awkwardness with him as I had with Sasuke.

"Surprisingly yes." Was my mumbled reply as I felt drowsy, almost ready to drop off again.

"Hey don't fall asleep on me." Running his hands through my hair, he softly chastised me. "One would think you didn't like what we just did."

Unexplained warmth went through me again. _What is it about Haku that makes me feel so comfortable and loved, _I mused, _I've never met him before and it wasn't exactly under the best of terms._ Of course technically speaking Haku was an enemy. Not my enemy though. I was technically not a shinobi, at least not really, so I didn't consider him an enemy.

"Well." Haku suddenly spoke. "I have to be getting back to Zabuza." He got up from his position on the ground, my body already missing its warmth. But admittedly he was right. I also needed to be getting back before Kakashi and the others sent out the bloodhounds.

_Hmmm, would that they did find me here 'consorting with the enemy.' I could finally end this farce and be free to do what I originally had intended._

Getting back to reality I too, stood up, stretching as I did so, I was suddenly grabbed and kissed. I relaxed as I saw it was Haku and leaned into the embrace.

"It was nice meeting you Naruto." Breaking the kiss with a soft wet _smack_ he suddenly skipped off turning to utter those words before he left his steps light and airy as he disappeared.

I found myself smiling, only to find that expression disappear when I observed Sasuke passing Haku just before he disappeared. Sasuke glared at Haku as he passed, then transferred his glare to me once he'd passed him.

I felt my features move into their usual impassiveness as he approached.



"Let me guess." I found myself using sarcasm. "You're all wondering where I've been, staying up all night going insane with worry?" I put my finger to my chin as if contemplating one of the great mysteries of life. "Oh wait, did Sakura finally die from ingesting too much air into her system?"

At his unchanging glare I continued with my little game.

"I'm still wrong? Hmmmm, I guess you'll have to fill me in on the way back." Making good on my words I turned towards the general direction that Tazuna's house lay in…only to be stopped by Sasuke slamming me into a nearby tree.

"Did you let him touch you?" he growled into my ear. "Did he fuck you long and hard like I did?"

"I'm sorry." I droned back at him, tonelessly, "I don't speak petulant children gibberish. However, when you're ready to speak like a mature human being feel fee to let me know." I shrugged out of his hold easily enough, going in he same direction. Both of us walked back to Tazuna's house in silence.

**End of Chapter 12 New Warmth**

_All right ya'll once again another chapter that is probably unexpected, especially to those who were hoping he would end up with Sasuke. I told you not to assume things just because it was under sasunaru for now. But don't assume he won't end up with Sasuke either. Truth is you will just have to wait and see._


	14. Chapter 13 Breakthroug OA Uxpd Kind

_I don't own Naruto or any of its characters._

_Okay anyone who has read this story in the past will definitely be shocked at the turn of things in this chapter. This is who he will end up with. Don't like don't read it. I don't write stories with everything planned out. A lot of times these things just happen and that's how it was here. I will also warn you that this is a very long chapter._

_Thanks,_

_narugal101_

**Chapter 13 Breakthrough an Unexpected Kind**

Sakura and Sasuke were uncharacteristically silent the next morning.

_Well maybe they actually feel ashamed, _I mused, _well maybe on Sakura's part. Sasuke doesn't have the mental facilities to filter such things as morality._ Whatever the case I didn't question it after that. Silence was a solace I hardly ever got to enjoy these days.

Unfortunately it didn't last long.

"Good morning Sasuke, Sakura." Kakashi burst out as he came into the room, not displaying his usual stealth. Looking at the two he pointedly ignored my presence. "How are you two doing this morning?" he asked in a gleeful tone that set off tremors of suspicious throughout my body.

Sasuke gave his usual stoic "hn." while Sakura blushed and murmured a quick "fine."

"Both of you head to the bridge site with Tazuna and keep an eye on him." Kakashi ordered without once taking his eyes off of them.

Nodding their ascent, they did as he ordered taking off almost immediately as if the hounds of hell were snapping at their feet. And just like that I found myself alone with Kakashi.

_This is not good, _I realized the suspicion from before filling me with unease. I started backing away from him as he'd suddenly sat next to me with almost no room to spare.

"What's the matter Naruto?" he asked silkily, well aware of my actions. "Someone might think you were trying to get away from me." He wagged his finger. "We can't have that now can we?"

Moving faster than I'd anticipated, he scooped me up and ran to the bedroom Tazuna's daughter had given him to use while he'd been unconscious.

Without ceremony I found myself thrown on the bed, "What are you doing?" I asked in an empty voice.

"Just taking what you seem to give out so eagerly to everyone else." Was his short reply before he forced his mouth onto mine.

I shoved him off, not giving him the chance to attempt his usual tricks.

"And what exactly is it that I'm offering everyone else?" I asked, genuinely curious.

"Your body." he stated.

I started laughing, the usual hollow sound that strangely sounded more pathetic than usual.

"Exactly how many people do you think I've been with?" I questioned.

"Sasuke and that kid that works with Zabuza." his forehead crinkled into a frown. "Which reminds me to ask you later how the hell _that_ came about?"

"Kakashi two people aren't exactly everyone." I pointed out.

"What about Iruka? Weren't the two of you intimate as well?"

"Uh...no." I shook my head. "How the hell you came to that ridiculous conclusion I don't even want to know." I shook my head at him again. "You know for one of Konoha's most elite shinobi who tells everyone else how to act you are amazingly hypocritical."

"It's because of you!" he suddenly snarled bringing his face within inches of mine. "You confuse the hell out of me! One minute you're the typical happy-go-lucky idiot that everyone loves to hate and the next you're this completely different person who is so far above me that I'll never be able to reach! I have to bring you back to my level somehow!"

Once again his lips came crashing down on mine but due to the shock of his statement this time I didn't resist...

...But neither did I participate. I was listless, the echo of his words reverberating in my head and somehow in my heart.

"Respond damn you!" he demanded against my mouth, his hand going down to my cloth-covered cock, rubbing it attempting to coax a response.

Not surprisingly it worked. A whimper that I'd never thought I could possibly utter made its way out of my mouth.

"That's right." Kakashi murmured into my ear. "By the time I'm done with you, you'll be screaming my name and think only of me from this moment on.

A shot of fear went through me at his words and gave me the strength I needed to push him away. "I don't know what emotions you think you hold for me." I wiped my hand over my mouth as if to wipe away his taste. The words I was going to say next were never uttered due to Kakashi's next action.

He flinched.

"Emotions?" he laughed emptily, the sound causing me to now flinch. "What emotions _don't _I feel for you?! At times I love you so much I think I'll burst! Other times when you purposely hide the real you, I want to shake you until your teeth fall out! I don't care if I don't know every orifice of you yet! I'd willingly spend the rest of my life finding out!"

My head was spinning from the sensations his words aroused.

Then it hit me, it was happening again. My emotions were resurfacing.

_Not now! Not in front of him, _I screamed inwardly. With Haku there had been mild, pleasant warmth but no threat of anything too intense. Sasuke had had an opportunity, but had squandered it. Now Kakashi of all people was causing emotion to once again erupt out of me. And instinctively I knew that if he succeeded it would be impossible to repress.

So I attempted to restrain them...and failed.

Out they came coursing, seemingly, almost visible they were so incredibly vivid. This time they were somehow stronger, especially hate. I hated Sasuke for what he had done to me and hated myself for not being enough. But with the hate there was another emotion just as strong.

Love.

_But for who? _Two faces popped into my mind. Once was obvious, Kyuubi. The other was a bit more unexpected. _Kakashi? Where the hell did that come from?_

To my horror liquid was once again spilling from my eyes.

"What the hell is happening to me?!" I screamed.

Suddenly my body matched my head and felt as though it were being ripped in two. I hardly heard Kakashi yell my name before I fell into unconsciousness.

**Brat, **I head Kyuubi's voice calling. **Are you alive?** My groan was evidently enough to render me among the living.

**You do know what's going on right? **

Dread filled me at its words. _No! How? And why now?! _

**Your emotions, **it stated matter-of-factly, **e****vidently they were the key all along. **

Panic started to fill me. This could not happen. It just couldn't. _But if that's the case then why didn't this happen before with Sasuke?_ I asked it, hating the whiny petulant tone to my voice.

**Because at the time your emotions weren't fully awoken. It was a 'test run' per se. But Kakashi's confession just now, brought them out fully, somehow.**

_All right fine then I'll just get rid of them again. Somehow. _

**No can do.**

The panic welled up faster this time threatening to overwhelm me.

_Why not?_

**Because once you get back all of your emotions there is no turning back.**

_How can you be so calm about this you stupid fucking fox! _I cried. _Don't you care at all that you're leaving me?!_

**Of course I care. It's just that I knew this day would be coming soon. So I was already resigned. **

Mentally slumping I sighed in defeat.

_So there's nothing I can do to prevent this from happening?_

**Nothing, **Kyuubi agreed.

_So what do I do? _I inquired, seemingly calm. After all I did have a plan.

**Just let go, **was all it said and before it lastly added, **know that I love you, brat. You're like the child I never had. Be happy, that's all I could want for you.**

_Thank you Kyuubi, _was all I could say to that. Tears were choking me up. Losing Kyuubi was not an option, nor had it ever been.

**Let go now...and goodbye.**

_I don't think so Kyuubi. You're not getting rid of me that easily._

**What...?**

But before it could interfere I 'let go' except for the single stringent thought that Kyuubi's essence somehow remain. I held onto that one thought as long as I could. Before I realized it I had once again slipped back into unconsciousness.

This time it was Kakashi's voice was the element that brought me back from the brink.

I sat up rubbing my head as I did so. It felt as though a ton of bricks had been dropped on it. As I came out haze I noticed Kakashi had yet to say a word since I'd come out of oblivion. In fact he was outright staring at me.

"What is your problem?" I snapped. "Take a fucking picture it'll last longer."

"Maybe I should." he stammered out. "It might prove that what I'm seeing is just a delusion."

"And that would be what?" I drolled.

He held up a mirror.

"Oh." was all I could utter. My hair was still the same horrid blond and my eyes were still the same common blue. But that was pretty much all that had stayed the same. I had orange-blond _furry _ears in place of my old ones now, as well as a freaking tail of the same color coming out of my ass. My formerly normal hands now formed claw-like appendages, as did my feet from the feel of them.

I was officially fox man.

Oh God.

_Kami, Kyuubi would..._Pain shot through me as I remembered what had happened. My plan had failed.

_What the hell am I supposed to do now?! _I shouted at the empty void it used to occupy. _I don't know what to do without you here to guide me! _As expected no sarcastic tone came back to answer me. At that moment any remaining hope I had retained shattered.

**Shut up would you?! I am trying to sleep here, **grumbled a weary but still tangible, dear and familiar voice.

_It worked?!_

**Yes it worked. And if you ever attempt something so stupid again I'll kill you myself.**

_Yes Kyuubi, _I mimicked not taking any of its threats seriously.

_You are back for good this time, right? No more "One day I'll have to leave" bullshit?_

**That's right, we're fully merged now I'm afraid you're stuck with me for good now. **

_Oh gods, what was I thinking, _I mocked it, _I finally had a chance to be rid of you for good._

**All joking aside brat, it's time you attended to that human. His cries are starting to irritate me. If you need me you know where I'll be.**

As I felt Kyuubi's presence fade into back into the recesses of my mind I felt lighter than I had...well ever.

When I again looked at Kakashi he was still staring at me.

"Seriously, you have to stop doing that. It's making me uncomfortable." I snapped at him.

"Sorry." he apologized. "Now could you perhaps explain why you've been staring into space for the last five minutes?"

"I was speaking to Kyuubi if you must know." I said offhandedly. The look of shock on his face, however made me want to take the words back immediately. Fear once again took hold of me.

The realization that I was scared of what this man thought of me did not make me happy. I also did not like the clutching sensation that my heart kept repeating. I decided that if he was going to reject me it was going to be on my terms.

"Don't tell me you didn't know?" I sarcastically remarked. "The great Copy Shinobi Hatake, Kakashi was caught by surprise? I think the world is coming to an end."

When that failed to emit a response I found myself unable to look at him any longer, and so turned around. "Just leave." I said as coldly as I could manage. "I don't need you or really anyone for that matter."

My heart belied my words, _"Don't leave!" _it screamed, _"Don't leave me alone!"_

Instead of hearing a door shut behind me I felt a pair of warm arms wrap themselves around my middle.

"Stop being stupid." Kakashi whispered. "It doesn't suit you. And I was just surprised, you caught off guard." He chuckled. "Then again you are always doing that."

"How would you know what suits me?" I whispered back at him, shivers running down my back now with the prolonged physical contact.

Evidently he was just as shaken, the proof of this in the arousal that was currently poking me in the back. "Give me a little credit." was murmured as he bit down on my now sensitive-to-the-touch ear. At my moan of pleasure I felt him smirk through his mask. "I am not some prepubescent child who runs at the first sign of trouble."

_Like Sasuke. _The words were left unspoken but still there all the same.

The pain from his reminded betrayal stabbed through my heart all at once like a rusty knife, slowly and painfully. Yet the pain didn't send my emotions back into the void as before. This time it remained...and ruined the mood for me.

I pulled myself out of Kakashi's embrace and turned around to face him.

"What's wrong?" he asked genuinely confused. And who could blame him. I was the epitome of unpredictability, after all.

"I can't do this right now Kakashi." was my reply blunt and to the point.

"I see." is all he said, his voice already growing cold, his eyes as empty as they always were. "Sorry to have bothered you. Was all that was uttered before he started for the door.

"Wait." I found myself saying.

He stopped mid step and turned around to face me, his eyes alight with anger.

"Wait for what Naruto?" he demanded. "For you to go back to some moronic Uchiha, who, by the way, was screwing Sakura the other night? If you want to waste yourself like that go ahead. That is of course, your prerogative, but don't expect me to be there to catch you when you fall."

I shook my head at him, attempting to let my heart do the talking instead of my head. "You really are an idiot Kakashi." I said softly, slowly heading back into his arms, willingly this time, embracing him. "I knew about Sasuke and Sakura the entire time." I murmured into his jacket. "Try to understand Kakashi. I just now regained the ability to even feel emotions. Give me some time to sort everything out."

His arms came around me. "How much time are we talking Naruto?" he groaned into my neck. He ground his arousal into my hips. "I honestly don't know how much longer I can wait."

"I don't know." I panted, whimpering at the contact as his brushed my own growing need I bit my lips to keep from crying aloud. Despite my efforts the tightening of my body and growing erection must have alerted him to my own hesitation to wait.

"If you're really serious about wanting to wait, we'd better stop." he growled into my ear. "Before this gets any harder." His words caused my erection to swell even further.

Kakashi just chuckled. "Speaking of which."

In the end somehow we managed to back away from each other.

"It's amazing how much more attracted to someone you can be with emotions." I quipped, once I'd regained my ability to breathe, making an innocent and logical observation.

Kakashi groaned, "Naruto you'd better leave before I really do lose control."

"You're a jounin."

"So?"

"So that means you're one of the elite. Control should never be an issue." He laughed slapping one of his hands over his head, "Naruto do you think you're the only one who hides behind a mask?"

I eyed his mask speculatively.

"Not literally he argued. "I meant figuratively. Just because I fit all the specifications of a shinobi doesn't mean that's who I really am." Sighing, he looked at me in exasperation. "Do you get it now?"

I nodded slowly in ascension, "I believe so but why hide yourself? I do it out of necessity. Why do you do it if you don't have to?"

"Because." he went on to explain, "people have certain expectations of you and you do the best you can to satisfy them."

I frowned at him.

"What did I say?"

"You humans are so strange." I told him. "You say one thing and mean something else entirely. Why don't you just say what you mean?"

That rare look of confusion lit his face once more. "What do you mean by 'humans' Naruto? You're human as well."

"That is incorrect." I explained. "I have not been human since Kyuubi was sealed inside of me."

"Oh." was his response. "Alright I stand corrected." He scratched his head. "One day we're going to have to sit down and talk about this whole situation. However, right now we're on a mission so it will have to wait." By the way," he added on, "what do you plan on doing about those?"

He gestured toward my new appendages.

"Oh yes." I suddenly remembered my new little 'problem.' "A little glamour will take care of that."

"Glamour?" Kakashi tilted his head questioningly, not unlike a dog. "Don't you mean henge?"

"No I mean glamour." I stated matter-of-factly. "Henge is a transformation where for a brief time you are a copy of whatever person or object you choose to emulate. Glamour simply covers or adds something you want people to see. Or in my case," I pointed towards my extras, "what I don't want people to see. It's not real, simply an illusion. However to people with eye kekkai genkai such as Hyuuga, Neji or the Uchiha clan, glamour is easily discerned." So in that case I do have to use a hen--"

My explanation ended abruptly as Kakashi erupted into laughter.

I arched an eyebrow at him inquiringly.

"Sorry." he said in between fits of laughter. "It's just that Sakura's only real redeeming quality is her 'superior' intellect and now she doesn't even have that."

Getting serious again the laughter died down. "You really have done an amazing job of convincing people that you're a completely different person, haven't you? Hell you even had me fooled for a while."

I shrugged. "Desperate times."

"Well as I said before." Kakashi said straightening up. "We'll have to talk about all of this at a later time. Right now we'd better get to the bridge with the other two."

"I'm going to stay behind for a bit"

He took a step back at that. "You know just because I know you're not an idiot doesn't mean you don't have to listen to me."

"Do you really think you could stop me?" I looked at him daring him to disagree.

He looked at me appraisingly for a long moment. "Probably not," was his final deduction. Then his eyes lit up with amusement, "but it would be fun to try." With that he took off without any warning, but shouted behind his shoulder. "At least show up to help me out with that Haku kid. Taking Zabuza and him both on could be more than even I could handle."

"Fine." Is all I shouted back at him before he disappeared from my view.

_So Gato decided to betray Zabuza, _I thought amusedly. Now that was highly ironic.

**You're going to help out, huh, **Kyuubi remarked dryly. **Well I am going back to sleep now. It's not like I can help you anymore, anyway.**

_Kyuubi you know you were never just a source of power to me, _I argued.

**I know, it's just a little frustrating not being able to help at all anymore.**

_Kyuubi, you stupid fox, as usual you are wrong, _I teased it. _I will still need advice. With your advanced years you have once thing I lack, experience._

**Despite your attempt at humor, you are actually right. Thanks to the gods that be. I was going to be pissed if I was stuck with you and of no use.**

_Hey I resent that, _I replied good-naturedly, _you're lucky you got stuck in this body._

**Yes, because I so love being stuck in a uke's body. You know if I was still in my body I would totally be a seme.**

_Gods all you ever think about is sex!_

**You try being sealed in a body for twelve years. See what else you find to think about .**

Conceding defeat I turned my thoughts to the situation at hand. Apparently two chakra signatures were headed towards this house. From the color of their auras their intent was to kill.

Tazuna's daughter was behind the house hanging laundry when they made their appearance. Inari, the grandson, was nearby. I hid in the background and watched to see what the sniffling little brat would do once they took his mother hostage. My theory? He would sit and cry for someone to save him.

Much to my surprise once he'd gotten over his initial tantrum from his mother needlessly sacrificing her freedom and probably life for him, it seemed to instill some courage in the brat.

Although he went about it all wrong, charging straight at them with no strategy, and worse of all no weapon. One of them men saw him and went at him, and unlike Inari he was armed with a kantana.

I sighed, now I would have to intercede.

Using a replacement jutsu I quickly got Inari out of the way. Setting him aside I took the two men out and cut Tazuna's daughter out the rope the two had used to tie around her hands.

Shoving me out the way once she was free she ran over to Inari. "Inari!" she cried smothering his face between her breasts. "Mommy's brave little boy! Are you all right?!"

I felt bile enter my mouth .

**Is she trying to kill the kid herself? **Kyuubi snickered.

I mentally shuddered. _I don't want to know._ Just as I was turning to go Inari's voice stopped me.

"Naruto?" he asked in a quiet voice.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks!" he launched himself at me. I awkwardly patted his back. I don't deal well with hugs and such.

I got down on my knee so I was eye level with him.

"Inari." I told him. "From now on I want you to be brave like you just were. Can you do that for me?"

"Sure." he beamed at me.

"Not that it's bad to cry." I reassured him. "Like when you're happy."

At that moment his eyes filled with tears.

"What is it?" I asked softly.

"I'm happy now." he sobbed. "Now I have a big brother!"

My heart melted at that. "Thank you Inari." I said sincerely. "I have to go help my teammates now. Be brave and protect your mom okay?"

"Sure Naruto!" he yelled after me as I left. "I'll get everyone together and we'll back you up!"

I smiled inwardly. The kid had come a long way.

I concentrated on the chakra signatures as I approached the bridge site. Sakura was guarding Tazuna, Kakashi was locked in one-on-one combat with Zabuza, and Haku had trapped Sasuke inside ice mirrors, fully utilizing his kekkai genkai. Out of the three Sasuke needed my help the most, as much as I was loathe to help him.

_I'll do the minimum._

My 'mask' made its usual loud hyperactive entrance complete with no stealth.

"I'm here!" I announced loudly. Kakashi 'lectured' me with is voice but his eyes conveyed relief.

I smirked.

"Go help Sasuke!" he yelled at me.

"Yes your highness!" I saluted him and jumped into the mirrors where Sasuke was currently getting his ass handed to him.

When he saw me he was not happy to say the least.

"What the hell are you doing!" he screeched. "You should have stayed outside the mirrors! That way we could have attacked from both sides!"

"Save it." I snapped at him. "The only reason I am even helping you is for appearances sake. Don't piss me off more than you already have."

Before I could reply Haku's signature senbon needles came flying out. They deliberately missed me and hit Sasuke.

"Looks like you need to worry about yourself." I taunted him. "You're the one getting hit, not me."

He growled at me and I felt a burst of power from him.

_Oh shit. _His sharingan had been activated which meant he could now see through my glamour.

I performed a quick henge but it was too late.

"So." Sasuke sneered. "You merged with the Kyuubi huh?"

I shrugged. "Maybe you should concentrate on the situation at hand." I advised nastily as another attack of senbons came at him.

I laughed. "You really suck."

"At least I'm human and can feel." he retorted.

I froze for a moment letting his words fully sink in. The anger rose so quickly I barely held a leash over it. It overtook all of my senses until it smothered me. The henge I'd had in place dispelled with an audible pope. I grabbed a handful of nearby senbon needles and threw them at Sasuke.

With no expectation Sasuke's body took the attack and he went down like a ton of bricks. "Am I dying?" he asked me in a weak, pathetic voice when I'd walked over to him.

"No." I snarled at him. "But you'll be out for a while. Even with the sharingan you are only in the way."

"I-I see." was all he said as he fell into unconsciousness. _Finally, _with Sasuke out of the way I could settle this.

"You lied to me." I growled at Haku, still angry from Sasuke's earlier comment.

"About what?" he asked as he slid out of the mirrors, his eyes widening at my appearance.

Seeing myself in one of his mirrors I couldn't blame him. My hair, ears, and tail were standing on end. My eyes had bled red and were more canted than usual. My chakra was also leaking out at a steady rate and was a visible red.

"What are you?" Haku whispered in horror.

Inwardly I flinched. "I'm pissed." I growled at him. "Now tell me why you lied."

"About what?" he asked cautiously.

"Zabuza and you." I hissed. "I never would have let you do those things to me if I'd know."

He visibly paled. "H-How did you find out?" he softly stammered, fear evident in his voice.

"What?" I sneered at him. "You're the only one who can be stealthy? I watched you two fucking each other's brains out. Let me guess," I growled, not guessing at all, "he told you to attempt to seduce one of use to get information."

His silence gave me the answer.

"What I did to Sasuke is going to look like nothing compared to what I do to you!" I snarled at him.

Haku quickly ran back to the safety of his mirrors.

"That trick may have worked with Sasuke, but not me!" I yelled as I ran with my fist extended outward toward the direction Haku had run in. The mirror gave way shattering as if it had never been. Haku quickly slithered into another mirror.

_So you want to play, huh? I guess I'm IT. He'll run out of mirrors eventually._

And sure enough he did. As I shattered his last mirror he attempted his little senbon trick. With a flick of my wrist I send them back at him.

Not expecting this he didn't have enough time to dodge and they hit their mark. Before he had a chance to dodge I hit him in the face, cracking his wannabee ANBU mask in two.

I was about to deliver the final blow when I saw something that stopped me just as I was about to hit him.

"Why did you close your eyes." I snarled at him, the rage I felt at him attempting to manipulate me still close, just beneath the surface. "And why are you crying? If this is your attempt at sympathy it's not going to work!"

"That's not it." he sobbed."

"Then what the hell is it?" I screamed.

"I've failed Zabuza!" he sobbed. "He is the only thing I live for! To be used by him is my only dream and now that dream is over!"

My anger dissipated as though it never had been present.

He continued to cry.

"Shit!" I exclaimed. "You're serious? "You do realize how pathetic that sounds, right?" I asked incredulously. He shrugged.

"Zabuza gave my life purpose when I had lost mine is life. There is nothing worse in life than not having a purpose." The seriousness of his features convinced me that he actually believed this ridiculous drivel.

"You really are pathetic." I drilled unsympathetically. "Because of your disillusioned belief how many innocents have you killed?"

Again he shrugged. "As many as Zabuza deemed necessary."

Steeling my resolve I grabbed a kunai from my pouch.

"I'm afraid I can't let you live any longer. Kyuubi appointed me to take care of anyone who used their youkai abilities—no matter how weak—to needlessly kill."

His eyes widened at that. "Youkai abilities?"

"All humans with kekkai genkai abilities at one time or another have youkai blood intermingled somewhere along their bloodline." I explained as I prepared to attack.

"I see." He quietly whispered, eyes closing in resignation, he lowered his arms in a waiting embrace, prepared to fully welcome death.

With no warning I took off, kunai raised to strike Haku directly in the neck to lessen suffering.

Just before I would have connected Haku's eyes shot open and he grabbed my descending arm mid-strike. "I'm sorry Naruto, I can't die just yet."

Taking off with a sudden burst of speed he headed in the direction of where Kakashi and Zabuza were currently engaged.

I saw with dawning realization what he planned to do.

_The poor bastard,_ I thought, _he really did love Zabuza._

I didn't have to actually see Kakashi preparing to plunge his Chidori into Zabuza only to have it land into Haku's waiting, willing body to know that it happened. The smell of blood and hearing Haku's final breath and gasp "Zabuza." as he died told me how the event had gone down.

Zabuza being the idiot he is, laughed in delight, saying something to the extent of what a treasure he'd found in Haku, a guttersnipe.

He attempted to attack Kakashi after saying those words, using the added weight of Haku's body weighing Kakashi down to his advantage, but in no way could he match the superior copy shinobi's speed.

Getting Haku's body out of the way, Kakashi gently laid it down nearby and closed his now vacant, empty eyes.

He looked up at Zabuza hi eyes lit with fury.

Just as they both went on the attack, Gato's gang of miscreants and mercenaries appeared along with Gato himself.

At Zabuza's blood soaked, haggard appearance Gato sneered.

"Looks like they did a number on yo--" his sentence quickly faded as his attention was diverted by Haku's still, still body. "So." he snickered at Haku's corpse. "They got you before I could. Too bad I still owe you for what you did to my arm!" This drew attention to his left arm that was encased in a splint.

Gato drove his cane into Haku's body.

A spark of fury raged through me. "Are you just going to let him defile Haku that way?!" I yelled in accusation at Zabuza.

"Be quiet you food!" he hissed at me. "Haku is dead what does it matter?"

He and Kakashi had since ceased fighting since they no longer had a reason to.

"If you really mean that," I coldly uttered, "then you're even more of a fucking bastard than I originally thought."

"Naruto." Kakashi softly lectured. "He is no longer the enemy, not right now, anyway."

"I don't give a shit about Gato!" I informed him. "If Zabuza really means what he said I'll kill him myself."

Zabuza having overheard arched an eyebrow at that. "You kill me," he scoffed openly, "as if you'd stand a chance in hell."

I just looked at him, my eyes I'm sure mirroring my rage.

"Naruto," Kakashi admonished. "your eyes are going red."

"Good." was my only reply. Zabuza noticed this too, his eyes widening just a little before narrowing back again to his customary scowl.

Haku lived for you." I growled. "You took advantage of that unfailing devotion and had him commit acts that went against his very nature." I paused. "You knew this yet pressed him anyway. He didn't care, though. He was so devoted to you and your ridiculous dream it killed him, yet he died happily. That I do not take issue to, it's the fact that you don't care at all that he died. You...don't...care... You fail to see that one of the truly amazing things in life is have someone truly love you despite your flaws. And you're just going to throw him away as if he were yesterday's trash."

Water was leaking out my eyes as I said this. The whole situation was too close to my own for comfort, and as such, hit rather close to home.

"You talk too much." Zabuza muttered, his voice strangely thick, tears reluctantly making their way down his face.

At my look of surprise he let out a grim, brittle-sounding laugh. "Are you so surprised that I'm human? Even shinobi in the end are human. We try to forget this fact, but in the end we fail. Or at least I have failed."

I heard a ripping sound as he removed the bandages that had covered his mouth. "Kid." he ordered me. "Hand over your kunai."

Bristling at being commanded I stopped short of sharply retorting at the look in his eyes. "Sure." Was all I said and tossed the kunai to him, which he caught in his teeth due to Kakashi having incapacitated his arms.

_So, _I mused, _he has chosen the same fate as Haku._

It was over incredibly fast. Zabuza raced over to Gato, despite being stabbed repeatedly by Gato's men. He decapitated Gato, sending the crime leader's body flying into the river below, but collapsed afterward.

Gato's men, pissed that their source of payment had been effectively disposed of, decided they would raid the village. Just as they prepared to attack, an arrow landed at their feet.

Inari and the entire village were at the foot of the bridge, armed with pitchforks and such, fully prepared to defend their village.

"Way to go Inari!" I yelled to him, genuinely proud.

I provided some doppelgangers to help out, as did Kakashi. That little trick was all that was need to tip the balance into our favor. All of them went scurrying back into the ship they'd come in.

As everyone celebrated I heard Zabuza ask Kakashi to carry him over to Haku. Kakashi obliged laying him next to Haku's smiling corpse. "I wish," I heard Zabuza murmur to him, "that I could go to where you have gone." Then he died. Strangely enough, snow started falling.

"Snow in summer?" I heard one of the villagers comment.

It was then I saw Haku and Zabuza's life forces go into the sky together. Haku had waited for Zabuza this while time.

I smiled sadly.

Kakashi came over to where I was standing. "Are you all right?" he asked worriedly, checking me over carefully .

"Kakashi," I protested, "cut it out! I'm fine. It wouldn't do for Sasuke and Sakura to see yo--."

My statement was interrupted as Sakura's cries that I'd been trying to ignore became louder.

"Is Sasuke...?" Kakashi trailed off questioningly.

"Unfortunately, no," I replied, truly regretting the fact that I had not, "I incapacitated him for a while."

Kakashi gave me a pointed look.

"What?" I asked innocently. "I didn't kill him, just knocked him out."

Kakashi started chuckling, but stifled it when Sakura's sobs, turned to squeals of delight.

"It would seem he'd woken up." I observed tonelessly.

"I almost feel sorry for him." Kakashi remarked just as dryly as I had. "Waking up to _that _hanging all over him. Almost."

We both looked at each other and started laughing.

When Sasuke finally gathered enough energy to stand he immediately sought me out. I had henged back into my normal human form, so all he saw was the normal me. He looked confused.

_Good, _I thought, _let him think he was imagining things. It will make things easier on me in the long run._ He looked about ready to kill Sakura, though, as she kept hanging all over him.

_I hope you're happy with the choice you've made Sasuke, _I conveyed to him silently. _I'm just glad I found out what kind of person you are before it was too late._

**One day he will regret it, brat.**

_How can you be so sure? _I asked it bluntly. _You no longer have precognition._

**Some things you don't need precognition to see.**

_What abo-- _I went to ask it but Kakashi tapping me on the shoulder brought me out conversation with Kyuubi.

"Naruto you might want to limit doing that in public." he advised. Realizing he was right I made a note to ask Kyuubi about it later.

"Thank you for coming, though." He said out of the blue.

"It's fine." I responded offhandedly. "I said I would didn't I?"

"True." He conceded, scratching his head. An awkward silence followed soon after.

"So." I mused. "Should we bury Zabuza and Haku and then head back to Konoha?"

"Sounds good." Kakashi agreed.

As we buried the two Sakura bitched about getting her clothes dirty. At her blatant disrespect I snapped at her, "Sakura for once in your selfish life shut up."

Her mouth dropped open in surprise. "Sasuke!" she wailed once the initial shock had worn off. "Aren't you going to say something to him?"

I gave him a sneering glare, daring him to say something.

Ignoring my look, he glanced at her. "Sakura we didn't get married. We fucked, _once_." He emphasized. "And it wasn't even that great." He attached at the end just for added for cruelty.

Sakura's face flushed in humiliation and she ran into the forest, the beginning of deep, painful, and heartbroken sobs not escaping my ears.

_Shit he does remember, _I cursed mentally.

"You are such an ass." I hissed at him, once Kakashi was out of hearing range. "That was unnecessarily cruel, even for you."

"Awww," Sneered Sasuke, "Naruto went and got a heart. Pray tell when did this miraculous event take place?"

"When Kakashi made me come." I lied nastily. The result was immediate, his face fell, listless in shock.

I went back to burying the remaining corpse, ignoring the f act that he was now staring at me. "How long?" he questioned quietly.

"Not while we were fucking or whatever you want to call what we had." I snapped, not looking at him. "Disloyalty is your forte not mine."

He actually winced at the accusation. "If I hadn't..." he trailed off the unspoken question blatantly obvious..

I sighed. "It doesn't matter now Sasuke." I looked at him sadly. "Dwelling in the past has never solved any problems. I highly doubt it will start now. I'll put it this way. You broke my heart and killed off any emotion that I may have ever been able to feel for you, except hate."

What if--?" he suddenly quipped.

I shook my head. "Just stop it." I admonished him. "There's nothing you can say or do. You had your chance and blew it."

"I won't accept that!" he exclaimed. "I had you first! You are mine and always will be!" He tried to grab me, I dodged easily.

"Don't even think about touching me!" I hissed. "If you want me to even be able to tolerate your presence I suggest you cease and desist with this ridiculous, childish behavior!"

I sifted through the dirt of Haku's grave, sadness overtaking me.

Sasuke slumped in defeat. "For now I will give in to your demands, Naruto." he conceded. "But I will get stronger than you somehow and take you from Hatake by force if necessary."

"That will never happen." I said with certainty. "And I suggest you call Kakashi, _sensei._ Someone who is so substantially weaker than someone else has no right to be disrespectful."

He arched an eyebrow at that. "You really love him don't you?"

That statement shook me up. I realized right then and there that I loved Kakashi for certain. The emotion was much more intense and deep than it had ever been with Sasuke. "Yes." I replied wholeheartedly. "I do."

"Good." Sasuke shot back. "It will be that much more gratifying to rip you away from him."

He went back to work after that, nonchalantly, as though he hadn't just threatened my happiness.

Before I cold contemplate the situation any longer, Kakashi and Sakura made reappearance. Seeing Kakashi I suddenly felt a bit shy.

_Shy? _I reprimanded myself. _Come on it's just Kakashi! It's not as though anything is really different._

**It is with emotion, **Kyuubi cut in.

_Don't do that Kyuubi, _I chastised it, _Some thoughts are private, you know._

**Yeah, yeah, **it mocked, **what else do you expect? It's not as though I have anything better to do.**

_That is no excuse!_

**Sure it is. Anyway I'm still astounded by how quickly you've taken to feeling, well feeling. I wonder why you were so unstable with the Uchiha bastard, **it observed.

I shrugged.

"You're doing it again." Kakashi's voice against my ear, sent shivers down my spine. To my horror I felt an embarrassed blush making it's way across my face.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

Kakashi blinked.

"Are you blushing?" he asked unbelievingly. "And did you just apologize?"

"What about it?" I grumbled, his pointing it out making it worse.

I observed him smirking, evident even with the mask on. And I didn't like the sudden glint in his eyes.

"I-I've got to go clear my head." I stuttered an excuse and took off fast into the woods.

Kakashi must have given some other flimsy excuse because he was behind me before I'd noticed.

He grabbed me mid air and we both went tumbling to the ground. He had ensured that he was on the bottom so he absorbed most of the shock.

We were still a tangle of limbs when we finally landed. Quickly checking to ensure he was unhurt I untangled myself from him and attempted to once again take off.

Kakashi's hand grabbed mine and dragged me back down to him. Flipping our bodies so that he was now the one on top I felt myself blushing at the suggestiveness of our position. "What's wrong Naruto?" he asked, his voice taking on a husky note. "One might think you were embarrassed."

"Get off me!" I protested, attempting to push off his considerately larger frame.

"No." he said simply. "Not until you tell me what brought this on."

"What about Sasuke and Sakura?" I asked, desperate to change the subject.

"With my clone." was his prepared response. "Now quit trying to change the subject and answer the question."

I had officially run out of options, except youkai tricks, which I refused to resort to with Kakashi. "I love you." I blurted out.

"Huh?" was all he said his eyes going blank.

Ha, he hadn't expected that. With his shock I was able to lose my hands from his grip. I crossed my arms, or as close as I could in my current position.

"You heard m--." My statement was cut off by his lips coming down on mine. My lips automatically parted for his tongue, my arms going around his neck, letting him claim my mouth as thoroughly as he'd claimed my heart. Soon just kissing wasn't enough. My body grew hot with an all consuming need. A need that had not been present in any of my other sexual encounters. I ground my erection against his, satisfaction filling every pore of my body as the sound of his growl filled my ears at the contact.

"Naruto," he groaned into my neck, "I don't think I'll be able to stop this time."

"I don't think," I panted, "I mentioned anything about stopping did I?"

"Thank the gods!" Kakashi exclaimed. His mouth swooped back down on mine. Before his kiss had been somewhat controlled as though he were holding something back. Such was not the case now. His tongue demanded that I entangle mine with his, a mere mirroring of his later intentions.

Wanting to see his eyes I gasped as I saw his face fully in the light for the first time. The other times we'd kissed it had been dark or he'd kept his mask on.

It's said that no one's face is perfectly symmetrical, but his was pretty damn close. My hands were on his face before I could catch myself.

He flinched at the contact.

I quickly removed my hands. "Sorry." I mumbled.

"It's all right." he quickly remedied. You just caught me by surprise."

I hesitated after that, my hands itching to trace those perfect features to see if they were real. At my hesitation an amused smirk lit that beautiful, but still virile face. His warm, warm hands lifted my own to his face.

"Go ahead Naruto." he murmured.

And I did. I traced every contour of his face. The only mar was the scar on the left side where his sharingan was located. My mouth went to that scar, opening to trace it with my tongue.

From his gasped. "Naruto!" he must have liked it because he fisted my hair. I continued to explore his face with my mouth until I reached his own mouth. I traced his mouth with my tongue, biting his lips until I drew blood.

His breathing grew ragged as I licked away the red droplets that appeared on his lips and sucked to catch any remaining.

"You taste good." I murmured into his ear, delighting in the answering growl that rumbled from his chest at my words.

"Do I now?" he replied, his voice deeper than usual."

"Yes you do." I purred. "It makes me want you to fuck me until I can't even walk." His breath hitched audibly at that and he attacked my mouth with renewed vigor. Technique and finesse were forgotten, teeth clacked together and our tongues entwines.

The only important thing now was getting as close to each other as possible.

Discovering that he'd divested me of my shirt and jacket all rational thought disappeared as I felt a tongue encircle a cock. Obviously experienced Kakashi swirled his tongue around the head, adding suction to the tip at the same time.

I felt my eyes roll back into my head.

"Kakas--." was all I managed to whimper out, my hands fisting in his hair, welcoming more of that wonderful contact. Just as I'd reached the edge of orgasm, he withdrew that wonderful mouth, leaving my cock weeping at the lost contact.

"I can't have you coming without me now can I?" He growled, flipping my body so my ass was facing upward.

"What are you--?" I gasped out just before I felt something hot and wet enter an orifice of my body that in the past I never would have termed as a turn-on.

"S-Stop Kakashi!" I weakly protested as his tongue went in and out. "That's dirty!"

A finger was pushed in where his mouth had just been, instinctively, it seemed to know where that spot was located. "Oh Gods!" I cried, my hips bucking to meet the rhythm he set. "More Kakashi!" I urged him. "Give me more!"

Adding a second finger he increased the tempo, driving me into even more of a frenzy.

"I'm putting it in Naruto." He panted. And put it in he did. As he thrusted his length into me I froze. His cock was much bigger than Sasuke's and my body literally felt like would tear in two.

I didn't realize I was crying until Kakashi wrapped his arms tightly around me, licking the tears from my cheeks.

"I'm sorry." he growled. "Just wait a minute it will get better." After a long moment I moved, experimenting. I whimpered when his cock hit that spot dead on with my action.

We both groaned simultaneously. "I'm going to move now." he moaned into my neck.

He started out slowly, ensuring he didn't hurt me, which was totally unnecessary.

"Harder and faster!" I urged him.

"You sure?"

"Just hurry." I pleaded with him. "Fuck me." That seemed to be all the encouragement he needed. He withdrew until only the tip was in and then slammed into me full force.

"Just like that!" I screamed. We set a pace with him thrusting into me harshly and me raising my hips to meet his thrusts.

"Naruto." he growled out. "I can't hold on much longer."

"Just...a...little...longer." I panted out after a particularly hard thrust. I locked my legs around his hips, drawing him inside of me even deeper.

Neither of us lasted much longer after that.

With one final drive home, Kakashi came, emptying his seed into me.

That seemed to be all the provocation I needed. I came, screaming his name.

Little aftershocks remained afterwards, running throughout my body, and for a moment I just lay there enjoying the feeling. Finally he withdrew from me, my body instinctively tightening at the action.

"Hold still, Naruto." he cautioned. "We don't have enough time for another round right now."

My eyes widened and he laughed. "When we get to Konoha I'll keep you in bed for at least a week straight."

I sniffed haughtily at that. "If I feel like letting you."

He laughed again, then cursed as he realized how late it had gotten. "We'd better get back."

"Yeah." I agreed.

Quickly we, put our clothing back on, doing our best to remedy our crazy hair.

"We smell like sex." I observed as Kakashi's beautiful flawed face was once again covered.

"No one will know." he dismissed.

"Sasuke will." I stated quietly.

He frowned at that. "That kid has serious issues."

"Don't I know." I conceded. "He claims he's going to get stronger than me and 'rip me away from you.'"

Kakashi looked at me in amazement. "Seriously?" At my nod he shook his head. "Little Sasuke is in for a rude awakening." The sudden gleam in his eye did not put me at ease.

"Just what are you planning?" I asked suspiciously.

"Nothing really." he innocently protested.

I rolled my eyes. "Whatever, I'm going back now."

I started to walk away but Kakashi grabbed me by the wrist and slammed me back first into the nearest tree.

"Wha--." His lips took the words I was about to say as he thoroughly kissed me his tongue drove right through my lips which had already parted in surprise. It was a branding, possessive kiss that should have pissed me off but instead caused me to press even closer.

He broke off the kiss panting, yet looking extremely smug. "What the hell was that for?" I demanded.

He shrugged. "Just felt like erasing any thought of Sasuke you might be having."

I felt a spark of anger. "I can't stand that little fucker." I exploded, my glamour coming undone in my anger. "I tell you I love you and even have sex with you and yet you still think I have feelings for that rat?! You know what Kakashi? Fuck you!"

He laughed! "Calm down Naruto." He reassured me, putting his hand on my shoulder. "I don't still think you love him. You looked sad for a moment so I did the first thing that came to mind to get him out of your head."

I felt my anger drain away and suddenly felt more tired than I ever remembered being. "Sorry." I mumbled. "I've been a little unstable lately."

"It's all right." he soothed. "I'm getting used to it." Then he sighed.

"We'd really better be heading back."

"I guess." I muttered, that being the last thing I wanted to do. Ensuring that my glamour was back in place before, we gradually made our way back to the others.

When we arrived, however, Kakashi's clone was nowhere to be seen.

We looked at each other in apprehension. This was so _not _good.

Sasuke, seemingly, innocent, was putting the finishing touches on the two graves. "I took care of your clone, sensei." Sasuke spat the last word out nastily, without looking up.

Sakura, at the obvious tension in the air, looked between Sasuke, Kakashi, and I nervously. "S-So where were Naruto and you sensei? She stuttered.

**End of Chapter 13**


	15. Chapter 14 Knowing Your Place

_Alright everyone this is the beginning of the chapter where I basically tell "in canon," to go fuck itself and put even more twists on the fic. So if you're one of those who don't like rule breakers….skedaddle._

_Narugal101_

**Chapter 14 Knowing Your Place**

My breath caught as Sakura's question lay in the air for a long moment, unanswered, tension filling the area. I looked at Kakashi beseechingly, _come on, _I urged him with my eyes, _come up with something._

Kakashi, seemingly unruffled quickly dispelled the inquiry with a smooth, "Sakura I was just going to fetch Naruto. After all, our mission is completed and we need to be getting home"

"Okay sensei." She beamed accepting his answer, probably figuring he had no reason to lie to her.

_Thank the gods that Sakura is so simple, _I let out the breath I had unconsciously been holding, _that could have ended badly._ As I turned to follow Kakashi toward the path that would lead us back to the village, a familiar dark glare met mine.

Sasuke.

I glared back at him, openly challenging him to dissuade the excuse Kakashi had given.

He backed down, though before doing so gave me an answer of his own, _this isn't over, not by a long shot._

I rolled my eyes, _thanks for the warning, bastard. _

As we trudged along, Sakura kept chattering meaninglessly, while the rest of us maintained silence.

**So the Uchiha brat is still attempting to claim you as his own, ** Kyuubi decided to suddenly strike out a conversation out of the blue, chuckling in its own sick little way, **talk about not knowing when to give up.**

I sighed, _tell me about it. _Suddenly I remembered something about the fight with Haku. _Kyuubi wasn't Sasuke supposed to go insane or something once his sharingan was activated?_

Kyuubi's former amusement fled at the reminder. **Yes it was. **It went silent for a moment. **We may have a problem here I just suddenly realized something.**

_What?_

**The reason the brat has been so unstable lately just occurred to me. Remember when I cautioned you to be present once his sharingan was activated?**

Realization hit me, o_h shit._

**My sentiments exactly.**

_What—_my conversation with Kyuubi was cut off as I tripped gracelessly over a log that had evidently been directly in my path.

"Shit!" I exclaimed, _if I hadn't been zoning out like Kakashi warned me this wouldn't have happened._

At my sound of discomfort everyone had stopped in their tracks and turned to observe me.

I arched my eyebrow inquiringly at all of them, including Kakashi, "there's nothing to see here people, carry on."

Sasuke just grunted and continued on, Sakura openly gawked at me, and Kakashi was covering his eyes with his hand, so I couldn't see the gleam of amusement.

Then a different kind of gleam altogether entered his eye, one that almost made me blush.

"Actually," Kakashi quipped, "I think this is as good a time as any to stop for the night."

No one made any move to disagree with him, especially not me, I had a conversation with Kyuubi to finish.

As we hustled and bustled about, preparing the campsite, Kakashi explained the sleeping arrangements, "Sasuke and Sakura since you seem to be so _fond _of each other you two can sleep in the same tent."

Sakura squealed in delight, evidently Sasuke's earlier cruel comment forgiven and forgotten at the chance to sleep at his feet, _just like a good little dog, _I mused.

Sasuke oddly enough, didn't protest at all, just nodded.

****

After dinner, Sakura took the first watch while the rest of us went to bed. I was just about to initiate a conversation with Kyuubi when Kakashi's hissed whisper interrupted me.

"Naruto."

"What?"

"I know you were talking with Kyuubi today." He paused as if waiting for me to act shocked or deny it.

"And?" I patiently waited for him to get to the point.

He sighed, "You have to stop doing that so obviously. What if you slip and the council or Hokage see you?"

At his words anger had first filled me but then I realized what emotion what fueling his caution. Worry.

I crawled my way over to his futon, my arms going around his neck. "Don't worry so much." I breathed into his ears, laughing when he shivered, "I won't get caught. I've been doing this for years."

He sat unmoving for a moment, "Yeah, I guess you're right." He eventually whispered back.

For a while we just stood there, holding each other, taking in the way the other breathed, simply enjoying the closeness that we shared, not knowing or caring about anything else that existed.

Eventually the physicality we also shared came into play and it seemed only natural for once in my life to initiate it, and so my mouth sought his instinctively. He responded immediately, his arms tightening around my waist, tongue parting my unresisting lips.

This kiss lacked the ferocity from former times, but filled me with just as much desire and need. Our tongues tangled with each other, our moans muffled by the other's mouth, so as not to alert the others.

His hands were not content to stay immobile for long and strayed down to the globes of my ass, massaging them through the cloth of my horribly colored pants, bringing my manhood into contact with his. We both sighed into each other's mouths at the pleasure derived from this action. Soon we both started grinding our hips against each other, no finesse in our actions, only one goal in mind: to achieve that pleasure and to reach it together.

"Kakashi!" I hissed into his mouth that wonderful haze of white taking over, sending me rocketing skyward. He wasn't far behind, biting my neck to keep from calling out my name.

As we both came out of our euphoria, panting the entire time I realized the time was approaching for Kakashi's watch.

"Kakashi, I think it's about time for your shift."

He cursed as he realized the hour. "Shit you're right." He admitted. Quickly he stood up, checked himself and then started to make his way out the tent.

"Kakashi." I said just before he raised the flap to leave, "aren't you forgetting something."

He turned around and looked at me, confusion lighting his eyes.

I laughed, _it's not everyday you get to see a jounin confused._

I held up his mask, arching an eyebrow at him inquiringly.

He scratched his head in embarrassment, "oops," was all he said as he made his way over and took it from my open hand. Scrabbling his way out of the tent he hurriedly made his way over to his post.

I shook my head after him, wondering how someone so scatter-brained had ended up as one of the most elite of shinobi.

**I hate to interrupt your lovey dovey sequence, **Kyuubi broke in dryly, **but we still need to discuss what we're going to do about that Uchiha pain in the ass.**

**I sighed, **_I know. Gods how I wish I never had to hear that bloody name again!_

**I know, brat, **Kyuubi's voice was uncharacteristically sympathetic, **but we can't just let this situation get out of hand. Unfortunately it's our responsibility.**

_Alright, first we need to analyze why he didn't go into a vegetative state. _I thought about it for a long moment, my mind putting together theories that were quickly going nowhere. Finally a simple conclusion came to me.

_Kyuubi is it possible that he has more youkai blood in him then we originally thought?_

**Hmmmm….that idea has merit, **Kyuubi agreed, **the question is how much more and how?**

_Well I wouldn't be able to explain how at the current moment, considering the limited information we have. The best thing to do for now would be to wait, I think._

Kyuubi sighed, **I guess you're right, that's really all we can do until we get more information.**

As I felt Kyuubi fade back into its niche, I thought more about this while situation. It really did bother me. Then a scary realization filled me. If Sasuke had more youkai blood in him that could make him more of a threat. Not to me, but Kakashi.

A growl tore itself out of my mouth at the thought and a primitive part of my brain screamed, **"**_**No one touches what's mine! No one!"**_

Quickly maintaining control I knew that from now on I would have to be even more careful around Sasuke and start guarding Kakashi diligently. There was no way I was going to let that little bastard threaten the first happiness I had ever known. No way. Although I had sworn to protect the youkai I would gladly break that vow if a certain Uchiha overstepped his bounds.

Game on bastard.

**End of Chapter**


	16. Chapter 15 Doubts and Assumed Heartbreak

_Hello all sorry it's been so long, but woe is to me the struggled of trying to maintain a fic while working two jobs. Hope you enjoy and I'll try not to make it too long until I update once more._

_~morphed reality~_

**Chapter 15 Doubts and Assumed Heartbreak**

Two weeks had gone by since our mission, two long weeks of having not seen Kakashi.

_Honestly, does he care about me at all? _Were questions that would go raging through my head whenever I had a spare moment, which thanks to the Hokage's insistence that we have two weeks of rest, had ensured.

Though realistically I had no basis of relationships to go off, weren't you supposed to see the other person more frequently than I was?

The mission had gone without a hitch, Kakashi had given his report to the Hokage and we'd been released, I had been somewhat bored by the entire episode, hoping something would come of it.

Sadly nothing turned out how I had wanted it to.

**Go find if you want to see him that badly, **Kyuubi's usual interference interrupted, **I'm sure he wants to see you just as much as you do him.**

_I'm really sure that's true, _I admitted my insecurities to the only parental figure I'd ever known. _I mean, how do I know what's normal and what's not?_

**True, **it agreed, **but you never know until you try.**

_But he could be on a mission, _I quipped, knowing I was just afraid that I'd find something I didn't want to.

**Quit making excuses and go brat, **Kyuubi insisted, **in matters like these I am much wiser than you.**

_Pssh, whatever, damn fox, _I quickly bit back, sitting up from the position on my bed, getting ready to do just what it had suggested.

**Yeah that's what I thought, **it snickered as it faded back into its usual resting place in the back of my mind taking a nap, which is mostly what it did these days.

Mentally griping out stupid nine-tailed fox youkai and their penchant for pissing me off I showered, got dressed, and then took off for Kakashi's place

Along the way I ensured that I moved stealthily, it wouldn't do for someone to hazard a guess as to why a genin would be heading to their sensei's house, especially on their down time.

When I'd arrived the doubt that had been growing within me with each day of not seeing the person who claimed to love me, grew to almost stifling proportions. It was then that thoughts such as, _what if he was lying, _or, _what if he changed his mind _swamped me, just as I had entered his second story window that lead to a room.

The room in question was obviously masculine from the décor, pale blue walls surrounded me, followed by blue bed coverings, and blue, well, _everything._

_What is with the blue? _I wondered as I continued to peruse his room. There were two pictures, one of his current team, complete with Sakura, Sasuke and I glaring at each other, and Kakashi patting our heads attempting to calm the rivalry and tension that obviously existed.

Shrugging my shoulders and chalking it up to his eccentric ways I left his room and looked through the rest of his house. Compared to his room the rest of the house lacked any type of personality imprints. The walls of every single room were bare and white; not really signaling what type of person inhabited it.

It reminded me of where I dwelled, except all of the rooms in my house looked like this including my room.

After looking entirely through the building it was painfully obvious that no one was home.

_So much for seeing him, _I thought, somehow let down, _I guess he is on a mission after all. _I started to backtrack, intending on leaving the way in which I had come when and audible _thump, _filled my already sensitive ears.

Evidently I would get to see him now.

That apprehension filled me and suddenly I didn't want to see him. I didn't want my fears affirmed. Though if they had to be I would definitely prefer it be on my own turf.

I hid in a nearby closet, praying that he wouldn't note the open window, knowing inwardly that he would. You don't get to the rank of jounin for being a pushover.

Footsteps came down the flight of stairs and I heard a sniffling sound precede them.

_Crap, he'd summoned his freaking dogs!_

"Come on out, whoever you are," came that familiar voice, though it was laced with deadly intent, not the softer tone he usually took with me. "I know you're in that closet, you might as well come out."

Summoning courage, which failed, I opted for the bravado that was acted more than felt, and stepped out.

"Naruto?" genuine surprise lit his tone and I felt myself smiling despite my trepidation.

"Last time I checked that was me." I said sardonically, arching an eyebrow as though _he _were the one who had been caught red-handed in the other's house.

Wishing he'd take off the bloody mask that cloaked his facial features I could only guess about how happy he was to see me.

"What are you doing here?" he rubbed his head sheepishly.

"I just thought I'd drop in for a visit." I retorted, taking in his gear, he'd obviously _not _been on mission.

My eyes narrowed.

"Well this isn't really the best time—"he began.

"—I can see that." I interrupted, the grim feelings from before came rushing back and I felt like an idiot for believing his claims of love. Obviously there was no time for little old me in his big busy life. What had I been thinking anyway? I too, had more important things to do than worry about sustaining a relationship. "I'm leaving." Was all I said before heading towards the front door that I hadn't thought to use.

Luckily Kyuubi had taught me from an early age how to school my features to look blank no matter what, so no emotion filled my features as I left, even though inside it felt as though my heart were put through a meat grinder.

I never looked back.

**I'm sorry brat, **Kyuubi conveyed as I slowly made my way back to where we dwelled, not caring if people noticed me staring sightlessly into space. I could find the way back to the rat hole with eyes closed, Kami knew in the past I'd had eyes swollen shut and still managed to make it back.

**I never thought something like this would happen. **It growled menacingly as it felt my pain, **let's go back brat, I'll show that masked moron what happens—**

_Leave it Kyuubi, _I managed to convey the pain threatening to overwhelm me if I acknowledged it in any way. _I really don't want to think about it today._

**But brat—**

_I said leave it! _I sharply retorted, then realizing I was taking it out on Kyuubi, _please._

**Fine, **it backed off.

_Can we finally leave this god forsaken village? _I begged it, praying that for once I could finally just leave this place behind.

**What about the masked moron? You don't want to try and resolve it?**

I laughed, it sounded fake even to my ears, _resolve what? Evidently anything we had was only in my mind. And frankly I'm tired, tired of dealing with humans and their selfishness, putting on a mask, just tired._

**Then we'll leave, **it agreed, **we can find other youkai easier that way anyway.**

Finally agreed we arrived at the ramshackle place where I'd spent my life so far, gathering up what meager belongings I possessed I packed them into a knapsack.

Taking one last look at the place that had housed me for all these years I felt no emotion that people normally feel when leaving somewhere they view as home, I opened the door…

…Where a masked jounin's hand froze midair as if he had been just about to knock.

The pain from only an hour ago filled me and I swallowed it back as best I could, still all I could manage was a "What?"

Confusion lit his eyes at my knapsack and his eyes met mine as a dawning realization replaced the daze.

"Where were you going?" he demanded in his "sensei" voice, my hair bristling at his tone and the fact that he'd used the past tense as if because he'd showed up all of my plans were automatically moot.

"None of your business." Was all I said as I made to brush past him with my mask of indifference and dignity intact.

His hand grabbed my arm, instantly warming it reminding me of earlier, more _intimate _encounters.

I felt myself tremble unwillingly at the contact and didn't turn around to face him, knowing my expressionless mask was no longer present.

"Let go." Was all I could gasp, not very convincingly.

"Tell me where you were going." He had turned his body to face my back and was now whispering in my ears.

_Damn him! He knows how sensitive my ears are! _

A mental reminder of how he'd just acted brought me out of my daze.

"Let. Me. Go." I replied firmer in my tone this time, stiffening my body so he would get the message.

He didn't.

Or deliberately ignored my body language just to piss me off further.

Instead of obeying my directive, he enveloped my back in his warmth, not unlike the day when he'd first claimed to love me.

What a crock of shit.

To my horror I found my body start to shake and tears flow out of my eyes.

"Tell me what's the matter, Naruto." He whispered into my ear, pleadingly, seeming genuinely concerned for what was going on.

"Nothing!" I sobbed miserably, the insecurities I'd been facing and the heartbreak he was putting me through filled me and I would have collapsed if he hadn't taken on my weight.

He must have figured that his would be better dealt with inside because next thing I know he slammed my body into the door, taking both of my arms captive over my head. Dimly I noted that we were in the kitchen.

"You will tell me what is going on Naruto." He commanded me. "Why were you at my house, why you left in such a way, and where you thing you're going." He fumbled for a moment, using one of his hands to hold both of mind captive, using the other to tilt my chin so that my face met his eyes.

I still looked away.

"You are the one who made no attempt to see me for the last two weeks!" I sobbed pathetically, looking pointedly at the floor.

To my horror and shock he started laughing.

I stared at him in outrage, anger filling me where hurt and despair had just occupied it.

"I'm sorry." He gasped out, finally getting serious again, anger filling his tone, "you were going to leave because of that?!"

"And what if I was, am." I corrected. "There wouldn't be anything you could do to stop it."

A dangerous look suddenly filled his face, filling me with apprehension. _Shit, maybe I should watch my words more carefully._

Yanking his mask down, he brought his face close to mine, close enough to kiss.

I almost forgot my slight fear at the sight, until he spoke.

"You will not leave me, _ever." _His hold on me tightened to the point of pain. "Not when I've finally got you."

He started to kiss my face, licking a path from my chin to the tear tracks originating at my eyes. This time my body started shaking from something entirely different than fear.

"Kakashi." I groaned, lifting my face for more contact. He obliged opting for my neck, which I tilted to the side to give him better access. "You. Are. Mine." Was all he said, over and over, punctuating each word with a caress.

Soon I was lost to sensation, words forgotten as that sinful mouth finally took mine in a kiss, sucking my tongue into his mouth. Need for more contact filled me to the point of pain.

"Bed." I gasped. "Now."

He wasted no time, gathering me in his arms he raced to the room where I slept throwing me onto the bed.

However, he didn't follow just stared at me with those eyes.

"First." He bit off. "We talk.

**End of Chapter 15 **


	17. Chapter 16 Life

_Thanks to everyone who has stuck with this story for so long. This is possibly the last chapter, I have yet to decide. I kind of like where things have ended. Once again, thanks for having stay tuned, I know it was annoying waiting for me to update._

_A YaoiWhore_

**Chapter 16 Life**

The fire that Kakashi had just stoked was quickly quelled at his words.

_Talk? _Dread filled me; _we're going to discuss his catching me breaking in his home. _

I felt my face flush in embarrassment, forgetting for a moment, all of my doubts and intent to leave.

"I have a perfectly logical excuse for why I was in your house." I defended, although he had yet to broach the subject at all.

His eyes lit, taking on that amused gleam they would get from time to time.

I sighed inwardly, _come on brain think, what excuse would pacify even his logic?_

I continued to think of an excuse for a long moment, completely forgetting about the fact that I was in the middle of a conversation.

His outright laugh brought me out of my reverie. Evidently in the moment of my pondering, he'd decided to remove his mask, for it was nowhere to be seen as he clutched his side, tears coming out of his eyes.

I crossed my arms over my chest, most decidedly not amused, arching an eyebrow waiting for this moment of apparent hilarity to end. Although I don't know how intimidating the gesture was considering I was still laying on the bed.

As the laughter died down, his eyes grew serious and had a somewhat grim look to them, a sight that was unfamiliar to me on his face. It filled me with fear at what exactly we about to discuss, and the sick feeling that this wasn't just about my breaking and entering fiasco.

"Naruto—"he broke off, running a hand through that silvery hair, "there really is no easy way to say this so I am just going to say it. I was ordered by the Hokage to report everything that involved you and the Kyuubi during the mission."

"And you did." I finished for him, my voice growing colder by the minute. His silence was my affirmation.

I said nothing for a full minute just letting what he'd said soak into my brain, my heart beating dully against my chest, I got up from the bed and made my way over to the door stopping at it for a moment.

"You know the funny thing was I actually thought for a minute that this might work." I snorted derisively, trying not to let out a sob. "My mistake. I should have known better than to trust one of Konoha's dogs."

As I opened the door and went to walk through it, a hand on my shoulder attempted to yank me back.

Alright now he was pissing me off, I grabbed his arm and flipped him over my shoulder, his body landing with a loud _thump! _on the hardwood floor.

He looked at me from his upside down position from the ground, dumbfounded.

At his unmitigated gall to look affronted, the leash I had barely been keeping on my anger snapped and my glamour along with it.

"Don't give me that look!" I accusingly screamed at him. "You are the one who stabbed me in the back, not the other way around! You don't get to give that betrayed look!"

I swear my heart was about to shatter into pieces, it hurt so fucking much!

Taking a deep breath I attempted to regain enough composure to at least maintain my glamour. As I felt the familiar feeling of it in place I walked back to the main room without looking back at the man responsible for this.

I grabbed the meager belongings I had already packed and made my way over to the door, _gods this town is full of nothing but backstabbers and bastards. _

I went to walk out the door, but once again a hand for the third time that day, grabbed me by the shoulder and yanked me back in.

However, this time the door was slammed behind me, my things thrown into some remote corner, and a pair of warm lips descended on mine with no warning.

Those arms locked themselves around my neck in a vice grip, not giving me a chance to escape.

Of course escape was the only thing on my mind at the time, I tried to maneuver my body so I could bring my legs up to kick him, but it wasn't happening. Instead he slammed my body into the wall and put one of his legs between my two, rubbing his thigh against my clothe-clad length trying to elicit a reaction.

My body betrayed me as it always did with this man; I growled and tried to fight it by biting his lips.

He took this opportunity to insert his tongue into my mouth, immediately seeking out my own appendage.

Against my will I groaned, he knew just where to touch me to get me to cry out and make my body weep for more. It was so unfair.

Tears started making their way out of my eyes, when it came to physical ability I could beat him easily enough, but this was an attack on my psyche and it was working, it was a fight I couldn't win.

He buried his face in my neck, the tears stopping his onslaught.

"Please don't cry, Naruto." He begged. "You're not playing fair."

I felt a hysterical laugh bubble up from inside of me.

"I'm not playing fair?" I half sobbed, half laughed. "Says the one using sexual appeal to subdue."

"I'm sorry." He groaned against my neck, sending shudders down my body. "It was the only thing I could think of."

"The great Kakashi forced to use physical manipulation to get what he wants?" I scoffed as convincingly as I could with tears still making their way down my face. "What is the world coming to?"

"When it comes to the one I love, it's a different matter altogether." He admitted shamelessly. "I'll use whatever tactic I have to keep you."

Despite the anger and betrayal I felt towards him, these words stroked a chord somewhere inside of me. No one—save Kyuubi—had ever given a damn about me, much less if I stayed or went.

I sighed.

"You're making it awfully hard to stay mad at you Kakashi." I growled at him, frustrated at my own weakness. "You betrayed me; I wouldn't care if it was God himself. My relationship with Kyuubi was told to you in confidence."

"You didn't give me a chance to finish." Kakashi pointed out. "If you had I would have told you all I said to the Hokage was that I thought the seal was beginning to break, that's all."

I brought his head up with my now-released hands at that.

"If that's true," I demanded, "then why did you act so damned guilty?"

"Well I still had to leave you for two weeks," he grudgingly muttered.

I just stared at him.

"What? You thought you were the only one?" He smiled at me with those near-perfect features. "Naruto if I'd been able to I would have taken you home and kept you in bed."

I blushed at that.

"You are such a pervert."

He grinned, "You know you like it." Then his grin faltered. "Seriously though Naruto, you have got to stop threatening to leave when you have doubts or things don't go your way."

I sighed, "Kakashi how is this going to work? You have your loyalties and I have mine. They certainly aren't to the same people."

He nuzzled my head, "Naruto you will always be who my loyalties lie with."

I looked up at him. "You know eventually I will have to leave."

He looked grim, "Yes I realize that."

"Well what will you do?" I asked. "Once I leave this village I can never return, you know the laws concerning deserters."

He nodded.

"Well?"

"That choice is easy Naruto; I will be leaving with you."

An emotion I couldn't put a name to welled up in my chest at his words. Determination filled me, if it was the last thing I ever did, never would I let doubts or anything like them separate me from him, even my own stupidity.

"What about loved ones? I couldn't ask you to leave them."

He smiled sadly.

"I lost anyone dear to me, long ago." He gathered me in his arms, his head still on top of my own. "In fact, you could say you gave me reason to live. Before I met you, I was surviving from day to day, carrying out my missions as ordered. It wasn't until I saw you for the first time that I realized I hadn't really been living at all."

At his words my throat grew thick, I embraced him as tight as I could, my voice muffled by his shirt. "You don't know how true those words are for me as well. Living without feeling isn't living at all."

Our lips met as if we had planned it, his tongue dipping into my already parted lips, as our tongues massaged the other's the desire in my body's desire grew.

Clothes seemed to melt away as we stumbled our way to the bedroom. By the time we actually reached the bed we were both already naked.

He started to stretch me, but I couldn't wait. I thrusted against his fingers, wanting something _thicker_ inside me.

"Now, Kakashi!" I groaned. "Enter me now."

"I don't want to hurt you." He managed to pant.

"I'll be fine! Just hurry."

He entered me in one thrust, I moaned at the pleasure mixed with pain at his entry, he'd hit that special spot inside of me in one thrust.

He established a rhythm, filled with quick hard thrusts. My legs went around his waist in desperation to pull him in deeper. It didn't take long after that, I felt my vision go white, and then I was diving off the edge of the precipice. I felt his hot seed fill me with its warmth as he too, came.

For a long moment afterwards we stayed just like that, him inside me, trying to remain as one for as long as possible. Eventually, though as it does, reality returned and he pulled out of me.

Neither one of us made a move to get up, though, perfectly content to stay entangled in the other's limbs.

As I lay there with him I thought back to all the events in my life that had led up to this. After thinking it through I decided that though I had suffered it had mostly been worth it. Sure there was the Sasuke fiasco, but that was over. The goal that I had had, to regain my emotions had been successful, and I had the man laying with me to thank for that.

There were of course still some challenges that lay ahead, and there would be future disagreements. However as long as I had Kakashi with me I know I could face them. My life was just starting and the Gods only knew where it would end up.

Ah, if only you knew.

**The end….**

**Or is it?**


End file.
